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The Coolest Thing Since Those Cats Playing Patty Cake

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Brad and Angelina got married last week. Despite the eleventymillion thousand articles on the internet, we only know six things about this event.

1. They did not invite me.
2. It took place in France and thereby was automatically stylish.
3. It is not normal for two people to be this beautiful, let alone this beautiful together. In matrimony. In France. So annoying.
4. They sold the photo rights for $2million to benefit charitable organizations.
5. Jennifer Aniston seems okay with this now so we can quit being pissed off on her behalf.
6. Angelina wore a wedding veil embroidered with her children’s drawings.

Let’s be real: that last one is really the only one worth talking about. Look at this!

I mean…
This has got to be the coolest thing I have seen since those cats playing patty cake. Which is saying something.

Now, I know there are those who enjoy making snide comments about other people’s wedding garb (because clearly, brides need to consider other people’s opinions on their appearance on their wedding day) (that’s me being sarcastic) (that’s also me being judgmental about judgmental people at weddings) (but I digress) so lets be clear about the facts: THIS IS RAD. All kinds of awesome. How cool to incorporate her children into such a special garment. How awesome must it have been for those kids to see their art so treasured by their mother that she had it emblazoned on a veil and worn over Versace.

This design makes me like Donatella Versace almost as much as the time she took the ice bucket challenge, oily beefcakes included, and screamed like an old coyote.

She even nominated Prince. It’s just like that Saturday Night Live skit but it was real. Real. 

This is so meta I can’t take it.

Congrats to Brad and Angie!

My Favorite Wedding Trends

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I am like the wedding camel. I can go years on end without attending a single wedding then all of the sudden BAM BAM BAM it’s Marriage-Palooza ’13! 

The thing about weddings is, the more of them you go to, the more they start to look alike. Even the most beautiful and well-executed event can come off with a thud if there isn’t something special to set it apart. Obviously, the key to a great wedding is, (duh), a great marriage between two people who love and adore each other (did I actually need to say that?)…but, but, BUT, the key to a great party is to throw in something unexpected. Something whimsical. Something just-barely eccentric enough to piss off your Aunt Elmira. 

If you follow me on Facebook you probably saw this last Saturday snapshot from the wedding of my friends John and Alexis. Is this a great idea or what?! 

A few years ago everyone and their drunk uncle had a chocolate fountain (some of us may not have waited for a wedding to purchase one, ahem)…but now, apparently, chocolate fountains have gone the way of the Macarena: Over.  That’s what happens to trends I guess. They have to die out eventually.

Despite this, I am spotting some new wedding trends that, I think, are pretty darn swell.

Here are five that I’m hoping will stick around a while!

1. The Cookie Bar
It’s 10pm…the food is long over, the cake is gone, everyone is dancing, and people need something to nosh. Give them cookies and milk! It’ll take care of their munchies, and, bonus, it’ll get folks to lay off the booze long enough to join in the Cha-Cha Slide. Excellent! 

Update: Thanks to the anonymous comment below for calling attention to this NYT piece on the Pittsburgh tradition of cookie tables. Whoa. This is intense! Now all I need is someone in Pittsburgh invite me to their wedding.

2. Grandmas as Flower Girls
Okay, I like a cute little toddler flower girl as much as the next person, but let’s be honest, sometimes they suck at the flower part. And it’s not their fault or anything. I mean, if a kid can’t poop on target it’s asking a lot of them to be able to handle the whole basket-petal-floor-basket-petal-floor routine.  I say, give the little girls the pretty dresses, but give grandma the flowers. Granny is probably marching up the aisle anyway, so put her to work! 

3.  “Special Thing” Fund Registry
For a long time it was taboo for couples to ask for cash as a gift, (and yeah, it can still come off greedy if it’s not handled nicely (perhaps via an online service)), but, I for one would rather chip into something that the happy couple really wants like a house, a honeymoon, new furniture, etc…rather than, say, buying some $90 blender from a department store, especially if I know, *for a fact*, they both came into the marriage with a perfectly good blender.  I mean, do I really want to push them into the Three Blender Household realm? No. Can I help cover a piece of the down payment on a condo? Yes. Sign me up!

4. Long Lasting Sparklers
Sparklers are awesome for outdoor wedding receptions, no doy. Not only are they cheap, festive and fun, they make for amazeballs photos. The only problem is the regular kind burn out in like 30 seconds. So now you get the long-lasting ones…everyone at the party can join in the fun (and the photos).

5. Non-Matching Bridesmaid Dresses
For a long time there, bridesmaid dresses were, by definition, ugly (I believe there is a shade of dusty rose nail polish called “bridesmaid pink”). For the record, I have seen some beautiful bridesmaid dresses in my time; it’s the not-so beautiful ones that give the rest a bad reputation. Picking bridesmaid dresses is a hard balance to strike, for any bride, and it only gets more complicated when considering not only the people who will be wearing the dress, but the season, the venue, the price-point, the formality of the groomsmen’s attire…it’s complicated! You just can’t please everyone. For a number of years, the thing was to pick a designer/fabric and let each individual bridesmaid pick whatever dress# they liked best.  Nowadays, more and more brides just don’t give a rip and are picking a general length or color wave, if anything at all. These brides would rather their sisters and friends feel comfortable and beautiful, rather than mauve and matching. I think that’s pretty awesome!

So that is what I have to say about that. Eat your heart out, Emily Post.

Now, what say you, do you have a favorite wedding trend?