Autumn

Pimp My Gourd

Now is as good of a time as any to tell you that I watch ice dancers on youtube late at night and sometimes I get really angry that they are not wearing enough bling. I mean, the hell? If you can’t count on ice-effing-dancers to hold down the sequin quota, who can you count on? Nobody. That’s who. It used to be the Russian contingency could always be counted on to festoon themselves in sparkles (that’s what 80 years of communism will do to a nation) but now they have all gone tasteful too. I blame Vera Wang.

Anyway. Now that the weather is cooler and it’ll be another three winters ‘til I get a decent round of icecapades, I turn my eyes to the humble bounties of the Midwest: gourds.

Here in Illinois, gourds are easy to find. Just about anywhere that sells pumpkins will sell some sort of gooseneck gourd situation. Home Depot sells small ones for a buck, and big ones for $10. Important side note: my local Home Depot also keeps a shelter cat in their greenhouse named Xena The Warrior Princess, so you know they are good people. So that’s why I buy my gourds from them. Last year I spray painted a bunch of them gold, then I let them set out in a box on my sun porch all winter thinking they would dry out and by this fall the gourds would be nice and dry. But you know what happened? One of the gourds went rotten and instead of drying it just melted over the other gourds and one day I opened the box and was like a car accident. A big, moldy, wet fart smelling car accident. So. That’s my way of saying I do not suggest you dry your own gourds. Unless you have a nice cool/dark place you can dry them without touching each other. But that’s not me. Where was I? Oh yeah, gourds.

If you have the patience to dry your own gourds for decorating next year, by all means, be an over achiever like that. I found mine on clearance at Crate & Barrel for $3 (another advantage to living in Illinois: the Crate & Barrel Factory Outlet) but you can also buy them online from farmers like this guy.

If you wanted to make these I’m guessing you pretty much know what you’ll need.

-Dried Gourds
-Rhinestones*
-Tacky Glue*
-White and/or Gold Sharpies**
-Gold glitter sparkle glue paint***

*Note on rhinestones. There are a lot of things in life I know very little about, but cheap rhinestone isn’t one of them. If you are looking to buy/use/hoard acrylic gems, the best bargain is this one pound bag from Michael’s online, courtesy of Darice. My local store sells some smaller grab bags of crystal-rhinestone-thingies, and they are great, but if you want some bang for your buck, this is it. It comes in a giant jumble bag, which I like, but if you don’t, sorting rhinestones by color is oddly soothing. It’s also a great way to occupy a squirrely kid for an hour or two. This bag runs for $15 online, but if you use one of their 40% coupons it runs less than $10. Ten bucks for a pound of happy is a good deal.

** Note on Tacky Glue. I don’t know why anyone bothers to use any other kind of glue. Just don’t. Tacky glue is THICK. And it holds stuff. And it dries clear overnight. Rhinestones deserve a firm glue. They deserve it!

***Note on White/Gold sharpies. There are a lot of good paint pens on the market, but to write on a gourd it will need to have a felt tip or the nib will get gooked up writing over the textured surface, especially if you purchase the gourd and it’s oiled. No water-based ink is going to stick. Sharpies are the best/cheapest/most effective.

***Note on gold glitter sparkle paint. I’m insane for the Scribbles brand of gold glitter puff paint. Actually, I shouldn’t call it puff paint because it doesn’t puff. It dries flat, but, the density of the glitter is much higher than other brands. You’ll find very similar glitter paints/glues in any given craft store, but the Scribbles packs a lot more punch. I use it on lot’s of projects just as tiny little dots like putting tinsel on a Christmas tree. It adds an extra layer of depth and sparkle. And it’s cheap, so you know I love it.

I like to snake a line of the gold glitter all over the surface like a snail trail or something (see wet blobs above). You’d think they’d be glittery enough without it, but no, they really need that extra punch. Trust me.

These gourds joined some of the rest of my Liberace pumpkins from previous years. Weirdly, I can’t find half my Liberace pumpkins right now, so you every well might see them making an appearance come Christmas. I don’t think Jesus will mind.

Note the giant rhinestone sugar skull on the right. I found an awesome new secret indigent on that one. Stay tuned.

PS: Further reading, unrelated yet very awesome; Collin Nissan’s “It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Mothef@ckers.”

Paintchip Seating Card Display for Under $10

by PEACHES 4 Comments

I’m closing down at my last week of work. Woot! I’m feeling a little bit nostalgic today, and seeing as it is Throwback Thursday, let’s throwback to a year ago this week, to my friends John and Noeleen’s wedding.

Noeleen and I have a lengthy history sorting out event nametags and seating assignments, so it was appropriate that I helped her out with her seating card table. Do you recognize where these came from?

Paintchips. Over 80 shades of coral and pink – her wedding colors. This concept was loosly based on this yellow art piece featuring 1,200 names for yellow I made several years back (more throwback!)…AND it harkens forward to the art piece we made last month for John and Noeleen’s living room (you can see that over at Queen Latifah).

For the base, I just double stick taped a couple of pieces of white foam board, then ran around the edges with some striped washi tape. Dressmaker pins, a gold Sharpie, and desktop easel and whamo: an awesome seating card display for under $10. Not bad.

Happy anniversary to John and Noeleen!

Dear Turd Burglar

by PEACHES 6 Comments

Dear Turd Burglar,

Look at you.

More important, look at what you have become.

You have elevated yourself to the rank of persons who steal craft goods.

Not cash. Not guns. Not electronics. No TB, you went for the win and used your dark talents to snag a decorative autumnal wreath. I know what you were thinking; Wait ’til the fellas down at the pawn shop get a load of this!

That must have felt good.

Well TB, do you know how I feel?

Well, I’ll tell you. Flattered. I am flattered that you took a shine to my creation.

You know, I was rather fond of that wreath too. Not to brag or anything, but it was made two years ago using an old garland and a hoola hoop. In fact, I posted directions right here. You should feel free to check them out and make your own.

Perhaps, when you are done making your own, you could un-burgal my wreath and put it back where you found it: hanging on my door.

Thanks!

Aunt Peaches

Tie-Dyeing for Formal Dining

by PEACHES 5 Comments

There are so many reasons I love setting the table for an autumn feast: Thanksgiving, Rosh Hashanah, breaking the fast for Yom Kipur, Autumnal Solstice, International Talk Like a Pirate Day, Be Bald and Free Day… the list goes on.

Here, I decided to set up a formal dinner party for Halloween. A small, spooky gathering is a great way to feel festive without everyone feeling obligated to don a full costume or sit on the porch handing out candy in the cold. Then after dinner everyone can crash on the couch for apple cobbler and a scary movie. Now doesn’t that sound good?

OK, let’s start by setting the table. It all hinges on the table cloth and today I am making my own. Saddle up, this one is going to be fun!

When I initially signed on to do a sponsored post with Rit dye, I thought I would demonstrate a new way to use the dye like a funky costume or some outdoor decoarations, but after thinking about it, instead I decided to show a new way to display everyone’s favorite way to use fabric: tie dye.

Autumn is the perfect time of year to break out the tie dye. Tell me you don’t see where I am going here…

Okay, let’s get the elephant out of the room and talk about tie dye. Because tie dye gets a bad rap. People (some people) think is garish and weird. Or, as my father called it “beardy weirdy.” Which was also slang for “hippie dippy.”

Yes, tie dye is beloved by Phish loving hippies the world over, bless them, but it’s also beloved by people who know a good thing when they see it.

Me? I love to use tie dye as an active neutral. Something that goes with everything. Other active neutrals include black and white stripes, moss green, navy blue, thick silver sequins, Scotch tartan, and my personal favorite: leopard. These are colors and patterns you can add to a composition to bring all the other elements together. A common thread. Tie dye is an excellent active neutral. Especially on a dining table set with jumbled components.

See, I have a lot of nice things in my house, but a big matching formal dining set just isn’t one of them. Do I care? No. Why? Because I know I can always pull things together with an active neutral. Like tie dye!

Yup. I use disposable paper products for formal dining. Mind blown.

For this set up, the only special purchases were the black “poison” paper plates ($2.50 at Target) and some white pumpkins (2 for $1.00 at the farmers market). Everything else is from my everyday cupboard. Plain white china, plain wine glasses, melamine polka-dot plates from Target (another active neutral), some red leaf glasses I bought at Goodwill, and oodles of candles. The good silver was a gift from my friend Ann, but beyond that, nothing on the table falls in the “special occasion” category. I’m even using outdoor patio chairs. But, put them all together on a tie dye background and they sure do look gussied up! If I had done this set this all on a white table cloth it would have been totally Snoozeville. Tie dye is the trick.

Bonus: Sloppy dinner guests? Tie dye hides stains like nothing else. Score!

Before showing you how to make this, I want to say two things:

It is really hard to take pictures while wearing rubber gloves.
There are endless varieties of colors and patterns you can achieve with various tie-dye techniques. Rit has great information about this online. Consult with them and the directions on the package for specifics, but I can assure you it is easier than you think. Just don’t let yourself get hooked on a visual in your mind before you start the process. Embrace the unpredictable.

Materials

One cotton flat sheet
Half a bottle of Tangerine Rit Fabric Dye
Half a bottle of Scarlet Rit Fabric Dye
20 rubber bands
Salt
One large pot of simmering hot water

Okay, let’s get started…

Dye Bath (Follow directions on your box depending on your garment, below is what I used)

In an old pot on the stove, I mixed one quart of simmering water with half a bottle of dye, plus half a cup of salt. I stirred for a minute, then turned off the heat and dipped my big wad of fabric, starting with the lightest color first.

This part is hard to demo in pictures so I photoshopped a black and white photo with pink and orange to help illustrate (see above, does it help?). The gist of it is that I dipped the top half of the wadded up sheet in orange dye, let it sit there for a couple of minutes, then lipped it over and dipped the bottom half in red dye. I knew red would be the hardest color to achieve with fabric dye, so I let it set in there for a couple of hours. Then I rinsed it out with cold water in the sink, then threw it into the washing machine with the teensiest bit of soap. Cold water cycle, rubber bands still on there. When the wash was done I removed the rubber bands and threw it in the dryer on the hottest setting (heat helped set the color and thicken the cotton sheet a little).

I love it. It came out a little lighter than I expected, but I love it just the same. It looks both autumnal and spring like. Now I can use it year round. Toot toot!

If I wanted to go back in time and hold out for deeper reds and oranges, I probably would have used whole bottles dye (instead of half) and let the fabric set in the pot overnight. Maybe that pinch of washing detergent was a no-no. Oh well, I don’t care, ’cause I love it!

Side note: You like the autumnal tree centerpiece? It matches, right? I know. I tossed a few coffee filters in the leftover dye baths, then I cut out leaves and hot glued them to an old branch. See my cherry blossom tree for directions.

Side note 2: You like the pedestal bowl? It’s made from one of those plastic pumpkin head trick-or-treat buckets they sell everywhere. Click here to see how it was made two years ago.

I love a generously sized tablecloth, but the sheet was just too big. As long as I was tearing off the excess, I decided to make napkins from the scraps.

Note, I said tear.

Just snip an inch then yank the fabric apart on a straight line– if the fibers are natural they will leave a nice frayed looking raw edge. You might have to pull a few loose threads, but it beats hemming all those edges. Granted, if I was planning on using these things more than a couple times a year, I would probably hem the edges. But I’m happy as is, raw edges and all. If William Sonoma can sell raw edge napkins for $8.00 a pop, so can I.

I love folding napkins. It’s my secret talent.

Oops. I guess it’s not so secret anymore.

For the Halloween table, I set out some wax paper spider web luminarias.

My favorite expression; Candles are like panty hose for your house, they make everything look good.

Happy Halloween!

*Note: I wrote this post as part of a paid campaign for RIT Dye and Blueprint Social. All opinions are my own. I have been buying Rit dye in the laundry isle of my local grocery store for 20+ years and have always been pleased with the results. If you have never tried fabric dye at home, I suggest you grab some rubber gloves and a bottle (or box) or Rit. Prepare to be amazed! For more information about RIT Dye, check them out on facebook, twitter, and pinterest.

Let’s Get Leafy

by PEACHES 17 Comments

It’s fall y’all.

…or autumn y’all.

…or pumpkin latte season at Starbucks y’all.

Let’s embrace it.

Let’s get leafy.

If you have followed this blog for a while you might recognize this project. It’s a lot like the valentine garland I hung up last February. It was supposed to come down by March but I liked it so much I let it hang up year round. Which is really just a nice way of saying I was too lazy to take it down, so okay, you got me, my butt is a lazy one. Revelation I think not.

I like this project because 1. It was 100% free, and 2. I can leave it hanging September to November, and even after that it can stay on display in my pantry window or some corner of the house that doesn’t need to look all seasonally fancified.

I know someone is going to have a fit because I’m promoting the use of plastic bags, so let me get this out of the way: I double dog pinky-swear to you that I own a hundred reusable bags and use them on a regular basis. They just don’t always come with me when I need them. They sit at home all day watching Sister/Sister marathons on off-network cable. If they don’t show up when and where I need them, it cannot be helped. So sometimes, just sometimes, I resort to using plastic bags. I already feel guilty about the matter so please, oh please, EASE UP ALREADY.

OK.

Now let’s get back to the pretty parts 🙂

Materials:

15 Plastic grocery bags (5 will get painted, 10 will remain unpainted)
latex paint
electric iron
parchment paper
tin foil
sewing machine (or needle and thread)

If there is a stereotype about women refusing to read directions and only looking at the pictures, I am walking confirmation. I hate following complicated directions. Hate. It. First, I have unfold the damn paper like it’s some old-timey road map to Jellystone National Park. ThenI have to find the half-way point where I can skip to because, obviously, I am superior and know all the pre-cursor steps involved. Thennnnn I get tired of that so I just skip to the pictures (that’s pretty much my life motto: skip to the pictures).

So, with that in mind, I am going to try to demo this project with just photos and captions.

To start out, take 15 plastic bags and paint the inside of 5 of them

When the paint is dry, trim of the bag handles and the bottoms.

To fuse the plastic together, sandwich the painted bags in-between the non-painted bags, then sandwich that in between parchment paper. The thickness of the plastic bags will determine the thickness of your leaves. Personally, I like 6 layers of plastic Target bags (=3 target bags total), but you could do this with twice that many if you wanted super thick leaves. Your sewing machine might not like them that thick, but we will get to that in a minute.

Iron it flat using slow circular motions. Give it a few seconds to rest, then peel off the parchment paper. The end result should look and feel like a giant plastic potato chip.

Cut leaf shapes shapes. You can trace. I free formed. ‘Cuz I’m ballsy like that.

Cut strips of old tissue paper roughly 2″ wide and as long as you want your garland strips to hang.

Allow for 10″ of thread, then begin sewing a line down the tissue. After a few inches, insert one leaf. Sew several more inches, then randomly insert another leaf.You could follow a pattern, but if the nice thing about autumn is how lush and random everything looks. Embrace the randomness!

Note: If you do not have a sewing machine you could do this by laying your leaves out in a row and laying a glue-drenched piece of cotton string across them. It will take two days to dry, and won’t look as pretty from the back, but who cares?

Use your fingers to tear away the tissue paper. Tip 1: The smaller the stitches the cleaner the tear. Tip 2: tear away from the thread instead of tugging side-to-side.

Use simple knots to tie it to a tension rod.

Shazam. That’s it!

The sun filters through the layers of paint and plastic in a way that my camera cannot capture. It’s nothing less than spectacular.

Hang them behind a curtain and they make the niftiest shadows.

Let me know if you have any questions. I hope to see these hanging in your window soon!

Fun with Birch Bark

by PEACHES 5 Comments

High winds and a recent cold snap have ruffled up the bark on my neighborhood birch trees. It’s gorgeous. I can’t get enough of it.

The bark is every bit as beautiful as the foliage, and best of all, it peels off like paper! Honestly, you can grab yourself a hunk of birch bark and write your grocery list on it. Try it! The clerk at the check out line will look at you like you are crazy, but let’s face it, the holidays are here and you probably are kinda crazy. So let’s have fun with it 🙂

In addition to grocery lists, birch bark can be a great material for making art projects or dressing up your table. Here, I just hot glued to an empty ice cream bucket and Ta Da it’s a rustic vase for a Thanksgiving centerpiece! Or glue on to cardboard paper towel tubes and you have some nifty new napkin rings. What about pictures frames? Or candle sticks? Or Christmas ornaments? The possibilities are endless!

Remember: Only grab the loose bark off the birch trees. Don’t damage the tree by leaving big bald patches all over the trunk. That’s not nice!

Tip: Birch bark carry dust and teensy weensy bugs. Generally nothing to worry about, but if you are going to use it on something used near food service, I suggest you dunk your loose bark pieces in a big bowl of water with a cap full of bleach, then let it dry out before gluing to your surface container. I used this all over a table service a few years ago and never noticed a problem, but you can never be too safe with it comes to tree critters.

Tip: Birch bark will eventually dry out and crack. To enfuse durability, soak your part pieces in a mixture of 3 parts water to 1 part Mod Podge (matt finish) or Acrylic Matt Medium for 1 hour, then use regular white glue to adhere to your your base. It’s messy but that sucker will last for years!

Thanks, Rats!

by PEACHES 17 Comments

Look what I found…

Took out the garbage this weekend and do you know what I found? The most extraordinary turquoise and purple berries. Aren’t they wonderful?

Y’all, I swear to you these images are not photoshoped. This is the real deal. They are turqoise and purple. Now, when was the last time you saw a turquoise and purple plant? If you can identify another plant that simultaneously blooms/or/blossoms/or/berries turquoise and purple, I’ll send you a box of paper flowers (no kidding here folks, I have twelve tons of paper flowers and sincerely want to know if there is more of this stuff out there. Let’s trade!)

The vine appears to originate right from the crack between my back fence and the garbage cans in the alley. Can you believe that? Well you know I hopped on to do some internet research quick and found out they are Porcelian Berries, and are considered to be, get this: a weed.

A weed? Seriously? How could anything so beautiful be considered a weed?

So I called my friend Nancy who knows about these things, who confirmed, yes, they are invasive and undesirable, and no they are not unusual. Nancy also told me that, this time of year, urban alleys like mine are the best places to find exotic berry vines.

Apparently rats are the ones spreading all the fun around…they eat the berries and scamper away, only to, ahem, “release” the berries out the other end while foraging for garbage in the alley. She said the vines will sprout and thrive in the alley for years before anyone bothers to try and hack them down. In some cases, they may even grow into free-standing bushes and trees like the beautiful orange and red ones below. Well you know, the second she said that I had to go back out in the alley and take a look for myself.

She was right. There were berries everywhere. Blue ones, red ones, fat ones, tiny ones, and even some orange cherry looking things. I always knew there were plenty of vines crawling up the fences, but never took the time to walk around in the autumn to look for berries. Man, what have I been missing? And to think it’s all on account of the rats.

Thanks, Rats!

Look whats growing up my alley telephone pole! Grapes!!!

Autumn Wreath 2010

by PEACHES 11 Comments

Can you spot Lola? Her autumnal camouflage is seamless!

Tomato Red & Turquoise, Oh My!

Sweater weather is here and I couldn’t be happier. Mother Nature has turned my little tree lined street into a beautiful, golden riot of color. Mother Nature will never be outdone but I can certainly do my part to color coordinate!

My apartment is on the ground floor of a busy street, right in the middle of the city. Upside: there is always something to look at out the window. Downside: Bars on my windows. Solution: hang stuff on the bars!

It gives people something to look while walking the dog or running to the train. Plus, Lola appreciates the attention, as she sits in the window most of the day while I’m gone. I swear, she is just like a supermodel with fur.

Get yourself a nice autumnal leaf garland. You know, the raggedy one in you keep in the garage. Yeah, that one.
Spray paint the leaves, preferably something with a gloss finish. The paint will look nice, but more important, it will provide a smooth surface for painting by hand later on.
Wrap the garland around a hoola hoop and remove 80% of the larger leaves from the garland. Just yank them off, no need to be gentle here. Leave a few on the vine for texture, especially the small ones that might be difficult to paint.
PAINT YOUR LEAVES! This is the fun part, especially with kids involved. When the kids realize that each leaf feeds into a larger project, they are less likely to be precious about their results (read: even older kids who always say “but mine won’t turn out good” will be inclined to pitch in). But heck, it’s really fun without kids too. Mindless, tiny painting projects like this are very therapeutic for us big kids too 🙂 I use regular acrylic paint from the craft store. It is surprisingly durable, even outdoors.
Favorite Trick, aka “Khaki Pants for the Painterly”...Whenever I have project with a riot of color or texture, I like to add a “neutralizing pattern” to harmonize the color pallet. Black and white stripes are a whimsical classic, but there are plenty of others…navy with white polka dots or gray and beige herringbone are two of my favorites, or, some prefer textural tones like burlap or copper tone metallics….the list goes on. Here, I just used Elmer’s glue to attach to some silk leaves, but you could certainly use paint or paper too.
Hot glue the leaves directly to the hoola hoop and TA DA you are done!

Happy Autumn Y’all!

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Autumn