1. They did not invite me.
2. It took place in France and thereby was automatically stylish.
3. It is not normal for two people to be this beautiful, let alone this beautiful together. In matrimony. In France. So annoying.
4. They sold the photo rights for $2million to benefit charitable organizations.
5. Jennifer Aniston seems okay with this now so we can quit being pissed off on her behalf.
6. Angelina wore a wedding veil embroidered with her children’s drawings.
Let’s be real: that last one is really the only one worth talking about. Look at this!
Now, I know there are those who enjoy making snide comments about other people’s wedding garb (because clearly, brides need to consider other people’s opinions on their appearance on their wedding day) (that’s me being sarcastic) (that’s also me being judgmental about judgmental people at weddings) (but I digress) so lets be clear about the facts: THIS IS RAD. All kinds of awesome. How cool to incorporate her children into such a special garment. How awesome must it have been for those kids to see their art so treasured by their mother that she had it emblazoned on a veil and worn over Versace.
This design makes me like Donatella Versace almost as much as the time she took the ice bucket challenge, oily beefcakes included, and screamed like an old coyote.
She even nominated Prince. It’s just like that Saturday Night Live skit but it was real. Real.
This is so meta I can’t take it.
Congrats to Brad and Angie!