Wonder Woman

Today is the day after Labor Day, which in my day, was always the first day of the new school year. Coincidently, it is my first day of self-employment. It is now 6:30am, and traditionally, right about now, I’d be getting ready to go to work after a long weekend. But today I sit here […]

Nice Lady

Dear Nice Lady Sitting In Front of Me on the 5:35pm Metra Commuter Train, Hi. I’m the one sitting in the row behind you pretending to be listening to my earbuds but I’m not because I’m a creepy and listening to you. Haaay! I see you are here with your daughter. Gosh, you guys look […]

Pinata Theory

This week is kicking my ass. I’m clogged. Not overwhelmed or exhausted, just clogged. Teetering between waiting, then a mad rush for progress, then waiting, then rushing then waiting. Not to worry though, I have devoted much of my chunkletts of waiting time to very busy and important things (read: Pinterest), and coming up with […]

Valentines Day at the Movies. With Angst.

So, last week I sat down to do a round-up post of cool Valentine stuff I saw on Pinterest– paper hearts, pink and red greeting cards, a cake topper featuring Fabio on horseback (What? Who? Me? Never.)…you know. The usual. But then I saw this thing. It bugged me. This pin, this photo, was a […]

Happy Weekend

Y’all know what this is? Tulip fields. In Holland. It’s all springy and rainbow. Meanwhile, we are here freezing here and those Dutch bastards are living in skittles. I hate that. Interesting fact; did you know more flowers were cut this week than in the rest of the year combined?* It’s true. Valentines prep. They […]

Guest Post: Team USA’s Winter Olympic Sweater

On January 23rd, the United States Olympic Committee and the Ralph Lauren Corporation unveiled the official Team USA 2014 Winter Olympic uniforms on NBC’s Today Show. Reviews have been unkind at best. Criticism directed toward the centerpiece of the outfit, a patchwork all-American made cardigan, has been especially harsh.   Understandably, the sweater would like to […]

Happy Birthday, America

Ammmmmmerrrrricccca!!!!! Girl, you crazy bitch. How are you?! We haven’t seen each other in…what?…No…Has it been? Well you know me, I never miss a birthday. Happy birthday Girl!  How old are you again? …WHAT! Damn, you do not look your age at all. Two-hundred and thirty seven? Crap. That is olllllld. Is it the botox? […]

Progress: The Best Excuse for Day Drinking.

I had a post already set to go today but I’m skipping it because I’m busy with important stuff. I’m doing three things today… One. I’m having a glass of champagne to celebrate the thousands of American couples whose marriages will be recognized as legal. Finally. Two. I’m making a donation to Wendy Davis, the […]

Happy Feet

Here’s a bit I’ll share. Razor blade pedicures. It’s my thing. You go to the tiny back-alley salon, take off your socks, sit back in the chair and sheepishly apologize because they look so gross.  You say, “I’m sorry I let them get this bad. Ewwww! ” and she’s like “No problem, Dawg.” and pulls […]