10 September 2010

Back in my failed former days as a window dresser, I got some good advice from Tanja, the Grand Dame of the cosmetics department. Originally from Romania, Tanja was widely renowned for her eyebrow waxing skills and had arrived at a point in her career when she only had to take one appointment a day, then happily dragged it out all afternoon. Most of the time was spent smoking and laughing and singing gypsy folk songs about beet salad, then more smoking and dispensing advice about important things like men, business, and unwanted hair. Of the many things I learned from Tanja, there are three golden nuggets that stand out;
  1. Never brush your teeth with blue toothpaste.
  2. Men with excessively bushy eyebrows are likely to cheat on their wives.
  3. Women will buy anything wrapped in roses.*
             *Women married to men with excessively bushy eyebrows should expect a lot of roses.


A week after Tanja dropped that old chestnut, my new boss gave me the task of revamping a central display table. Huzzah! This was a big deal for me, as all my previous tasks had been corner shelves and side boards in the men’s underwear section. After weeks and weeks of fanning out acrylic trouser socks, this was my big break. Mr. Ross walked me over to the table in question.

Good news: it was premium real estate.

Bad news: the product was rubber boobs.

Technically speaking, they were silicone brassiere inserts (you know the ones that look like chicken cutlets)…back then they were new to the people and no one knew what to think of them. They were universally unfamiliar, unattractive, and not the type of thing customers wanted to be seen ogling in public. The buyer had overstocked and they needed to clear inventory, but who was going to buy these things?

No one wants to buy ugly rubber boobs in public, especially at a high end department store. No wonder they slated this project for the new kid. Disappointed and bewildered, I remembered Tanja’s advice: Women will buy anything wrapped in roses.

SHAZAM! Faster than you can yank a unibrow, three of us grabbed some scissors and stayed up half the night making paper roses out of lingerie packaging tissue (thank you again Jeanie and Shayna!)…we swapped in a black and white striped table cloth and wedged the roses in between the boxes. The end result resembled a car sized wedding cake dimpled with chicken cutlets and the inventory cleared in less than a week. LESS THAN A WEEK. It had stood there for over a month and hardly anyone ever peeped, and now they sold out in LESS THAN A WEEK.

Roses, y'all. Don’t underestimate them.

All flowers have the ability to highlight their surroundings, but there is something about roses. We are attracted to them like no other. It’s distinct and special and makes no sense whatsoever. I’m not sure if it’s genetic or cultural, but it is ingrained in us women folk something fierce.

I know a lot of brides will look at these roses as potential centerpieces, but ya’ll have to think bigger! These roses are for YOU.

Do you sell stuff at art and craft shows? Consider making them to tuck in the corner of your display unit, or cluster around the base of a pedestal.

Do you design clothes, run a boutique, or sell vintage apparel online? Pin a few roses at the neck of your mannequin or model. Those items will get attention like you have never seen before!

Do you sell jewelry on Etsy? Poke earnings through the petals, or, weave a  necklace around the stem before you take the photo. If you are afraid it will distract, keep the rose and background the same color.

Do you need to sell your house? Once your house is thoroughly "d├ęcor neutralized" make 3 dozen of these in yellow and put them in a vase located within eye-sight of the front door. Even people who hate flowers will get the distinct impression happy things happen in this place, I want to be happy, I want to live here…and suddenly BOO YOW, your butt is moving in no time!



Materials:

*Coffee Filters
*Acrylic or Latex craft paint
*Plastic fork
*Drinking Straws
*Masking tape (mine is green, but any color will do fine) 


Dying Filters
  1. Take 3 tablespoons of pink latex craft paint and mix with a smidge of yellow. Note: the yellow is not necessary, but I find mixing a dab of an earthy/neutral tone in any color paint always helps the end results look more organic.
  2. Mix in half a cup of water and stir with a fork until lumps disappear. Add more paint or water until it's the consistency of milk.
  3. Add 2 cups of water and mix again
  4. Submerge your filters, up to 20 at a time. Squish until paint is well distributed.
  5. Wring out excess paint, and if color is too bold, rinse with cold running water until you achieve the desired tone. Dry thoroughly.
Level 1: Simple Spiral Rose 

1.  Take one previously dyed filter and cut a spiral shape, roughly 1” from the outer edge. The result will be a long strip, roughly 1” wide by  36” in length (don’t worry if it’s longer or shorter, just know you're going for a long skinny strip).

2.  Think of the strip as a piece of ribbon. Starting at the center point of the filter, stick it to the edge of 12” piece of masking tape, leaving 1” of tape available at the end. Continue down the strip, pleating/gathering as you go. Pleating/gathering, pleating/gathering, pleating/gathering….



3.  Continue to pleat/gather down the strip. Just squish it, no big deal. There is no math involved here. It will take you a while to get a rhythm going, but you will get there I promise! Note: If you reallllllly struggle to get the hang of the pleating/gathering, you can also sew a running stitch down the edge of the filter and pleat that way, but personally, I like the inconsistent results from pleating by hand.

4.    Once the strip is finished, take that first empty inch of tape and wind it around the tip of a drinking straw. Continue to wind the tape around the end of the straw.

5.    Add another 12” piece of tape to the base, on the diagonal.

6.    Wrap the tape around the straw to make a stem.

7.    Ta Da!

Level 2: Happy Ruffled Rose 


1.    Fold three filters in quarters, then trim scalloped edges along the edge and through the center.

2.    Results will be three scalloped circles and three scalloped doughnuts. Cut across the doughnuts to open them up (see, your making strips, just like the Simple Spiral Rose)


3.    Twist one scalloped circle and attach to the end of the tape, leaving one inch open. Take the other two scalloped circled, twist, attach, repeat.

4.    Think of your doughnut shape as a long strip of ribbon. Stick it to the tape, finger pleating as you go. The points of the scallops will help you to develop a rhythm as you move down the tape.

5.    Attach the other scalloped doughnuts, and, if you wish an empty stretch of tape, followed by a couple of leaves

6.    Starting from the inside, stick the tape to the end of the straw and roll your way up.

7.    Ta Da!

Level 3: Giant Ruffled Rose
 

1.    Get your cat to model some giant coffee filters. Isn’t she cute? She has been brushing up on her Vanna White skills. I know, I know, she is so talented! Lola also wanted to show you the scale of these babies –they are HUGE. You can get them online, or at your local coffee shop, pancake house, or even your Church basement. Anywhere that serves large quantities of coffee. Ask nicely, then promise to return with a finished flower, and I bet they will give you a few.

2.    Tip: when you dye the extra large filters, rinse the edges out so the center is a slightly deeper color. This will really help to give the impression of a realistic blossom.


3.    Similar to the Happy Ruffled rose, fold in quarters and cut scalloped shapes (this time there are three levels instead of two)

4.    Because one filter will generate a large flower, you only need one twisted piece in the center. Follow with the inside scallop doughnut strip.

5.    Follow with the outer scallop doughnut.


6.    Attach to the tip of a straw and roll.

7.    Keep rolling. This will quickly thicken up –try to keep your tape in line as much as possible.

8.    Ta Da! One filter will generate a rose as big as your hand, but keep going and three filters will make rose as big as your face. Try it!

Tips and Tricks  
 

  • When you dry your flowers, dry them upside down, clipped to a string or laundry line. This will encourage the dye pigments to settle toward the center of the spiral, same as in nature. It’s a subtle difference, but it really enhances the end result. You can also get this result by rinsing the edges of your flowers with water before they dry.
  • Instead of cutting scallops, cut skinny jagged edges to get a spider mum (more on this next Friday!)

  • To get a two-tone rose, paint the edges a deeper color.  
  • Have fun!

53 comments:

  1. this actually made me laugh out loud. what a hoot!

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  2. I was laughing and that is good; on no it is bad because I have a cold and it makes me cough and my ribs are hurtin' from all that coughin; but it was worth it.

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  3. Erm........that part about the bushy eyebrows is spot on. I should know. My ex husband barely had a forehead his eyebrows were so big. I can't even tel you how many roses I got before we divorced. Now I can't stand to look at them, but these are really very beautiful.

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  4. lol :o) u know I remember that night making flowers in the basement with you girl! now I got t run and check out the rest of your blog to see what else you r cooking up!
    buzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. These are great, can't wait to try it out!
    ps why no blue toothpaste?

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  6. HAHAHA! Love it! Love the cat-child too. And LOVE the roses. I'll be linking.

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  7. These are awesome...i just love to comment..waoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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  8. These are beautiful and the perfect thing to add to the bedside table before photographing our bedroom! Thanks for the tutorial!

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  9. GORGEOUS!!! My sis and I have totally been on a paper flower kick lately. We recently did some coffee filter flowers (not roses, though) and just loved the result. I'm definitely tryin' out these roses. And good tip for selling- may have to try that too:)

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  10. Complete madness and hilarity, plus a genius craft! Using that green tape is the cleverest thing. What glorious flowers!

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  11. Every gal needs a Romanian gypsy woman to teach her some sage womanly secrets just like every gal needs to learn how to make coffee filter roses to perk up any room. I need to make some peonies this way!

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  12. Thanks everyone, I'm so happy you like them!!!! Jills-- the toothpaste thing has something to do w the blue dye getting into your bloodstream through your gums.... I'm sure it's a conspiracy theory, but I tell you, it has prevented me from buying non-white toothpaste ever since!!

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  13. Wonderful! I sense a crafting day in my near future. Thank you!

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  14. Hi, I visited the blog and I love the paper flowers that you taught to do. 'll Ever come back to see what's new.

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  15. love,love,love! A snagged some coffee filters at my mom's house on the last visit, and they're just waiting.....thanks so much for linking up on Craft Schooling Sunday, truly great to have you!

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  16. Sara, you know I just love to link up at your site! Thanks for providing such a great forum.

    Everyone, thank you for the kind words, you really made my day :)

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  17. These are so beautiful! I linked to this post in my Friday Favorites...

    http://www.laniejandco.com/2010/09/friday-favorites-91610.html

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  18. Are you kidding? These are gorgeous!!

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  19. Thank you, for the story and the roses!

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  20. I loved making these! Thanks for sharing.

    p.s. My Facebook Pic is my bouquet, facebook/almckee97

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  21. These are simply stunning! Thanks for sharing ... I've posted a link.

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  22. We are doing the giant ones for a friend's 54 th birthday celebration. A little red wine, some chocolate fondue, and your rose project!

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  23. So gorgeous! I love them. I'm listing this in my Craft Inspiration links this Monday.

    Kiersten
    Green Spot Blue

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  24. So beautiful roses ;) Want to try to do the same

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  25. Mariah ThompsonMay 5, 2011 at 9:39 PM

    I am making these as center pieces for my grad party thank u so much for the post i have already made one and it looks beautiful:)

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  26. Absolutely beautiful. I think every house should have some.

    I have linked to them today as one of my favourite pages…
    http://monkeyandsquidge.blogspot.com/

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  27. Thanks so much for giving me inspiration! I volunteer my time a few times a month at a local senior citizen assisted living center. The ladies are going to LOVE this project! They always seem to come alive when ever we do anything with flowers. . . . . . . I will let you know how it goes! THANKS, Donna

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  28. Thank you for the wonderfully clear instructions, and the hilarious story.

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  29. http://www.facebook.com/note.php?saved&&note_id=2276754115261#!/note.php?note_id=2276754115261
    I wanted to share this with you I hope the link works right.

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  30. Love, love, love this post!! thank you so much for entertaining us with you story and all those tips on how to sell!!! lol Oh how I wish I had known Tanja!

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  31. I love these! Tell me, what size are the regular coffee filters?

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  32. Found your post on pinterest! LOVE this, so fun! I love your story...totally made me laugh! Love the huge wedding cake image with "chicken cutlets".

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  33. Just an FYI, I have featured this blog post on my blog for creativity, CleverSpread (http://cleverspread.blogspot.ca). Any issues with the posting, please do not hesitate to contact me. Happy blogging! GREAT idea! - Janet F (cleverspread@gmail.com)

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  34. OMG!! I love these flowers so much! So much so, that I made some for my daughter's birthday this past sunday. Check out my flowers on my blog here: http://laidoffmom.com/entertaining/coffee-filter-flowers/ And like any good blogger would, I referenced you and your great site! Luv u to "Peaches"!

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  35. You are adorable, and very creative. Thanks for sharing!

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  36. You can dry your filters in the dryer, just 2 to 3 minutes only.

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  37. I just pinned beautiful "Miss Lola" on my pinterest page @"ElizabethC."
    Your wit and writing and tutorials rate an A+++.
    Love your blog! I am a new fan and follower! :D

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  38. I love this tutorial and the story behind it. I don't think I'll ever forget it!
    Thanks:0)
    Angie

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  39. I dont know what Im doing wrong, but every time I do the Simple Spiral Rose, once I get to rolling the tape around the stem (straw) it does "bloom". Its completely closed and tight, like there is too much tape, but there isnt. I tried opening the petals after I rolled them onto the straw and I tried while I was rolling, but it makes no difference. They just wont "bloom". I was really looking forward to using these beautiful roses for my wedding, but I just dont know how to make them look like the pictures. :(

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  40. I NEVER MADE COFFEE FILTER FLOWERS UNTIL THIS WEEK . I HAVE BEEN SEACHING FOR SOME IDEAS . YOUR FLOWERS ARE THE BEST . THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR IDEA.

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  41. Thank you so much Peaches! You & I have a lot in common, & I love your stories & tutorials. If I'm not mistaken, like me, you only have 4-legged furry children & you are an aunt. My niece is 12 yrs old & just finished batteling her SECOND bout with cancer (she was only 8 yrs old the 1st time). Yesterday we spent the day together, just the 2 of us making your coffee filter flowers. We had so much fun! Thank you peaches for helping me have a wonderful day with my neice!

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  42. I have a lot of ideas running through my mind to use these flowers - they are great.

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  43. thank you so much. been searching for paper flower ideas for my wedding. yours is the most helpful. going to try this. thank you!

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  44. I love your story about roses; I can't wait to start making them. They are beautiful and creative. Look so real.

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  45. I am so eternally grateful for finding your site. I spent hours on youtube the other day, searching for paper flowers and settled for some so-so looking ones. Then I somehow mucked about and found you...and I am so thrilled. I have found exactly what I wanted!! I made a whole lot of coffee filter pink flowers yesterday, but now that I have found these roses, I am going to make them, too. And how I love to read your words!! Usually I skim-skip all the bloggy stuff, but you are so funny I like to die. I can't wait to share your 50-pairs of black socks rant with my daughter who has so much ManTrouble!! She really needs a fresh perspective! All in all I am just so grateful to have found you and please never stop this site!! Thank you.

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  46. Can't wait to try! I am decorating for a Girls' Retreat at my church and had been looking for inexpensive flowers. This is perfect. And when the retreat is over the girls can take them home as a memento of the event!

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  47. These are the most beautiful flowers!! I am so excited to make them. What girl doesn't like roses. Thank you for the tutorial. I showed my granddaughter and she agreed that these were the most beautiful roses and we cant wait to craft together. Thanks for sharing. You are an inspiration!

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  48. I'm wondering how you make the really big roses with the giant coffee filters. Wouldn't using more coffee filters just make it really wide? But not tall? Do you cut the filters differently? I'm wanting to make some really big flowers for my wedding

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    1. I don't know if I understand the question -- but the large filter = large spiral = large flower. If you keep the width of the spiral the same as smaller ones, yes, it would just come out narrow.

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