So this thing happened this morning wherein I stumbled into this gal’s awesome blog which led me to her equally awesome pinterest page which led me down the rabbit hole to this flaming pile of fierceness:
First of all, can we all just agree that bros before hoes is something that only a bro without a hoe would say?
Second of all, where do I get this wondrous thing and where can I find more of them?
Okay. I know.
Thing is, you don’t buy the finished piece. You buy the kit. Most are under $10 (see more on their website). Excellent Mother’s Day gift, I’m thinking.
So this leads me to the following questions…
- Where the hell is my embroidery hoop?
- Is it really that hard to needlepoint like this? I took Embroidery 101 in home ec (back when they still had home ec classes) and it wasn’t even that hard. I got turned off by the concept because we each had to make a 6” gingham sampler square that was to be sewn into a class quilt for babies in war-torn Bosnia, and the teacher rejected my square away it had a blood spot on it (don’t judge. I washed it first. What? You give needles to children and what do you expect). She made this big point to say IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS that those babies in Bosnia didn’t want no blood quilt, which I thought was a total crap thing for her to say because she just got through telling us people in “the formerly USRSR” were eating “cat and cabbage” just to survive and it seemed to me, ignorant in my youth, that people desperate enough to eat cats and cabbages would probably be okay with a quilt with some teensy mystery spot on it. So that’s just horsecrap. They didn’t need to know it was blood now did they? As an adult I see what’s wrong that statement but as a kid it was deeply hurtful. Turned me rotten on the whole concept of embroidery until this very day. Fuck you, home ec.
- I like the concept of ladies sitting around doing needlepoint. It’s very Jane Austen. Can we make this a trend? The knitting thing is played out. Let’s get a needlepoint trend going.
- Remember that part in Pride and Prejudice where one of the Bingley sisters is all like, “ladies of accomplishment can needlepoint and paint and draw and play piano at the same time” and Darcy was all, “I don’t know any bitches who can do that” and then he looks at Elizabeth knowingly. Or something like that. Yeah. That was good.
- Why don’t they needlepoint on Downton Abbey? Can Julian Fellows work that in the storyline so we can all hashtag that number and get it going? Can somebody reading this in England hook that up? I know you all know each other. Place ain’t even that big. And while we are on the subject of English doings, where do we stand now that Downton has concluded for the season? Let’s talk about this for a sec. Because I for one found the whole Rose Gets a Quinceanera storyline INSUFFERABLE. The hell? I hate her. Are there not enough pretty and interesting women on this show already? Rose. First she is being annoying, then dates the effeminate black dude just to piss off her mother, then she’s being annoying again, then she’s dancing with Prince Edward like she saved the whole damn monarchy by finding his hidden relationship love letter (ummmm…like ol’Eddy was big on putting monarchy before his relationship in real life? Riddle me that one, Julian). And why is Rose getting all the attention when Lady Edith, poor Lady Edith, is made to suffer more than Elizabeth Taylor? Can you even imagine keeping silent and watching your child grow up in the safe harbor of the local hog farmer? BTW: Hog Farmer is awesome. He’s so cool. You could tell he knew the whole time she was talking but didn’t want to rub it in her face. What grace. What dignity. Hog Farmer for mayor!!!!!! Between him and Granny Crab’s hat situation they really got me going, but then, BUT THEN, they have the nerve to put Bates back under the lamp light of suspicion when everybody knows that meat roid valet had it coming. HAD. IT. COMING. And why is Mary getting all high and mighty about not letting dead people deaths lie in peace? I got two words for you, Mary: TURKISH DIPLOMAT. And anyway, who cares who pushed the valet? Justice was served. The end. Speaking of endings – Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes. Let’s have more of that. If they will give me more of that I will get over how they torment Daisy with unrequited love. Even a scullery maid deserves to get her man. You know what I’m sayin, Jullian? Okay. I’ll stop now because my caps lock quota is up for the week, but if someone would like me to tell them what should come next season, holla. I’m available.
- In conclusion: Dead valets are okay and I need an embroidery hoop. Happy Thursday.
PS: Anyone going through Downton Abbey withdrawal might want to consider youtubing The Victorian Garden series. Different vibe altogether but it’ll scratch the itch. Hat tip to my pal Dee for sharing this method of Downton Abbey methadone with me a few years ago. Works every time.
AP, I have been looking for a project for while my man is deployed – I will Totally do a subversive needlepoint. I’m in!
Excellent idea. Get a bald eagle in there – all patriotic. Yeah!
1. Cross-stitch is pretty easy. I used to do it with my mom, Grandma, and Aunts as a kid. I picked it back up a couple of years ago because, like you, I decided it needed to be hip again.
2. I’ve been re-watching Downton Abbey on Amazon streaming (free on Prime…my husband got hooked this season (yay!) and wanted to watch from the beginning) AND in one of the first season episodes Cora is sitting on a sofa (in the room with the big fireplace, the parlour?) doing some kind of needlepoint in an embroidery hoop. So it has been featured, just not in a while!
Someone just mentioned that thing about Cora on Facebook!!!! You guys are on top of this. I totally missed that. Going back to watch. Like I needed an excuse 😉
Well I love Downton Abbey and totally agree about Mary and her two faced Turkish Diplomat business!! But I want someone to tell me what those Crawley women do all day? I mean breakfast in bed and dinner at 8? Okay I know Mary wrestles pigs, once in awhile, but really that girl needs a cupcake!! And Oh I adore Mrs. Crawley! She rocks being a liberal!
Agreed. I like the way they write Cora but it really, really irritaed me last season when the Earl lost alllllllll the money, and he tells Cora, and she was all “No problem baby, I’m an American, Have gun will travel!” and hugs him and smiles like everything is okay. Please. You can tell that was written by a non-American because in real life she would have been “Motherfucker, get your ass off my land and get my money back before I have to pistol whip you back to my mom’s house.” Because you don’t mess with Rhode Island bitches. They will take you down.
Just caught up to the last few episodes aka end of season. Thought it to be the weakest thus far – too predictable – and additionally wanted to smack Cora into real life, as she planned her bazaar. Maybe I’m judging too harshly, after binge-watching “Breaking Bad” and “House Of Cards”, this winter…. time for a “Downton” wrap? But can I keep Granny??
I know. Cora didn’t have anything juicy this season. Neither did Thomas or Mrs. Crawley either, but Cora especially. How hard can it be to plan a stupid bazaar? I still think it was better than season 2…that was a goat rodeo. But Downton needs to keep going. NEEDS TO. I refuse to let it go!
Oh. My. Word. Had to stifle potentially loud guffaws at my desk while reading this. I like the description “subversive needlepoint” though–it has a ring to it. I’m down with needlepoint or cross stitch and that sort of stuff, but I still wish I had the Bargello pillow I made as a 5-year-old. It was a kit from my grandmother and was 1973 awesome.
🙂
I second your idea, Peaches. If I see one more knitted, chevron scarf with burlap stuffed into a monogrammed mason jar (OK, I’m not sure that actually exists, but you get what I’m saying) I’m going to puke.
Sassy needlepoint, that’s where it’s at.
Oh yes, I get what you’re saying. Sassy, so much better.
I’m with you! Enough with the cutes already. Up with the sass!
I love Steotch- they do excellent work! Have you seen this one? https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/61597775/bless-this-house?ref=related-12 xxx
Hmmm… it’s leading me to a “this item is sold” page and the thumbnail is too small to read. I’ll trust it was awesome though 🙂
That pig farmer wil be blackmailing Edith inside of a year.
JANE! DON’T EVEN SAY THAT! Hasn’t Lady Edith been through enough???!!
One word. Sashiko. Now some more words. It’s Japanese embroidery and I am hooked. Very simple and you can make some elegant things.
oh wow. I just looked it up. gorgeous stuff. I’m super into Hmong indigo patterns right now, so this is right up my street. Don’t know if I have the patience to do it properly, but it sure is pretty!
“Meat roid valet” will be making me chuckle all night.
It’s a good one. 🙂
Time for Call The Midwife and Doc Martin. Downtown always ends too soon. And I never had enough patience for embroidery work. Sorry, use a permanent marker. I love folding origami flowers.
counted cross stitch embroidery is easy (so is needlepoint, but it’s a different type of embroidery). Google “how to do counted cross stitch”, and you’ll find some good info online.
If I didn’t live so far away….I could teach you the basics in probably 15 minutes.
Subversive needlepoint! Oh lawdy lawdy! That has Saturday afternoon, once a month, with hoops and needles and cats and throwing the guys and kids out and gossip written all over it. I do counted cross-stitch. I’m not really into TV, but I’ll sit and listen to people complain about it for an afternoon. I can’t drink alcohol so can I bring the Dr. Pepper? And I must have 87 embroidery hoops. Where do you want a couple sent?
um, what the heck – you just totally made my morning! Just clinking your links and I’m like, oh, I must have left my blog tab open, but no – you linked to me! 🙂 What a thrill! xo
No, no, no, Chiara, the thrill is all mine! Let’s keep in touch. I dig your style!
🙂
Apparently I need to do some Downton catching up….this weekend for sure! I am only a couple of episodes behind though. I like waiting until I can catch up with three or four episodes in a row. I do the same thing with movie series. I just hate waiting for the next installments but don’t mind waiting to watch them all in a row….lol go figure.
Cross stitch….I cannot sit still long enough to do embroidery, knitting, crocheting, or sewing. Makes me crazy. I am too ADD to do any of them. But I will live through your projects. 😀
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Fabulous find Auntie. Wonder if my heirs would cherish these down the road? They have to be better than the ones I’ve gotten over the years.
Have you seen Edith With Googly Eyes? I do hope so!
http://edithwithgooglyeyes.tumblr.com/
Love,
Carol