It’s Monday, which is usually the day I round up a bunch of my favorite links from the past week and share here. This week, there is really only one thing on my mind worth talking about: Girl Scout Cookies. Mostly because I don’t have any. This is because, 1. I’m trying to be good and not do things like buying enough cookies to warrant little girls to ask me, “Are you building a fort?” (<<–that really happened) and 2. My so-called-friend who usually tells me when his daughter is selling cookies didn’t tell me (YES I’M LOOKING AT YOU BRENDAN) (AND NO FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES DO NOT COUNT).
Everywhere I go this week, I see people carrying these little over-priced boxes of fudge rippled rainbow happiness. It is maddening. This morning I was driving and I saw a woman with them loaded in her bike basket on her way to work and it occurred to me, for a fleeting moment, that it would not take much effort to knock her bike over with the car. Would I kill her for cookies? No. Of course not. Would I strategically bump the bike thus sending 12 boxes flying out of the basket thus allowing me time to scoop them up and get back in the car before said bike woman was back on her feet? Absolutely. Let’s just take a moment to sit back and admire the strength it took for me to not do that. That’s pretty effing admirable. And yet, despite my admirable restraint, everyone has these cookies BUT ME.
Can you even imagine the horror? The horror. I’m okay with this, but I thought now might be a good time to talk about everything Girl Scout Cookie related that we don’t talk about the rest of the year. It’s a seasonal thing. And people in Canada probably won’t understand so let’s just bundle it all together and get it out of our system, K? K.
Does your dog want too dress up and sell Girl Scout Cookies? Yeah. She does.
Take the quiz: What kind of Girl Scout Cookie are you? PS: I’m a Thin Mint. I knew it!!!
A comprehensive list of beer pairings for Girl Scout Cookies.
Talk about ambition: Congrats to this 11-year-old for hustling her way to selling 18,000 boxes. (Watch the video – Mom looks exhausted).
If you were outside a vintage typewriter shop in Los Altos California last weekend, you could have bought your cookies from Tom Hanks!
Speaking of vintage…interesting fact: In 1942 the Girl Scouts sold calendars instead of cookies because of WWII flour and dairy shortages.
Another fact: for the first 90 days of the year, Girl Scout Cookies are the #1 cookie brand in the USA. Oreos are #1 for the rest of the year.
Another less perky fact: For many years Girl Scout Cookies were made with a controversial ingredient — palm oil. Harvested by major commodity middle-man Cargill, the palm oil used to create Girl Scout Cookies was linked to the destruction of thousands of acres of Indonesian rainforest every year. Good news: after a handful of renegade Girl Scouts recognized the problem (and the whole “make the world a better place” hypocrisy) and demanded change, Girl Scout Cookie adult people listened, made adjustments, and are now are majorly choosy about where they source their ingredients. Way to go, girls!
More good news: Put your zip code in the “Find Cookies” box at the top and it will tell you when a troop near you is selling. This takes out all the serendipitous joy of stumbling into a GSC sale, but this is what it has come to. I have also heard you can buy them online and on Ebay, but you have to go through somebody like you are buying Avon and it’s unnecessarily complicated, which is a lousy way to teach our girls capitalism so I’m keeping it in person.
There is also a recipe for samoa pie that I may or may not be having for breakfast tomorrow.
And while I’m eating it, I may or may not be watching these lost scenes from Troop Beverly Hills!
Now everybody, get on up. It’s cookie time!