I used to work for a woman who would bring her Kindergarten aged son into the office on occasion. He was one of those unusually well-behaved kids who was happy to play by himself in the corner most of the time. Trucks. Cars. Dinosaurs. Truck driving dinosaurs. Truck driving office supplies. It was pretty cool.
One day when his toys were gone and the truck driving staplers had all fallen off a cliff and exploded, I sat down on the ground and we colored together.
I drew a sunrise, a house, and a cat.
He drew his dog, a car and rainbow, most of which looked like spaghetti and meatballs…and then he drew me. Holding something.
It took me a minute to recognize it. He didn’t have it in him to draw my feet or hands or nose, but a can with red stripes? He got that part perfectly.
“Dylan, why did you draw that?”
“Because you always have it.”
I am breaking up with Diet Coke.
It is the first thing I reach for each morning and the last thing I consume each night, but that is all over now. I could ramble on about the one hundred reasons why I am giving it up, or the research involved, or the months I have been thinking about it, the times I tried before and failed, but this isn’t that kind of blog. And if there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s someone telling me what I can or can’t or should or shouldn’t do with my body, so I am not going to do that to you.
Many of the people I see every day read this blog. Most of them are now saying “How is she going to do that? I’ve never seen her without a Diet Coke in her first. Will her hand fall off?”
This is a legitimate concern. And I don’t know what the outcome will be. But I do know, if you see me, I am counting on you to brow beat me with a wet noodle if you see me even thinking about a Diet Coke.
Research says that one of the most effective ways to overcome an addiction is to tell everyone you know about your struggle, that way, you will feel guilt AND humiliation if they see you falling back in bad habits. So that’s fun.
So, here I am, in the most public forum I have, proclaiming my Diet Coke days are done. We are so over! I am not going to say we will never see each other again, but our relationship has ended for good. If there was a Taylor Swift song to commemorate this breakup, I would insert the youtube video below. As is, I’ll settle for a broody hipster quote graphic.
Anyone else out there have any luck overcoming a serious soda addiction? I’m all ears. Just please don’t suggest that horsecarp “Drink lots of water!” Because I am here to tell you, ten days in to this thing, water is not cutting it. Soooooooo NOT cutting it.