God Bless Missouri

Two Words: Frozen Custard.
If you have never tried it, that probably means you are not from the Midwest.

And that means it has to suck to be you right now.

In truth, I believe frozen custard is officially considered a Coney Island export…but I have been to Coney Island twice and never saw the stuff. In Missouri, however, they serve it everywhere but the the bathtub.  It’s a regional summertime favorite and the good people of Missouri are kind enough to share the love all over middle America.  Why the coasts, Canada and Mexico haven’t caught on, beats me. Poor suckers don’t know what they are missing.
Hear me out. I understand when some regional delicacies fail to gain wide-spread popularity (I’m looking at you, Cincinnati Chili)…but frozen custard is, well, it’s pretty much the best kept secret we have going. It’s like ice cream but better. Thicker. Tangier. Apparently it is also slightly more healthful than regular ice cream, or at least that is what I tell myself when my self-discipline is waning…
   You really shouldn’t indulge today – you had salad dressing with lunch and didn’t exercise or walk hardly anywhere at all today. 
Then again—you also didn’t take your vitamins this morning and custard rich in nutrients. It’s practically health food! 
   On the other hand—it’s loaded with sugar and butterfat. 
Then again – it’s better to indulge with a small amount of something really wonderful than go home and bury your head in a six-pack box 100 calorie Snackwell cookies that you don’t even like in the first place. 
   On the other hand….

Oh phuck it already. Quit talking to yourself in the third person and eat the custard.

PS: Did you know frozen custard tastes better on a green spoon?

Comments

  1. violicious says

    i grew up in southern illinois near mo. and am shocked that my husband has never had frozen custard (he is from boston). it is truly the only ‘ice cream’ worth eating thanks for the post!

  2. Abee says

    Yuck!, that’s cruel – peaching this bless of Missouri in the most mouthwatering terms. and not providing any recipe for your poor far-from-any-west-or-east-coast readers! :(

  3. Geri says

    Okay, I give up. Why did you credit Missouri with frozen custard? I mean, so kind and all. . .I love frozen custard, too. I live in KCMO and we have Foos Frozen Custard with the most unreadable chalkboard menu of custard creations around. Thanks, Peaches!

  4. PeachesFreund says

    See, here is the thing; because I live in the midwest I have no cause to make it myself. It is everywhere, especially in the summer. I’m sure there are recipes but I would not be able to recommend on any good authority. Maybe someone reading this does, though?

  5. PeachesFreund says

    Oy. I had it five-way one time and the heartburn nearly killed me. I was rolling around in my bus seat the whole way back to Chicago. Never again! That stuff is crazy.

  6. PeachesFreund says

    Hmmm….I’ll have to look it up. We don’t have anything like that at all over here (at least not that I know of).

  7. PeachesFreund says

    No way?! In Worchester? Black raspberry sounds heavenly right about now. That’s a good point about the cone, though. Who knows what was on that counter. Rebellion!

  8. PeachesFreund says

    For realz? You must have a secret way to serve it. I don’t see it catching on but I wish you luck! Cookie for effort!

  9. PeachesFreund says

    Yes — around here it’s usually “concrete” style. Although, I had it soft serve style at a county fair once and it was pretty darn good. I’ll have to schedule in some Kohr’s custard next time I am out east! (or — the RightCoast — haha :)

  10. PeachesFreund says

    Those are some fightin’ words, my friend! Nowhere locals sells chocolate peanut butter chocolate…I might need to see this in person.

  11. Cindy Dangles says

    OK so I’m in California and there are somethings we just don’t have, (like a kitchen – where is it?). So how do you make Frozen Custard? In an Ice Cream maker? What flavors are your favorites.

  12. ajp2020 says

    Tracylee is right! There is a place right here in town that makes frozen custard. How about that. I’ll have to check it out and see how it tastes compared to my fav chocolate ice cream….

  13. Fil says

    The Dutch have a dessert called Vla – it’s like cold custard in a milk carton!! Sounds disgusting, but it is absolutely gorgeous – proper comfort food …. but I’m trying to figure out now how to freeze it to see what you’re talking about. Hmmmm?

  14. tracylee says

    we have frozen custard joints in NC!
    didn’t realize it was possible to send a hankering through the internet, but my friend.. you have. pretty sure I’m going to make a detour on my way home from work :)

  15. nutbirds says

    My father used to sell, and maybe make? frozen custard at the Sunshine Dairy in Worcester MA in the late 1930’s. I remember in the 50’s we used to take Sunday drives and drive to dairies in the suburbs and I would always get Black Raspberry ice cream. My mom would get maple walnut, my dad frozen pudding – which was like rum raisin but better. I never paid any attention to my brothers. If we ever got a flat bottom cone, my father wouldn’t let us eat the bottom because it rested on the counter where the money was. When I went to college, the first thing I did was eat the bottom.

  16. J Hill says

    Alright, my Chicago friend. If you want the best frozen custard of all, take a drive up to Milwaukee to one of the three Kopp’s Custard locations. You can check online to get their flavor of the day. I recommend making the trip for Chocolate Peanut Butter Chocolate or Caramel Cashew, but really you can’t go wrong with any of them. Best. Custard. Ever.

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