There is this thing called bleach dyeing that is all the rage. Or, at least it was all the rage. I’m not sure where it is in the current trend cycle, but when I woke up early Saturday morning with a desperate need for patterned curtains in my living room, it was a means to an end. Have you seen bleach dyeing? It sorta looks like that time your mom spilled bleach on your favorite black sweatshirt, but this time it’s on purpose. Some people splatter it on their jeans, some people draw it on with a bleach pen, and some people take a reverse-tie-dye approach – that was me. I had two sets of dark eggplant-colored curtains from Ikea. Totally free to me, leftover from a friend’s former apartment (it pays to be a hoarder!). Nice and thick. 100% cotton, too. Perfect for bleaching, right?
This is what I was going for…
This is in process…
Not only did the fabric FREAK OUT, each set of curtains FREAKED OUT in a different way. Yes, same bleach/water solution and the same amount of time. I’m guessing the fabric came from two different dye batches in the first place. Just my luck, right? One came out pink and purple with hardly any markings, one came out yellow with big red splotches all over. I showed this pic from my phone to a friend and asked what color they would use to describe these. Answers…
“ketchup and mustard”
“after the axe murderer”
“a used maxi pad”
So that was fun.
They smell awful. Even after two rounds in the washing machine they can’t come inside. I had to sling them over the back banister just to take this crappy photo. I’m sure the neighbors see this and think I killed someone.
To top it all off, in this glorious process, I think I gave myself a mild case of chlorine poisoning. Awesome. No, for real: I seriously doubt anyone will try this based on my review here, but if you do, do this OUTSIDE ONLY. Working in a sink under an open window with a fan and gloves is not enough. Sooooo not enough. My Diet Coke still tastes like pool water. And if that isn’t a cautionary tale, I don’t know what is.
Woe is the tale of patterned curtain seeker!
To see a more successful bleach dyeing endeavor, click here.