Shakespearean Insults

Partridge’s Shakespeare Statue, Lincoln Park, Chicago, IL

I’m not saying I like to insult people, or that I’m good at insulting people, or that I attempt to insult people a lot. I am saying the term douche bag is getting really old and we could all stand to expand our vernacular. I’m thinking Bill Shakespeare might be a good place to start:

Courtesy of Tastefully Offensive

Is it wrong to have a favorite insult? If not; what is yours?


  1. says

    Hmmm… I wonder the looks I will get when I call my husband tickle brained or toad spotted? I think I shall have to try it!

  2. Miss_maryah says

    My lily-livered, cox-skinned canker-blossoms of a class really enjoy making and hurling Shakespearean insults when we read Romeo and Juliet together =)

  3. PeachesFreund says

    When I posted this, I was specifically hoping someone would share it in a classroom . Yay!

  4. caro says

    I thought it was pretty fantastic when Loki called Black Widow a “mewling quim” in the Avengers. It’s time for a return to the good old-fashioned insults on which this country was built!

  5. nutbirds says

    I was trying to pin this website last week!

  6. Bluejem13 says

    I absolutely LOVE this! You need to make an app….I see it being three columns that you click on they all spin to give you a random, new fresh insult every time!

  7. Erin Badenhop says

    My girlfriend and I think that “You Flourless Torte” Is a great insult. Even though the Torte that inspired it was delicious.

  8. says

    Oh my gosh, this is soooo wonderful! You must do an app! It would go viral!! And anybody who wouldn’t want it would be a goatish plumb-plucked horn-beast! heheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

  9. says

    PS I am sure these are just typos, but I did notice there are a couple in column 3 that include the word “pig” and since you dear Aunt Peaches are not a pauncy, clay brained, maggot-pie I am sure when you are able, they will be corrected!

  10. The Creative Goddess says

    I stinkin’ love this. Yes, I am tired of douche bag too. With three mostly grown boys its’ use has gotten far out of hand. I’m going to print out a copy for each of them! 🙂

  11. Slverria says

    The next time I argue with my hubby I will call him an Impertinent elf-skinned foot-licker. I am sure that will stop him in his tracks with a ruttish onion-eyed whey-faced look! Sorry hehe I had 2 favs!

  12. Ellicia says

    Is calling someone a tottering, swag-bellied, clotpole the same as calling them old, fat and dumb? I can see emerging Shakespearian rap artists on the horizon.

  13. Kara DeCarlo says

    Artless, earth-vexing miscreant!
    I now have something to yell back at the adolescents who yell “hey, slut!”

  14. PeachesFreund says

    Girl, you need to screw the Elizabethan and tell them to “Fuck off.” followed by an artful hand gesture. I’m confident that’s what Shakespeare would do.

  15. PeachesFreund says

    I would buy that album in a heart beat!

  16. PeachesFreund says

    I sourced from another site so I can’t edit…however, I am sure they did not mean pig as in swine. Probably like pigs as in cops or “People In Government Service”….you know, Shakespeare was all about small government and whatnot.

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