Greetings from the hobbit hole! I stand before you, a bewildered groundhog, peeping her head from below the warmth of my tree stump bunker, timidly sniffing the air while looking for signs of spring. And you know what? I think it might be here. Praise Dolly!
News from the glitter front: I’m closing in on the home stretch of my book, which is a good reason to stay away from the distractions of social media. That, and the populace has gone and lost its damn mind. I just spent 10 minutes on Facebook and everybody and their brother Wayne is angry about something. Did you notice this too?
Peyton Manning retired – let’s be mad he had the nerve to grow old!
Nancy Raegan is dead – let’s be mad that she tried to stop drugs and it didn’t work!
Donald Trump is going to be the Republican nominee – let’s be mad people are voting for him!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating for Donald Trump. Whoa Nelly, let’s get that straight. But I’m not in the business of telling people how to vote. Bad politicians are the direct result of bad voters (that’s on us, America) and half of us don’t even vote. Ever. So yeah, it’s no wonder someone started pandering to the lowest common denominator and the formula worked real well. Just the same, it’s just kinda gross when you know people for years -people who never vote and couldn’t tell you their congressman’s name to save their life- then one day you are talking about Easter candy and out of the clear blue sky they are lecturing you on government and telling you “I LIKE TRUMP BECAUSE HE SAYS IT LIKE IT IS.” And you know full well what they mean is “I LIKE TRUMP BECAUSE HE SAYS ALL THE HATEFUL, IGNORANT HORSESHIT I’M NOT RICH ENOUGH TO SAY MYSELF.”
…and he also likes to go on TV and talk about his genitals. Did you see that? WTF kind of goat rodeo was that? Not one man, but three grown men. And two of them are already elected and living on the tax-payer’s dime. How the hell do you explain that behavior to your kids? I’m honestly wondering how some of you parentals are handling this. That is one problem I am grateful to not be handling right now. Or do kids not watch the debates anymore? I used to love watching the debates with my dad when I was a kid and we’d talk about in school and stuff. It was just what you did. Not so much cable options then, I guess. Remember when Dan Quayle got his ass handed to him by Lloyd Bentsen? The whole country was like Oooooooooooo Burn! but that was a wet noodle compared this situation we got going on here. Y’all: WTF happened?
And yet, we can’t all go around writing off people because they follow a different set of political principals. That’s the kind of attitude that leads to oligarchy problems, and ain’t nobody got time for that. Where am I going here? Don’t know. They say it isn’t good for business to talk politics in public because people may have a different perspective, but I wonder; what good has come from a whole country that only discusses their views with like-minded people? Isn’t that where we are right now? Couldn’t we all benefit from hearing a different perspective and weighing conclusions for ourselves?
Well, that was way too philosophical for Monday morning. I’m thinking the safety of my hobbit hole of cat hair and paper flowers is looking pretty good right now. In cheerier news, this is some other nifty/uplifting/not-related-to-republican-genitals things I found on the interwebs in recent weeks….
Two things I love more than chocolate which is saying a lot: David Sedaris and Ru Paul’s Drag Race. And for one shining moment, they collided together.
The mansions of the reclusive heirless, Huguette Clark. Nobody, even people who worked for her for years, knew what she looked like. I’m adding this book to my reading list.
Marikmekko is coming to Target! Marimekko is coming to Target! Breathe. Breathe.
These wire wrapped bangles are the tits! Also, a really good excuse to start collecting chunky beads. Like I needed another thing to collect?
Going through a breakup? Say it in pie.
OH HELL YES IN ALL CAPS: The adult coloring book to end all adult coloring books is here! Ruth Bader Ginsberg.
Can you even believe they don’t ship to the US? Benedict Cumberbatch as a chocolate bunny.
Eat your heart out, Mozart: A real, genuine orchestra playing along to a cat playing on a piano.
Dorothy Zbornak screaming “CONDOMS!” for five hours. If the internet existed for this alone, it’s worth it.
Did y’all watch the Downton Abbey Final last night? So good! Not even going to pretend I didn’t cry ten times. Here’s the NYT’s mini retrospective.
Favorite thing I have watched this month: Darby Forever. Aidy Bryant from SNL is the cutest and here she is talking and crafting about it. Why can’t more interviews involve tissue paper flowers?