Photoshop: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

I’m not good at giving gifts. 
Look, it’s not that I don’t try. I do. It’s just that I tend to make or buy things that I think the recipient needs; fingernail cufflinks… a leopard bathrobe…a gift certificate to the Jamaican beauty supply store. Granted, I am absolutely right, the recipient would indeed benefit from such things. But do they actively want such things? Perhaps, not so much.

To combat this problem I have taken to the gift of Photoshop. Fact is, I am pretty good at using Photoshop software. I can say that without conceit because my talent is limited in scope. Very limited. Useful skills like airbrushing or batch processing—nope. Imposing cat faces on 1980’s hair bands—yup.

 
This skill came to me as the result of a brief college internship in the photo archives at a well known magazine. I won’t say the name but it started with Play and ended with Boy. And before you ask, no I never dealt with naked people.  Skin grafting birthmarks of off centerfolds—nope. Etching in hair plugs on Gore Vidal—yup.

Since I don’t get to use my Photoshoping skills much these days, I take it out on my friends and loved ones. For example…

Neil and Lola. You may have seen this last summer. Lola was pasted into a photo of Neil and it hangs in my dining room portrait gallery. Everybody who comes over asks about it.  

How’d you get Neil Diamond to pose with your cat? Can you hire him for parties? Can I get him on my Christmas Card?

Today, January 24th, is Neil’s birthday. So we took him off the wall and set him down for cake and kitty time. 
Happy birthday Neil!

Speaking of wonderful people born on Jan 24, my friend Amy (aka Mod Podge Amy) has a dog Roxie who loves Star Wars. Okay, maybe it’s Amy who likes Star Wars. But Roxie and Yoda are like twins. The resemblance is staggering.

Happy birthday Amy!

My friend Kelly‘s birthday was back in September. Given the fact that this is the Kelly who once made me a flamingo dressed as Pippi Longstocking, this needed to be special. Kelly loves Hall & Oates (pardon my redundancy, I mean, everyone loves Hall & Oates) and since her maiden name is Ott, well, this just needed to happen….

Do you have a weird talent that comes in handy for birthdays? Caricatures? Custom limericks? Astrology forecasting? Custom cakes shaped like feet?  Do tell…
 

Comments

  1. JillHolly says

    I used to have something of a talent for forging documents. (I never used it on anything really illegal. Mostly just notes to get out of work and stuff.) But this raises all kinds of interesting possibilities….

  2. Kara DeCarlo says

    I read tarot cards for birthdays. And usually bake something: cookies, cake, pie. And bring a bottle of hooch, cuz we like to par-tay.

  3. Jl Baloch says

    LoL loved your post. I have this weird knack of remembering the oddest stuff about people, then when its time for gifts, I look for whatever fits that odd thing about them. So far I have done pretty darn good with gift giving.

  4. Nicki Soller says

    Fun read!! Photoshop… my favorite toy! As a matter of fact, I named my fledgling sister blog to CMI “PhotoStop” (PS)… a little play on words and a place to start putting my overflow of pics. Every picture doesn’t always tell the REAL story, eh Peaches??!!

  5. says

    Oh! My! Goodness! I bet Disney is having their cadre of lawyers drawing up the paperwork now! Roxie makes Yoda look so good they are going to want you to air brush all the old film and the’ll want Roda , stage name,? for the new ones!

  6. Carol Sorensen says

    Oh my god,I totally need to learn Photoshop. My sisterwife and I (we have an imaginary marriage to Aidan Turner, as written by Tobey Whithouse) need some wedding pictures done. For her birthday, I made her a card, wrapping paper and loaded a digital picture frame with pics of Aidan. I feel I can tell you, as you will understand…right?

  7. PeachesFreund says

    I just googled Aidan Turner…that is one sexy piece of man meat. You might need to make space for sister wife #3. NO, really.

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