Things That Keep Me Awake At Night: Jelly Beans

President Obama was on the television last night talking about the crisis surrounding America’s debt ceiling and how the whole country could very easily go to Hell in a hand-basket in the next two weeks.

Good times y’all.

But somewhere between his firm-yet-persuasive hand gestures, he made not one, but three separate references to Ronald Reagan, which is kind of weird, because, you know, as presidents go, they aren’t exactly birds of a feather. I’m sure it was something that his handlers told him to say in effort to appeal to Middle America, and I think that’s even more weird, because, you know, Middle America wanted him to stop talking so we could go back to watching The Bachelorette. 

I’m not sure why Ronald Regan is suddenly the apple of President Obama’s eye, but I must confess a soft spot for him ever since someone told me the Reagans kept loaded candy dishes in nearly every room of their house at all times, including a famous bowl of jelly beans on his desk in the oval office. He said, You can tell a lot about a person’s character by whether he picks out all of one color or just grabs a handful.

And while it would not be politically correct to say aloud, I’ll bet he could also tell a lot about a person by their choice color of beans. For the record, I’m the type to choose yellow or green or pale orange….cheerful and acidic. That’s me in a nutshell. But what about the person who chooses the purple beans? Or Heavens To Murgatroid, the black jelly beans? Would Ronald Reagan have entered into Iranian hostage negations with  the guy who plucked out the black jellybeans?

These are the things that keep me awake at night. 


  1. Anonymous says

    i eat the black ones. and the green,and the white, and the yellow…ha! i guess i eat ’em all. that’s probably why i am fat.

  2. says

    ooo, I always pick out red and pink flavors, and juicy pear is my FAVE (if we’re talking Jelly Bellies here 🙂 I’d love to hear what exactly he thought it meant about someone who picks vs someone who grabs??

    Also, SO GLAD your colorful stripes are back!!!

  3. says

    What would Regan have thought about me who gets skeeved out by communal, unwrapped candy dishes. I bet even the Oval Office doesn’t get a 100% hand-washing success rate.

  4. says

    JHill–excellent point. And they sure didn’t have Purell back in the day. Guess the Reagan administration was gobbling communism *AND* trace remnants of ecoli. Awesome.

    Jamie–I wonder the same. And thanks–the stripe reappearance was an accident but I think I’ll keep them. Forgot how much I liked a little color around here 🙂

  5. Jae says

    I think you have to watch out for combinations of beans, for example, red and black: fiery with evil undertones. Or, yellow and blue: cowardice with a hint of loyalty. White and orange: purity with a dash of adventure. The worst, of course, is green and green: envy recycled.
    Just a thought

  6. says

    I could eat the black ones exclusively because I love licorice and Americans don’t seem to like that flavor so jelly beans is pretty much my only way of getting that special flavor.

  7. says

    Great piece, Auntie Peaches… you continue to strike a chord. My wardrobe loves black, but I never eat noir beans. Purple, pink, vanilla, red… analyze that! A side note… Joe was buying 10-pound bags of the Jelly Belly variety from Sam’s Club, to which we’d play 500 Rummy, at night. Then, 10-pounds-of-a-different-variety later, I banned them from the house… it’s the one candy I can’t resist! Must be an Easter Bunny thing-y.

    Good Luck with your move… you’ll be charmin’ the new neighborhood, in no time at all. xo

  8. says

    I wonder what Grandpa Caligula (as Jello Biafra used to call him) would have made of people (like me) who use the little recipe books that come with the assortment boxes. (Lemon + Coconut = Lemon Meringue Pie.) Would that have been enough to snag the top spot at the Food and Drug Administration?

  9. says

    A) I love your blog. Brava! B) I, like you, go for yellow, green, orange in that order. If I’m desperate, white. Pink & red go in the trash. However, I married a black, then purple type. This mirrors our taste in movies, interestingly enough.

  10. Anonymous says

    I don’t know if the jellybeans there are the same as the beans here, but I love the blue ones (they taste like bubblegum) and I HATE the black ones (they taste like black licorice- YUCK). White is yucky.

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