Aunt Peaches

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Christmas

Custom Glittering Initial Ornaments

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Every year I like to come up with a one-size-fits-all homemade item that I can give to everyone. Something that is inexpensive, easy to make in large batches, personal, impressive, but not so time consuming that I’ll be offended if they toss it come January. Some years it’s a small box of cookies, other years it’s a magnet calendar featuring a photo of my cat. You would be shocked how many people take a pass on magnetic cat calendars I tell you. Shocked.  

So this year I’m making these little ornaments featuring people’s initials. They are special enough to stand on their own, or serve double duty as a package tag. Well color me pragmatic.


Materials

  • Felt Letters (sold at craft stores and teacher supply stores, or just cut your own out of cardboard)
  • Shiny Bits (glitter, beads, rhinestones, sequins, whatever you have on hand)
  • Mod Podge (the regular glue-like kind)
  • Mod Podge Dimensional Magic (I used two kinds with gold and silver glitter mixed in)
  • Wax Paper (optional – for drying)

Instructions
1. Thoroughly coat each letter with Mod Podge and pile high with sparkly bits. 2. Let dry overnight. 3. Use the Mod Podge Dimensional Magic to draw a line around the edge of the shape and let it firm up a bit (30 minutes maybe?) then go back and fill in the rest.

Mod Podge Dimensional Magic is cool stuff. It not only coats and seals all the little sparkly bits, it thickens up and creates an almost resin-like bubble. It dries hard, super shiny and glittery. Instead of looking like a bunch of sequins glued to a felt letter, the finished result looks like an elegant ornament or funkadelic piece of jewelry.  Neato!

I wish you guys could feel these things in your hands. They are smooth and sturdy. I’m confident they will be hanging on someone’s tree for years to come.

This is slightly off topic, but this little tip has made glittering a lot easier / less messy. So much easier than messing around with shallow trays or newspaper, and pouring the excess back in the jar is a cinch. Try it sometime.

###Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post using sample products. The fact that I am being paid to write this post has not influenced my opinion in any way. In fact, if I am really being honest here, I am probably going to use the money I am getting paid to write this post to go out and buy more Mod Podge. Circle of life, baby.  

If you love Mod Podge as much as I do, you can follow them on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

Anti-Establishment Christmas

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I had to wear a coat today.

A real coat. This means I am in the middle of a raging case of PCS.

What is PCS? Good question.

PCS stands for Peri-Christmas Spirit. It’s sort of like Peri-Menopause but without the hormonal rage and unwanted hair. PCS comes with an unrequited longing for whiskey sours, evergreen branches, and buttery things that taste like hot sparkles.

I think PCS is my body’s way of fighting off my internal dread of winter. It’s trying to find something good to look forward to, like the holidays. Christmas is still months away but I find myself seeking it out in weird places. Like Pinterest. I’m on a plaid and gold pin binge right now. Not plaid and gold Christmas ornaments, just plaid and gold anything that reminds me of a Christmas ornament. And yes, there is a difference.

This mens shirt (Riccardo Tisci for Givenchy from a couple years ago) pretty much sums up what my PCS is feeling right now: loud and spiky. Studded. Sparkling. Brady Bunch seventies style Scotch red plaid. But better.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. An anti-establishment Christmas. 

Just in case you can’t read the text:

“Our Post-Grad Slacks have soul. And they come in a mighty medley of plaids, stripes, checks and solids. Press-Free. Talon Zipper. From $10.00. Slightly higher in the waist. For retailers, write h.i.s, 16 E. 34 Street, N.Y. 10016”
That’s right folks. Send them a letter to find out where to get your very own mighty medley of anti-establishment plaid pants. Because, you know, the little drummer boy needs a new pair of power slacks. Slightly higher in the waist, of course.

An Early Christmas with Sherlock

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I need to show you something.
Shannon, a lovely longtime reader, was cruising through a UK newspaper a couple weeks ago when she spotted a picture of Benedict Cumberbatch, the seriously fetching actor who plays Sherlock Holmes. Not only did Shannon remember that I expressed a certain, ahem, fondness, for Mr. Cumberbatch, she also remembered that I have a Christmas tree covered in birds. 
A light bulb went off. 
This is what it looked like:

I know what you are thinking.
Dang, I’d like to put a bird on that.
After a sprinkle of glitter, a tuffet of tinsel, and a loooooooongtrip in an envelope from Shannon’s house in the UK, I now have my very first Christmas ornament of 2012. If he plays his cards right, Mr. Cumberbatch might end up at the top of the tree. 
Thank you, Shannon.
Merry Christmas!

Aunt Izora’s Pink Flocking

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Legend has it, my Great Aunt Izora was fond of pink flocking. Back in the late 1950’s she was kind enough to send her sister, my grandmother, Pumpkin, a pink flocked wreath to hang in the front window of what was my mother’s childhood home.
Side Note 1: Those names are 100% real. I couldn’t make this up if I tried.
Side Note 2: Pumpkin kept a very traditional home. Even back in the 50’s and 60’s when turquoise cars were commonplace, Pumpkin leaned toward the Ralph Lauren look…Green velvet. Mahogany wood. Tartan plaid. Dark antiquey things someone brought over on a boat from a place that smells like fish. You get the picture.
With that in mind, it’s easy to imagine the confusion raised when an oversize pink flocked wreath landed on Pumpkin’s door step that December day. Described as “huge” and “garish,” it came with silver balls and a “cute little Santa” perched in the middle. Pumpkin wondered why anyone, much less her own sister, thought her home suitable for such a gaudy, unorthodox specimen? 
Surely it was a mistake.

Surely Izora intended her to receive a green wreath, or perhaps a red one. Maybe even a white one, but pink? Heavens no. There must have been a mix up down at store, and Pumpkin even went so far as to pick an argument with florist until he exchanged the pink wreath for a traditional circlet of green holly. It hung in their window for several weeks, until Christmas Eve, when Aunt Izora called to confirm she was coming over the following day and could not wait to see “that pink wreath!”

Oh crap.

Pumpkin immediately sent her eldest daughters on a wild goose chase around town in search of another pink flocked wreath with a velvet Santa in the middle (no easy task on Christmas Eve). Eventually one was located and Aunt Izora arrived the followed day, delighted to see her gift prominently displayed in the front window for all the world to see, never knowing her well intended gift had ever caused such distress and upheaval, telling everyone,“The minute I saw it, I knew Patty would love that adorable pink Santa!”

Side note 3: Patty, now known as Aunt Pat (or as she signs her emails “Yer Olde Ain’t Pat”) is my mother’s younger sister and the baby of the family. Although she probably doesn’t like to be referred to as the baby. She is married to Uncle John, who, when I was eight, taught me how to play poker and bust a grown man’s knee cap with a fork. Not at the same time, though.

Aunt Pat was kind enough to send me a photo of the “adorable pink Santa.” Let’s take a look, shall we?
WOW AUNT IZORA, WAY TO BE WEIRD.

Check out the face on that thing.

Creepy.

Like, Black Velvet Clown Painting In The Bathroom type of creepy.

See, I don’t question why someone painted the clown on black velvet; I question the person who wants to look at it while they go to the bathroom. Not that my questioning should stop them. It’s their bathroom. It’s their home. Their life. Their bowel movement. Who am I to judge?

…but, when someone gives me the creepy clown painting and gets offended when I don’t hang it above my toilet, well, we have a problem.

And therein lies the rub: you can’t give people things you like and expect them to like them too.

Fact: This week, US retailers will exchange/return/reshelf more items than during the rest of the year combined. This wouldn’t happen if we kept our black velvet and pink flocking to ourselves. This wouldn’t happen if we learned to quell our inner Aunt Izora.

Sometimes, especially around Christmas, I wonder if I am just like Aunt Izora. Why, if I had a nickel for every time someone tossed one of my home spangled Christmas sweaters, well, I would have a whole dime.

And it hurts.

This Christmas I decided to embrace my inner Aunt Izora and gave myself the gift of a pink flocked tree. I have wanted one for years but always felt guilty wanting to something like that for myself. Now I realize that, if I don’t get it for myself, that desire will manifest in other ways and will push my taste, my style, my wants out via someone else’s gift, which, will inevitably be returned. And that’s not good for anybody. So, I propose a toast…

Here is to Aunt Izora and her pink flocked wreath.

Here is to me and my pink flocked tree.

And here is to all those folks standing in line right now, returning $46.3 Billion dollars in merchandise.

Just be thankful it wasn’t a clown on black velvet.

Happy new year!

*** PS: If you want people to quit returning your gifts, I suggest you look into a pink flocked tree for yourself. And don’t wait til next year either — Treetopia.com is having a major holiday sale right now. You can embrace your inner Aunt Izora for up to 70% off!



Broken Ornaments = Feathered Bud Vases

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I’m not hosting a Christmas feast at my house this year, but if I was, you would find one of these babies at every place setting. Not only are they an easy way to snazz up a table, they are a good way to use up all those ornaments with missing top thingies. That’s a technical term, folks.

Do you see me in the reflections?

It’s just like one of those Where’s Waldo puzzles except I’m wearing periwinkle instead of a striped shirt.

And it’s totally obvious.

Tip: use an old jar to hold the ornament while the glue dries.
Another Tip: Fill with greens, feathers, berries, dried flowers…whatever you want, but be wary of using fresh flowers or anything that will require you to clean the inside of the ornament afterwards. The rim will snap right off. I speak from experience on this one. So does the bandage on my finger. Owch!

 You need one next to your soap dish. I know you do.

 

Giftwrap Challenge: Custom Photo Paper

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I’m not buying any wrapping paper this year. Stop by every Monday until New Years for an easy gift wrap idea featuring everyday items. 

Do you know the hallmark of a talented gift wrapper? It’s when the recipient spends more time examining the wrapping than the gift inside. They feel special just looking the present on their lap. And what could be more Christmasy than that?

A present like this is sure to look good under your tree. And if you have old holiday photos and access to a copy machine, them wham, you are in business. Use oversize paper if you have access, but letter size paper will cover most handheld items like books, music, etc.

I saw a similar idea in an early 1980’s Better Homes and Gardens Magazine using pictures of a birthday boy or girl –cute idea, but I like it with a holiday twist. You could also use old Christmas cards, or Christmas Music. Look closely at the photo above and you might see and image from Donny and Marie’s Christmas poking through. Don’t hold it against me. I’m a sucker for those Osmonds.


Lunchtime in Nuremberg

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One of the best parts about my job is working right smack in the middle of downtown Chicago—a city I adore and praise to no end. If you have not been here all I can tell you is come. We have so much to offer!
In December, when I can, I like to spend my lunch time wandering through the Christkindl Market outside city hall. I’ll get a grilled cheese pretzel and hot chocolate in a ceramic boot and window shop my way around the square. Sometimes there is live music and a real festive atmosphere, but sometimes, it’s just me and a handful of other office folk coming out to spend their lunch time. The beer garden in the middle of the square is a happening place for the after work crowd, so I like to take my time at lunch. The Salvation Army tuba player plays Silent Night and a good time is had by all.

I think a lot of people write it off some cliché gimmick—like the city orchestrated some pop-up holiday market to draw in tourists, which, let’s be honest–is partially true, but they don’t realize that this is the real deal.  Most of the merchants live, work and create their goods in Europe, then fly in to Chicago for one month each year, then return home on Christmas Eve. Having been lucky enough to live in Switzerland for several years, by my estimation, Chicago’s market could hold its own against any Christkindl market in Europe. Ok, maybe not any market in Europe, but it’s as close as you will find outside of Germany.
Not a bad way to spend your lunchtime 🙂

Victorian Tinsel Birds for Under a Buck

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For a long time there, I didn’t keep a Christmas tree. Don’t ask why, it’s a long story. Sufficient to say I got my Christmas itch scratched through, um, other modes of holiday hoopla. But all that changed two years ago when I broke down and bought a $20 tree at Target to start housing my birds.

Yes, birds.

I collect bird ornaments. They used to sit on some branches in a bucket all winter, but now they sit in a proper tree and it makes me giddy every time I see it. No, it’s not a huge tree–no bigger than a fourth grader. And since I tend to hoard, I made myself a promise; I would only collect birds that were handmade, vintage, or truly special–like a memento from a vacation or a from close friend. That way I could keep a leash on the rate of collection and only after a lifetime would I eventually fill the tiny tree with exclusively one-of-a-kind ornaments. Good plan, right?

Wrong.

I thought it would take me a lifetime to fill that tree, but this is only my third holiday and it’s so jam packed I had to get an annex tree for the living room (more on that one to follow).

This year I decided that the tree needed more sparkle and a little bit of Victorian flair. I ordered some German die cut birds from 32 Degress North (they have some seriously cute stuff y’all), and mounted them on cupcake liners with some touches of feathers and tinsel.


Besides the birds and the paper gift tags used as the base, I didn’t have to buy a thing.

Not sure if that speaks to the ease of this project, or the severity of my craft supply obsession, but you get the idea.

I realize not everyone keeps polka dotted guinea fowl feathers in their pantry.

 Yeah, their are some other kinds of birds too. Here are some of my recent aquisions…

You know what they say in Portlandia –everything looks good when you put a bird on it. 

Fruitcake and Holiday Jamz. No, really.

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A CD that looks like a fruitcake? Oh really, you shouldn’t have!

Here is the thing: I love holiday music.

No, really, you think you love it, but I love it more.

If I owned a car, I’d rig the horn to play Carol of the Bells.

No, really.

There is a radio station in Chicago that starts playing Christmas music 24/7 in early November, and for nearly two months, every time a song comes on, I shake my fists a tiny bit and squeal to myself, This one is my favorite!

No, really.

Years ago, when burning your own mix CDs became a fad, some friends and I all swapped CDs made of our favorite holiday music. Between the five of us and ten songs each, it was a quick way to amass a decent collection. And although my collection was already sizable, hearing other people’s “Top Ten Holiday Hits” was an interesting insight to each person’s approach to Christmas spirit.

You know, one’s musical taste and one’s taste in Christmas Music are two separate things. You would never guess that a big burly guy would enjoy Rosemary Clooney’s Suzie Snowflake, or that the classical music snob would appreciate Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, but there you go. We all learned a little about each other, and after much discussion, we all agreed that the world is divided into two different kinds of people: people who enjoy Celion Dion, and Everyone Else.

But I digress.

I still like to swap Cds and wish it was more popular. I’m still going to make a few though, and this year, best of all, they will look like fruitcake! Ready for the tutorial? Here goes:

1. Go down to the offfice supply store and get some CD Labels for inkjet printers.
2. Find a picture of a fruitcake.
3. Following the manufacturer directions, place the image of the fruitcake over the CD template.
4. Print it.
5. Stick it.

And that’s it.

Now, I’m not going to get into the details on how to place an image in your computer, because every combination of template/computer will be slightly different, but trust me, it’s easy. If you are super uncomfortable with this stuff, but you have access to someone between the ages of 8 and 18, get them to do it for you. Bribe them with chocolate if you have to. It’s worth it. Everyone will be so delighted and impressed when you hand them this CD of your favorite holiday tunes!

HELP ME. I DON’T WANT TO GET SUED. AT LEAST NOT OVER FRUITCAKE.

It is my understanding that certain federal regulatory entities do not appreciate people like me promoting the concept of folks swapping free music. Understandable. Scroogish, but understandable. So, to offset any free music that might be exchanged, lets’ promote some music for purchase, shall we?

I’m asking you to leave a comment indicating your top three holiday songs in the following categories; Classic, Sentimental, and Buried Treasure (something that you never hear on the radio). Include artist preference if you have one.

Hopefully, if a few of us share our favorite songs, some of us will be prompted to check them out and perhaps download them on ITunes (or similar). Cool?

Here, I’ll start:

Classic: “We Three Kings of Orient Are” by Ella Fitzgerald
Sentimental: “Dominick the Donkey”
Buried Treasure: “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Rolf and John Denver (yes, I am evangelizing the Muppets yet again. The whole album is amazing. ‘Nuff said) 

Now it’s your turn — chime in the comments, por favor 🙂

Candyland. Sorta.

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As I child, I told myself that if I ever lived in wooden house, come Christmastime, I would decorate it as a gingerbread house, bucket sized gumdrops and all. There would be a motorized train in the driveway and I would hire college students to dress as gingerbread men to dance on the lawn each night. Neighborhood children would come to affectionately refer to our home as “The Candy House” for years and years, long after the holidays were over.
Reality check: WTF was that all about?
Decorating the outside of a house is hard. Ladders are dangerous. Lights are expensive. And what parent is going to let their kids play with drunken college kids dressed as creepy gingerbread men?
Still. I couldn’t kill the dream. I had to try. This is my first attempt at Candyland:
Props to all y’all who go whole hog decorating the outside of your homes for Christmas. I had no idea how much effort was involved. Now I know! 
Well, seeing as this was my first time decorating the outside of a full sized home, I set myself some parameters to keep me on track:
  • It had to look good in the daytime, not just when the lights are on at night.
  • It had to be something that could grow a little ever year.
  • All materials had to be inexpensive/widely available/crap I already owned.
  • No scary ladder climbing.
The end result is a far cry from my childhood visions of grandeur, but as a first attempt, I am very happy! It was easy to do, and didn’t take a lot of time or money. 
The candy lights are my favorite. I may string those up in my studio after the holidays. And they were crazy easy to make too— you have got to see the original tutorial from Brittany Jepsen on featured on Oh Happy Day last week. It’s pretty much amazing!
Side Note 1: Per the original tutorial, I couldn’t find corsage boxes for less than $2.00 a piece, so I substituted by stapling together a pair of clear plastic bowls. Now I realize I also could have used plastic bottles with the ends removed, or clear plastic take-out containers. Oh well, next year!
Side Note 2: With bulbs this tiny, I’m not worried about overheating, however, some kinds of cellophane will degas toxic fumes when exposed to heat for extended periods of time. I used no-heat LED lights just to be safe, especially since these may be used indoors in the off-season.You decide for yourself 🙂
Merry Christmas!