Wow I'm hungry.

The best and worst thing about winter is the calmness. The quiet.

And as much as I resent the cold I appreciate the canvas. The contrast.

Sun against snow is something really beautiful, you know. Like cheese and chocolate, or pretzels and ice cream, or sour cream on a hot tamale.

Wow I'm hungry. 

The Communism of Cake

Well, I don't know about you, but I could use a slice of Tom Selleck right about now.

This MOST AMAZING SLICE OF CHOCOLATE MUSTACHE cake is courtesy of  Alicia Policia, who  also created the fantabulous Muppet party I featured back in November. She made this cake TWO YEARS AGO and it irks me to think of all the time that went by without me knowing of its existence. How much cheerier would these years have been had known Tom Selleck cake was a life option?

And while I am not as handy with a frosting tube as Alicia, you can bet I will be attempting my own version soon. I feel Inigo Montoya deserves to be rendered in cake, don't you? Or Elvis. Or Cher. Maybe Liza Minelli. Oh crap, she already has a cake.

Trust me, he looks better in cake.

When I was in college my friend Joe, a cold war history buff, was obsessed with Mikhail Gorbachev, former General Secretary of Russia. Random: do we say Russia or USSR? Now it's Russia but when Gobachev was in charge it was the USSR. Anyway, you get the point--Joe was crazy for Gorbachev so we hired a bakery to airbrush Gobachev's picture on a sheet cake and lit it up with seventy gillion candles and surprised Joe for his birthday. It was amazing until someone started arguing about who got to eat the birthmark and someone else yelled IT BELONGS TO MOTHER RUSSIA and it all ended badly with a bottle of vodka catching fire from a birthday candle. There's probably some "for each according to their need" Marxist fable to be taken from the incident but that's a little too deep for this blog post. Bottom line is you can't be greedy with cake, especially communist cake, and double especially with Tom Selleck cake. His mustache belongs to all of us.

 

You can't procrastinate sequins

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now.

It's temporary. Nothing to worry about, although, it is enough to make the world seem a little heavier than usual.  It feels like my head is going to explode.

Yes, I should combat this by making lists of priorities and remember what is important. Quit procrastinating, set my head down and get the work done. I should also remember to take time for myself...take a quick winter walk, make a friendly phone call, or enjoy a delicious bubble bath...

Instead, today, I have chosen to spend nearly an hour arranging silver sequin sprays in a sculpted head.

And now it officially looks like my head is exploding.

Anyone out there have tips for combating procrastination? Feel free to share. I'm all ears (and sequins).

Here Come The Sloths

Sloth Eating Spaghetti by Joe Havasy, $16.00

My love of cat videos has some new competition: sloth videos.

A sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica had the genius idea to document their residents on video and upload them to youtube.

Oh. Em. Gee.

This has sent me on a week-long sloth crusade, learning everything I can about these curious and delightfully strange creatures. Of course, my first instinct is to want to bring one home as a sibling for Lola but apparently that is the least helpful thing you can do. Sloths are not domesticated. And despite the wonderful rendering above by Joe Havasy, sloths do not eat spaghetti. Sloths are mighty jungle dwellers who feast on hibiscus flowers and bathe in gungy green tea. Don't believe me? Watch this!



The Sloth Sanctuary of Costa Rica has oodles more videos to keep you busy this weekend. If they successfully suck you into their web of cuteness (as if you had a choice), you can support their efforts by making a donation, or adopting a sloth for as little as $25 a month. You can even spend time volunteering at the sanctuary! Seriously, how cool would it be to tell the neighbors you spent your vacation potty training baby sloths? WAY COOL!

Happy weekend :)

 

Valentine Swap 2012: You in?

***TRUMPET SOUND TRUMPET SOUND TRUMPET SOUND*** 

Attention handmade valentine lovers!

Last year's Valentine swap was such a success we are doing it again. Are you in? In a nutshell, this is how it works:

You send three handmade valentines to total strangers = You will receive three handmade valentines from total strangers.

Sounds great, right? 

So, you in? 

Awesome. 

Send me an email with your address: emailauntpeaches@gmail.com subject "valentine swap." It's easy! Please note: you need to send me an email. Comments are great but I can't count you in the swap unless you send me a direct email. 

Knitty Gritty

Here is what you should expect:

• You make three handmade* valentines.
• You send me an email with your address before 5pm CST on Sunday, Jan 29.
• You receive an email from me on Wed, Feb 1 with the addresses of three total strangers.
• You send one valentine to each address you receive, no later than Sunday Feb 5.
• You receive three valentines sometime around Valentines Day. 

*Handmade is an open term. No one is expected to produce a masterpiece. If you are saying "But I can't make anything nice!" then you are *exactly* the sort of person who should participate. I want hear from YOU! Construction paper, paint, paste, macaroni, crayons, collage, glitter, pipe cleaners....sky is the limit. Only requirement is that it fit in a standard envelope.

Please Keep in Mind...

• This exchange is open to anyone, anywhere, any skill level. No one is expected to buy anything except stamps (heads up: people who read this blog are scattered around the world, so we all might need to double up on stamps!)
• You are welcome to include a note inside your valentines with information about yourself, your blog/website/etsy business etc...but it is not required or expected.
• This is not an advertising opportunity. This is just a simple way to exchange random acts of kindness and send some love out into the world. No Debbie Downers, please :)
• If you feel weird disclosing your name and address, I assure you I will not compile and use this information for any other purpose besides sending you valentines! Please be sure to include your name. Last year, some folks omitted their names and the post office refused deliver the cards, so just include your initials or nick name if you are uncomfortable with everyone getting up in your business.   

So, who's in?

 

Send me an email before 5pm CST on Sunday, Jan 29.: emailauntpeaches@gmail.com and include your address!

Valentine Garland from Plastic Grocery Bags

Despite the fact that I own eleventy thousand reusable grocery totes, I always end up with a pile of plastic bags. 

Crunchy, flimsy, entirely eco-un-friendly plastic bags. 

What to do? 

I already have a lamp. 

Hey, I know, here, let’s make a festive garland. It will look like those nifty crayon hearts but more gruff and tumble. Let’s make some hearts with rock n’roll soul! 

Materials

• Plastic bags
• Parchment paper
• Tin foil
• Iron (and a flat surface or ironing board

The amount of bags will depend on how thick you want your hearts. I started with 20ish (later  divided into stacks of 3). First, cut of the handles and trim off the bottoms --the end result will look like a big flopsy tube. Important: turn them inside out so the print faces inward and away from your iron or you will end up with a big ink mess.

Cover your surface with aluminum foil then sandwich three plastic bags between two sheets of 
parchment paper. 

Get your iron hot and go to town! Keep your iron moving around for about 15 seconds then lift up the parchment to see what you find. It could be melted to bits with tiny, lace-like holes; it could be thick and solid—results vary widely depending on the grade of plastic bag. 

Give it a minute to cool before you peel it away from the parchment. The end result will feel like a big plasticy potato chip.

*Note: I use the hottest setting on my iron because I like to get it good and melted. If you want flakey biscuit looking hearts, use the lower settings and check more frequently.

Cut out your hearts. Lots of them. It's the same as cutting paper and it's easy. Read: Get a kiddo to do it for you. I think they look pretty nifty as is, but if you want to string them into garland, read on!

Sewing the hearts by machine is super easy --just lay down a strip of tissue paper and stitch a solid line, randomly inserting a heart every few inches (the tissue paper will prevent the machine from snagging between the hearts).

Tear away the tissue paper from the hearts. I find this part oddly cathartic. 

If the tissue paper snags when you tear it away, try tightening the stitches.

I chose to tie my garlands on to an old tension rod and hang them in the window, but I think, after Valentines, I might try restringing them onto a lampshade or something. Or maybe cut them up further and string them into a necklace. Something funky.

Random: throw some tinsel bits in between the bags before you iron. The end result looks like confetti. Or spaghetti. Or something...

This is one of those projects that was a snap to make but difficult to photograph. My camera skills struggle to capture the light coming through each one of the hearts, each more red and luminous than the last. Winter mornings can be a real downer--these hearts are a welcome sight.

The House of the White Buffalo

Kiki gave me a giant white cardboard buffalo for Christmica.

This is awesome because

1. I adore taxidermy. It's weird and unfashionable and it creeps out my guests, but there is something about creature parts that make me feel at home. Is that weird? Yeah, that's weird.
2. It's cardboard and feels like a modern twist on Montana Cabin Chic, which, btw, when is this look coming back? I for one am anxiously awaiting the return of the bolo.
3. He looks great hanging on the thin band of pale pink I have in the dining room. Buffalo + Pink = Fabulous. Who knew?   
4. He's a buffalo. Enough said. 
5. I can now fulfill my childhood fantasy of living in a home with a cool name like Green Gables or Twelve Oaks or Netherfield Park; my home shall be called The House of the White Buffalo. You like? It's very Dances with Wolves minus the scene when Kevin Kostner shows his butt.  Holy crap that was a good movie.
   

Yellow Snow

There was a crap ton of snow yesterday leaving everything blanketed in downy puffs of white.

Delicate.

Peaceful.

One of the neighbor's statues got her self a hair hat, and, for a moment there, she looked like a Victorian princess.

I remember when I used to rat my hair like that.

Because you know what they say: The higher the hair the closer to God.

But what you don't see in this picture is the following minute when an Australian Collie decided to use her as his morning fire hydrant. 

Moral of the story: Not even princesses, even the Godly ones, can avoid yellow snow. 

Pink Kitchen

Images: Inspire Bohemia via Absolutely Beautiful Things ; India Knight's Kitchen featured in Living Etc Magazine

This is it.

I have reached new heights in spangled frivolity. 

I am seriously considering painting my kitchen pink. 

I have made a lot of changes and updates to my place since moving in last fall but have yet to touch the kitchen. At all. And it could use some work. I have been avoiding it because the kitchen is used so frequently and I don’t want to be tripping over paint brushes and tile grout just to make a piece of toast….but now I realize it will never get done unless I crack down and do it, so, this week I find myself with kitchen décor on the brain. Despite a plethora of amazing ideas out there, I keep circling back to the idea of a pink kitchen. 

My Grandnanna had a pink kitchen (not Pumpkin, the otherone) so the idea is not exactly new. But it’s a little scary. Not that I have ever been scared of color, you know, it just the thought of stumbling out of the bathroom each morning to say, WOW THAT’S A PINK KITCHEN!

Pro’s

• I like pink. A lot. Hot pink especially.
• Pinks walls will distract from the dingy, outdated, 100% paint resistant melamine cabinets.
• Pink walls will distract from the continual mess that generates in my kitchen (only tidy cooks can have gleaming all white kitchens – I want something where clutter looks at home!)
• Pink walls are a nice, feminine, foofy counterbalance to a room filled with sharp, masculine, metallic, and dangerous objects; in fact, if there ever was a room that could handle pink –it’s the kitchen.
• It’s only paint. If/When I have the time/money to do a thorough renovation I can do something more classic, but for now it’s fun. 

Cons

• I will be known as The Cat Lady With The Pink Kitchen.

Yup. So that seals it: I’m getting a pink kitchen.

Why I like Valentines Day And Other Thoughts On Lighter Fluid

List of Valentines Gifts I have received over the years:

• One gallon drum of lighter fluid
• One pair of purple Japanese fighting fish (OH, THE IRONY)
• One rumpled lunch bag of stolen batteries, size C
• Two second-hand corsages taken from a nursing home cafeteria
• Three pairs of red satin banana hammocks, shaped like roses, thoughtfully purchased from the lotto counter at the all-night 7-11.

*Note: Banana hammock is slang for a certain kind of mens underpants. They are, apparently, easy to mistake for ladies underpants, especially when balled up like roses and thoughtfully purchased from the lotto counter at the all-night 7-11.

With this in mind, you can see why I don’t mind being single come Valentines day. Why, with all the banana hammocks and lighter fluid laying around the house, who needs romance?

*Semi-Related Odd Fact: If you have pesky adhesive residue stuck to, say, a glass knick-knack or car bumper, you can swab it with lighter fluid and set it one fire. The crud will burn clean off. No more pesky residue! Just make sure someone stands by with a fire extinguisher. Safety first. This is a great way for a couple to spend a quiet, romantic evening at home.  

Despite my personal history with Valentines Day, I do miss the idea of valentines. Real valentines. You know—beautiful little notes and cards expressing beautiful little thoughts, perfectly packaged in tiny red envelopes.

A few years ago, some single (and not-so-single) friends and I realized that we were never going to be on the receiving end of real valentines, so, we just started making the for ourselves. Cards, that is. We started swapping handmade valentines.

Then last year I expended the circle. I invited all of you to join in the valentine swap and send me your addresses. In the end, 73 people participated! That’s 73 people who sent and received three Valentines to/from total strangers. That’s 219 lovely, handmade valentines bouncing all over the globe. Huzzah!

I put myself in the mix too. Look at this tricked out Alice in Wonderland style valentine I got from Lacey in Vancouver, BC. (Citizens of Canada: your girl done good!)

As if the cover (top image) wasn’t amazing enough, it contained a series of 3 smaller and smaller valentines. The final note is so teensy, I could barely make out the words. It was pinned up in my studio until I moved, and now it’s pinned up at work. It puts a smile on my face every time I see it. And way, way better than any bannana hammock, that’s for Hell Sure.

Now that I have presented you with Lacey’s act of wonder, I’m hoping y’all will put your doily trimmed thinking cap on and consider sending out some Valentines of your own. Maybe you already know someone who deserves a special card. Even better if you don't because I’m going to orchestrate another swap! Stay tuned. Just trying to figure out the logistics before I start taking names. Details to follow...