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$1 Tinsel Purse

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I’m not big on dressing for the holidays. Unless it’s an ugly Christmas sweater with a cat on it, in which case, I am down.

This last weekend, sadly, my kitty sweater was at the cleaners. I needed to dress up my usual uniform (black jersey and big earrings) with something festive. Something fun. Something cheap.

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present my $1 Tinsel Purse:

This was so easy. I mean, crazy easy. If you can work a hot glue gun, you can make this in under five minutes.

This all started with a brown satin purse that matched a bridesmaid dress from a couple of years ago. It’s actually a pretty nice purse but I don’t have much call for brown ballgowns (unless you count that time I walked to 7-11 to buy a frozen pizza  wearing my bridesmaid dress and flip-flops….but even then I needed a bigger purse to hold my wallet, phone and beef jerky. I know right? Conundrum.)

If you don’t have a bridesmaid purse laying around you could raid your closet or pick one up at the thrift store for a buck. Even the dollar store has cheapo evening purses. The dollar store is where I found this tinsel garland, and they also sell beaded garland too. If your purse did not have a handle it would be easy to substitute for an over-sized bracelet of beaded garland, or heck, why not use a real bracelet?  Doesn’t everyone have a tacky beaded bracelet from their Aunt Thelma? I have three! No offense, Aunt Thelma.

Good for Christmas and New Years shindigs galore.  Party down!

 

 

Stay Classy, Double-Stick

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There are people in this world who say, “Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.”
I am not one of them. 
If one of them should find themselves on my gift list this year, well, they’ll have to suck it up and get ready for a big ol’ smooch. I have a big glittery batch of herpes with their name all over it. Literally.  
First I wrap the gift with irritating precision, then spell their name in doublet sick tape. 
A little glitter…a little dust off with a feather..a little boom. Done!
A little leopard print….a little glitter…herpes…Merry Christmas!

Stay classy, double-stick.

Box’n and Cookie Swap’n

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Cookie swaps are just about my favorite thing in the world. They are like a potluck party but instead of bringing food everyone brings cookies, and instead of leaving drunk and tired everyone leaves with…wait for it…more cookies.

What is not to like?

I have been cookie swapping with a handful of former co-workers for a few years now. Back then it started as a practical way to generate a variety of baked goods without all the cooking — just a few people exchanging tupperware boxes in the office kitchen one Friday….now it’s grown, and since hardly any of us work in the same place anymore, it’s a good excuse for a get-together. Cookies + old friends = good time.


Unfortunately, not everyone on the planet can come to my house to swap cookies (maybe next year, guys). Until then, it’s nice to give cookies to family and friends sans party.

I love giving and receiving little bundles of cookies but sometimes storage can be a pain. Paper plates covered in foil or plastic wrap are fine for transportation, but they don’t do a very good job of keeping things fresh sitting out on the counter. Disposable tupperware boxes are nice but they aren’t exactly pretty to look at (or good for the environment). What do you do?

Save your boxes, that’s what you do.


The empty cardboard boxes from rolls of foil or parchment are great for exchanging baked goods. When lined with wax paper they keep cookies and bars neatly in place, plus, now the recipient can put the whole box directly in their cupboard or bread box. No fuss. No mess. No stale or broken cookies. Huzzah!

To make these, I just used a little bit of craft paint to dress up the outside then covered the metal “tear strip” (that sharp thing along the edge of the box) with a little bit of washi tape. In retrospect I could have saved the washi tape and covered the metal strip with masking tape and then painted right over the whole darn thing, but you know…learning curve.

I am still due for another round of baking later this week. Anyone have a favorite recipe to recommend? I’m on the lookout for a no-fail somethingorother that comes out crispy. I’m good on the chewy and chocolate fronts, but a crispy cookie would be nice. Suggestions welcome.

Christmas Just Got Fonty

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I decided to make some of my own wrapping paper this year. Now, normally I’m all for paint and glue and glitter, but sometimes it’s nice to keep it clean. Not that I’m not giving up my sparkle tooth anytime soon,  folks. But when it’s the first week of December and I’m knee deep in glitter, sometimes a palate cleanser is required. Typography is a great place to start. By mixing the words from A Visit From Saint Nicholas (aka ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas) with Century Gothic, I got an interesting texture that was fun for all sorts of holiday niftyness.

 

Just for fun, I did another version with lyrics of old English Christmas Carols done up in a fancy pants old English font.

I made a PDF for both that you are welcome to use at home using any letter sized piece of paper you can fit in your printer. Click here to view the PDF.

I am weird about tape. I dislike the transparent stuff. For wrapping presents, I like to use double-stick to seal from the inside (hems folded, obv), or I like brightly colored tape to accent the presentation, or, I’ll use labels. Address labels are dirt cheap and work great for this purpose. Labels these days are great for so much more than envelopes!

So, I gave you are starting point but that’s no reason why you can’t make your own. If you can work a Word doc you can make these any which way you like. Have fun!

The Pajaki Has Landed

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There is a Polish expression: Błogosławiony dom w którym pająki są, which roughly translates to: God blesses the home with a spiderweb in it.
Or something like that.
That expression there is the crux of the pajaki (prounounced Pie-Yonky). Pajakis are a traditional Polish folk art made to look like elaborate spiderwebs. The literal translation is spiders of straw. To you or me they look like paper chandeliers, but to spiders, apparently they look like big glitzy condominium. So, my dining room is like Las Vegas for arachnids. Who knew?
Okay, I know what you are thinking; Spiderwebs at Christmas? Seriously? That’s sort of gross. You want me to put a web in my house for real?
Yes real.
For one thing, The Baby Jesus liked spiders. So there. And, in fact, tinsel is symbolic of the spiderweb that protected Mary and Jesus from Herod in a cave one scary night (read more about this according to The Gospel of Matthew).
And for another thing, Dude, spiders are lucky. And not just at Christmas. And spiderwebs are even luckier. If you find an abandoned spiderweb intact, you are Go-Buy-A-Lotto-Ticket lucky. But— and listen here because this part is important—if you tear, damage, or remove a spiderweb in any way, you will not have good luck. Getting rid of spiderwebs is very bad joojoo. Very bad.  I once saw a neighbor woman clean spiderwebs off her garage door and the very next day she was in a car accident. I’m not even kidding. She was fine but the car was wrecked and it all could have been prevented had she just left that spider alone to live in peace in his web. This is why people are scared of them – spiders will take you down to Chinatown if you mess with them.
In conclusion: be nice to spiders. Not just because it’s bad joojoo, but because it’s what Jesus would do.
Spiders and Christmas trees go together. Believe it!
If you did not notice, I have strong opinions about all things superstitious. Old, new, whatever. I make them up as I see fit. Don’t pay attention to me. I also think it is unlucky to let the phone ring four times or to open a bag of potato chips with a ragged edge. I can’t sleep without rubbing my feet together for good luck. I have issues. It’s because I’m Polish. Not really. I mean yes, I am part Polish but that’s not why I have issues. Should we start talking about the craft now? Okay. Here we go…
I made this on the fly so exact quantities here are not listed. The good news is that with the exception of the circle base, I didn’t purchase any special items for this project. All in, this pajaki cost me exactly $1 to make. My prababcia would be so proud!
Materials
  • 150ish 2” lengths of drinking straws. I used thin red coffee straws, but any plastic or paper straw would work. Traditional pajakis would be assembled using straws taken from the hollow shafts of rye grass.
  • 150ish paper circles cut from sturdy paper. I used the scraps of a previous project that used card stock. I also added some circles cut from tissue paper and wax paper, but I used those to double up on the sturdier stuff. You could also skip circles and make geometric shapes or flowers or something fun. In retrospect, circles seem a little boring now.
  • 1 lightweight wire circle. I went to the thrift store and bought an 18” paper lampshade for $1, then tore off all the paper. You could use a wreath form, a hula hoop, or maybe something from the garden center. Whatever it is, just make sure it lays in a perfectly flat circle. You could make your own out of a coat hanger or something but if it’s even a teensy bit off, it will throw off the balance of the final piece. So beware the non-symmetrical circle.
  • Bias tape, ribbon, or twine. If you use ribbon, make sure it is thin and flexible (satin would work better than grosgrain).
  • One thick needle and strong thread. I used dental floss. Upholstery thread would be fine.   
  • One pipe cleaner.
  • Accent flowers. I made mine from coffee filter flowers I had leftover from easter. You could use fiesta flowers made from tissue, or cupcake liners, or just buy some silk flowers at the dollar store. Anything lightweight will work.
Spiders and chains is the name for traditional Polish Christmas garland and is a forerunner to the paper chains we all made in kindergarten. In this case, it provides the basic framework for the pajaki. I am making mine by alternating small circles (spiders) and straws (chains). I made ten lengths or roughly 60” each.  If your ceilings are not so tall, you might want to cut that back a bit.
1. After finishing ten lengths of garland, I tied them all to a single pipe cleaner and wrapped it around the bottom of my chandelier.  If you don’t have a chandelier hanging around, put a thumbtack at the top of the doorway or something.  Do whatever you need to do to get them hanging upright. 2. Wrap the ribbon around the wire circle as tightly as possible. Secure with a dab of glue or knot in place accordingly. 3. Cut ribbons into 3” lengths and tie one to each garland in the same spot.
Moving one at a time, tie the 3” lengths of ribbon around the hoop. Skip from side to side with each knot. If you can imagine the wire circle was the face of a clock, start at 12, then skip to 6, then 3, then 9, then 1, and so on…. Does that make sense? I hope so.
The base is done! Now it’s time to embellish with flowers. I cut my flowers from pre-dyed coffee filters left over from other projects, plus a couple of cupcake liners stapled together (see here for more). You could use tissue paper or wrapping paper, or whatever you want. You could even go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of fake flowers. Your call, just make sure they are lightweight.
This Christmas, I hung my pajaki around an existing pendant light in my dining room by wrapping the pipe cleaner around point where the hanging wire meets the ceiling cap. It held just fine but I covered it with a thin strip of duct tape just be sure. If this were going to hang for more than a few weeks I would probably figure a way to cover the bare bulb, but for now I’m OK with it. Maybe next year I’ll come up with a better plan. For now, it’s a lovely mobile.
 It’s strange how something can look like Christmas and sunflowers at the same time.
Wesołych Świąt Bożego Narodzenia i Szczęśliwego Nowego Roku!
(Merry Christmas)

I Need to Ask You a Favor

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Certain people — grandmothers, eccentric aunts, and home insurance reps — are doing their darnedest to keep a single old fashioned holiday tradition alive: the Christmas card.  These days, in lieu of handwritten heart felt sentiments, many of us have taken to more impersonal e-greetings and family newsletters composed with long-winded, North Korean-like sanguinity. 
These are sad times for Christmas cards.
Seeing as I serve as Secretariat General of the Eccentric Aunt Club, I feel it my rightful honor – nay, duty –to keep this tradition going. I will make cards. I will purchase brightly colored envelopes. I will practice my penmanship until I my wrist grows weary with fatigue and collapses forward like a flappy ragdoll. Christmas cheer will spill forth from my heart, my butt, and my mailbox. Even if it kills me.
Is it disappointing to survey my mail at the end of every December and realize that I send far more than I receive? Yes. Do I let that stop me and my extensive collection of US Postal Service issued Kwanza stamps? Like Hell It Does.
Blitzen, bring on the glue sticks! We have envelopes to seal!

I try to keep samples of my cards each year, although that rarely happens. I either forget or spill Peppermint Schnapps on it, or more likely, end up using the sample to wrap a last minute gift card to Starbucks or something. 
Holiday cheaters tip: thoughtless and/or cheap and/or obligational gifts (read: $5 gift cards) come across a lot more genuine when delivered with something handmade. Like a card. Not a gift – a card. Look, everyone likes something homemade, but honestly, you don’t have to stay up half the night crocheting pot holders for your middle schooler’s teachers. For real. Listen, that woman has been teaching 130 kids a day for 18 years now. Do you know how many effing pot holders she has already? Buy her a cup of coffee. Can’t afford the coffee? Fair enough, just give her a homemade card and let her know she is important to you and your child, and that you appreciate the hard work she puts in each day. Because let’s face it; if it comes down to someone Feeling Important in the Life of a Child vs. Potholder –which one you think she is going to choose?
Sucks to be you right now, Potholder. 
Okay. About the card. Rest assured, no valuable books were harmed in the making of these cards. I don’t have a problem with people cutting up old/unreadable books but there is a freakishly high number of Librarians who read this blog and who believe otherwise and who like to send me scathing emails so hot and pointed they’de set underpants afire.  So let’s just say I used junk mail. Telephone books, and outdated text books, and yes – a few pages from an old Hardy Boys book that was literally crumbling at the corners. I tore them into trapezoid shapes, piled them up and pasted them down with rubber cement. That’s it.
I have a thing about mail. It comes from my father.
Do you send holiday cards? Are you thinking about it this year? If you do, then,Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I have a favor to ask. 
I would like you to add one more card to your list. This is the address:
Ed and Betty Vogel
425 E. Coleman Rd.
Clare, MI 48617
Just sign your name with love. No explanation needed. A handmade card would be beautiful, but any card would be nice.
See, this Christmas is likely to be Miss Betty’s last. She was recently diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. Her beautiful granddaughter – and my fellow craft blogger, Mrs. Greene— is brightening her spirits by asking as many people as possible to send her cards. I am asking you to do the same.  Take a moment to read more about it here, then get a card, grab a stamp, and send Miss Betty a smile.
OR BETTER YET, tell someone about it! Friends, neighbors, co-workers…a blog? A church group? Tell them to send a card too. Tell everyone you know. Go tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere. Go tell it one the mountain, and include THIS LINK.
 
Let’s show Miss Betty some love. Let’s share an act of kindness with a stranger and embrace the guts of what Christmas is all about. Let’s make sure her postal carrier needs a  Mack truck to deliver all that love and kindness to her front door.
Merry Christmas, Miss Betty.

The World’s Easiest Snowflake Ornaments

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Lace. Lace. Lace. I love lace. Always have. Granny crochet lace in particular.  That Duchess gal is doing a good job of making Chantilly lace popular again, which I am rather enjoying, although I fear it will never become massively popular because the good stuff is so darn expensive to make. Even when you buy it by the yard in the fabric store, it ain’t cheap. The good news is you can salvage great lace materials from old doilies in your Granny’s attic, or by taking apart garments from the thrift store. The number of early 90’s prom dresses featuring lace patches is nothing less than astounding.


Above is a sampling of my lace collection. Most of it would never be under consideration for this kind of project, but I have a few scraps that are too tattered to display. Not that I display a lot of lace in my house. I just like to burrow it away. Like a squirrel.

Like a granny squirrel.

Like a granny squirrel in an early 90’s prom gown.

Yeah. 

If you already own a jar of Mod Podge and have an old doily in the attic, you probably already have the materials to make these in your house. Even if you did have to buy all of them, you can still obtain all the materials for this project for well under $5. In my case, one $2.00 lace runner made 60 snowflakes. Yowza!

These require no special skills what-so-ever. Just mix the Mod Podge with water, dunk in the lace and let it soak up all the gluey Mod Podge wonder, then lay it flat to dry on wax paper. It is going to take a while to dry, especially if you are using a thick crochet lace (after it looks dry, you may need to flip it over and give it a few more hours to be sure).  Then, all you need to do is snip it apart, insert a hook or a loop of ribbon, and hang away!

Except for a little glitter, I didn’t dress these up at all, but you certainly could add some paint or beads or glue on some feathers…or….oh why didn’t I think of this BEFORE I took the pictures? What a fun project for a bunch of kids on a cold afternoon?

Okay, I know someone is going to ask this; Can I use regular white glue or starch instead of Mod Podge?

Yes. Sorta. White glue works fine but I like the mild gloss I get from using diluted Mod Podge. More important, Mod Podge has a varnish like quality that makes the final surface semi-water-resistant. If you want these ornaments to last for years and years, it’s worth the extra couple of bucks to buy the Mod Podge. Liquid starch is surprisingly hard to find these days (you can make your own), but it’s a no-no for ornaments that will hang on natural trees that get misted with water (the water is good for the tree — bad for the starch). Just the same, I’ll admit, there is a charming authenticity to old fashioned starch lace. You make the call!

So, who has granny with an attic full of tattered doilies to raid?


 

Five Ways to Thicken a Christmas Tree For Under $3

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I mentioned yesterday that I have decorated a lot of trees over the years. A few hundred, in fact. It used to be my job.  Most of them were decorated for a purpose— either to sell goods or create a home-like atmosphere in a non-homey location (example: an insurance broker’s lobby).  To be clear, I never designed the trees – I was just a worker bee. Very few of those trees were anything special. Budgets were tight and time was precious, but, after all those trees, I picked up a few tricks along the way. A lot of people would be surprised how fast, easy, and inexpensive it can be to fill a very large and otherwise-empty Christmas tree.
Before we go on any further, let’s be clear; there is no right way to decorate a tree. There is no wrong way either. I’m not trying to tell anyone how to do it. I’m just showing a few ways to thicken up a tree to bolster whatever decorations you already have. I like my trees big, thick and abundant. You might like something different. To each his own! 
There are a lot of ways to thicken a tree, but the basic concept is this: repeat a pattern. 
Pick one element and polka-dot it all over the tree. Lay that pattern under or over your regular ornaments and you will give a tree dimension. If you have the patience and pocket book to sandwich your regular ornaments between two ‘webs’ of pattern, even better. What I propose below are five ways to create inexpensive, high impact patterns. There are thousands more out there (I just couldn’t fit them in for demo photos last weekend).

Side Note: If you have 20 years of ornaments collected in a box already, you probably do not need this post. But if you are just a few years into carving out your Christmas traditions, and are looking for a few ways to make things look a little more abundant, keep going…

Tinsel Poufs ($3.00 a strand)
I think a lot of people are aware of the concept of ‘base ornaments’ (the first layer of ornaments that go on the tree, usually a series of solid colored mercury balls or some other repeating element that is impersonal or slightly less show-stopping). If you can afford to buy three dozen reflective gold or silver balls, go for it. The dollar store sells plastic ones cheap and plentiful. But….for a super-sparkly (and dirt cheap) alternative, buy a single strand of tinsel garland and snip it into small poufs. I like to buy the fattest garland I can find, cut it into 4” lengths, and then hot glue the tips together to form a doughnut. The little doughnuts slide nicely on to inside branches, providing a lovely, sparkly base for other ornaments.  
Note: The hot glue is important, not only because it forms the loop doughnut shape, but because it melts the tinsel in place and prevents it from falling off in little bits, which is critical for anyone who has children or animals in the house. Tinsel can cause considerable pain and damage if ingested – keep away from kiddos and fur babies at all times!
Pinecones (Free)
Pinecones. Pinecones. Pinecones. They make for  great base ornaments for folks who like a natural/rustic/ less is more look. One of the prettiest trees I ever saw was nothing but a beautiful spruce with white lights and pine cones. But for people like me who need some glitz, there is always the glittered pine cone. I make a batch each year. They look good in a basket on the table, or on the tree, or in a garland. Do I really need to tell anyone how to glitter a pinecone? If you answered yes, it means you are past due. Watch this video. Now get going.
Note: If you hate glitter because it gets everywhere, stick to fine glitter and mix it into the glue before you brush it on. It won’t sparkle quite as much, but it will lock in place for good.No shedding.
Note: Why not scent the pinecones before turning them into ornaments?
Sausage Ribbons ($2.99 per 10 yard roll)
Big fabulous bows are great on a Christmas tree. The problem is they are crazy expensive. Making big fat loopty-loos  is awesome, but they use up so much yardage that it’s easy to spend $10 or more on a single bow.  Honestly, did you ever notice how the craft and fabric stores hold bow-making demonstrations for free? Why—because they know as soon as it’s done you will walk over to the ribbon aisle and drop $50 in five minutes. Smarty pants!
Sausage ribbons are nice because they use far less ribbon and cover a lot more real estate. To make them, buy French ribbon (the stuff with the wires in the edges), cut into 20” -30” lengths, then wrap around a big fat marker (sort of like you would to curl your hair). Grab in the middle , twist on a hook or small piece of pipe cleaner, then latch on to the underside of one of the branches. Tada. One sausage curl looks pretty wimpy, but 10 or twelve scattered on a tree looks fabulous.  The curls give the tree a sense of motion. Almost perky looking, like someone curled its hair.
Note: To store, curl them up around your finger and secure with a bobby pin until next year.
Note: If you can’t find a good deal on French ribbon, many other kinds of ribbon can be curled using a hot curling iron. Some people even cut fabric on the bias to make their own ribbon. You tell me if it works.
Feathers ($2.00 a bag)
I am crazy about feathers on  Christmas trees.  Let’s be honest, I like feathers on anything, but white feathers on a Christmas tree are just about the most gorgeous thing under the sun. I stole this idea from a tree that used to stand in one of the lobbies of the Four Seasons in Chicago, only they used big fat ostrich plumes (cost about $2-$5 a piece) whereas I buy regular craft store feathers for $2 a bag. Just wrap the bottom 1” of the stem with a 3” pipe cleaner, then wrap it around the tip of a branch. You would be shocked how much dimension the feathers give to the tree. Between the base coat of ornaments on the bottom, a handful of favorite/unique ornaments all around, and a coat of feathers on top, any tree will look like a million bucks.
Note: I like to point the feathers upward because it makes the tree look happy. But if you use lots of white feathers and point them downward, it honestly looks like snow. Big poufy, magical, Liberace snow.
Asterisk Ornaments ($1.99 bag of 50 white pipe cleaners)
For the hipster George Jetson type, there are always asterisk ornaments. Just take 5 pipe cleaners, cut them in half, bundle nine of the stems together, then use the tenth to twist them all together. One by one, pull each leg down in a different direction. That’s it. They will stick to any tree without hooks, but if you want them toward the tips, fold a crook in one of the stems and use it for a hook. It doesn’t get any easier than this!
Note: I like all white, but I have seen these done in silver on a sparse tree and it looked pretty amazing. I’m also thinking these would be fun for kids to make in many colors. Cindy mentioned in the comments on Facebook yesterday about a skinny Christmas tree covered with stuff her kid’s made – 1) WHAT A GREAT IDEA and 2) wouldn’t it be fun to accent a kid’s art tree with a bunch of multi colored asterisk ornaments? Too fun. TOO FUN I SAY.
Note: These will bend in storage if you aren’t careful. It takes less time to flatten them nicely than to individually straighten each leg.
Other tricks….
Beaded Garland
A lot of people avoid the stuff because they don’t know how to hang it. Here is the thing, don’t just balance it on the branches or wrap it around the tree;  lay the stuff out on the floor and twist a wire hook every 20” (30” or longer if you like the big swoopy Victorian look), and hang the hooks from the undersides of branches. Cheap and effective. A little goes a long way.
Size Matters
If you like a rich, abundant look, get a smaller tree. The thicker you lay on the ornaments, the more  copious your ornaments will appear.  Likewise, if you take the less-is-more approach, get the biggest, fattest tree your room and wallet can afford.
Lights
The way people put lights on a tree is a highly personal matter, but I saw this tip about vertical strands in Real Simple a few years ago and it totally rocked my world.
Pedestals
Christmas trees have a lot more presence when you set them on a small table. You can make a small tree seem HUGE by placing it on top of a 30” dresser. This also makes it easier to access presents Christmas morning, but we are just talking decorative stuff  today. If you have an old end table in your basement (or can pick one up at the thrift store), think about using it under the tree.  Just cover it with a tree skirt or a lovely quilt and call it a day.    
***
Okay, that’s about all I know. Now I want to hear what you have to say; what is your favorite tip for decorating the tree?

My trees. All three of them.

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This weekend was an exercise in elf-like triumph.

Putting up trees, making a pajaki, ornaments, wreaths….candles blazing and Donny and Marie blasting out Jingle Bells all through the night. Anything that stood still has now been tinseled, feathered, or sequined. Only the bathroom remains untouched.

Not long, Bathroom, not long.

I’ll be posting pictures and projects in the weeks ahead, but I want take a minute to say this one thing now and get it out of the way because some people in real life think this is not normal and I am tired of explaining it. So let’s just say it now: I have multiple Christmas trees.

To be precise, I have three Christmas trees; a traditional green, pink flocked, and a smaller silver tree, all of them synthetic.  Some people don’t like this. Some people insist that the only Christmas tree worth having is one big natural evergreen, tall and fragrant, bedecked in generations of lovingly curated ornaments. I have had a couple of people tell me my way of doing this with multiple fake trees is flat out wrong. They say that I am buying in to the “War on Christmas” by furthering commercialism and distancing myself from traditions of Yore. And they might be right. But at this point in my life, do I give a rip?

*crickets*

There is a time for harkening back to Yore. There is a place for Tradition.  That place in not my living room. I love it hanging with Yore and Tradition in other people’s living rooms. Just not mine.  Trust me, it’s better for everyone involved.

See, the thing is, five years ago, if you had told me I would have not only one but three Christmas trees in my home, I would have written you off as crazy. As much as I enjoy the holidays, I have not always liked trees, at least not in my home. I like wreaths and garlands and the general idea of Christmas spirit. I like holiday parties and carolers and the general concept of brotherhood of man. But Christmas trees? 
Meh…
For one thing, Christmas trees used to make me a sad. For a number of years growing up my father refused to have a Christmas tree in the house because it reminded him of my Mom, who loved, loved, decorating for Christmas. After she died the very thought of opening those boxes was too painful for either one of us to bear.  And frankly, Christmas was never his thing anyway. One time when I was away he just went and threw everything out with the trash. Sometimes I wish I had those ornaments, then, other times, I think how thankful I am that I don’t have to drudge up all that emotional baggage every December. That kind of sentiment weighs far heavier than any fruitcake.
And, for another thing, I was burned out on Christmas for a while there. Until a couple years ago I used to be one of those people who got paid to put up other people’s Christmas trees (word up: not nearly as swell as it sounds). It was a lot of late nights standing in bank lobbies holding extension chords between my teeth, or standing on restaurant bar tops on Thanksgiving morning, using zip ties to attach garland to ceiling fans. No sentiment there—just some balls and bows and religiously ambiguous tree toppers. No doubt, this is why I love my hippo.
To the best of my estimation, excluding the homes of friends and family, I have set up over 300 Christmas trees. This includes one weekend at a department store where my only job was to string lights on 43 trees. The bows were another persons job. And the garland, another. And the base ornaments, another. And the eye-level “razzle ornaments” belonged to another. And the eye level “dazzle ornaments” belonged to another. And another. And another, and so on and so on. Don’t get me wrong — it was a great job and I was lucky to have it, but you can imagine how my current three trees seems like nothing compared to the past. My Yore might be different from your Yore. I hope we can be cool with that.

I think everyone should consider multiple trees. Maybe one to host a collection of ornaments, and maybe just one because it smells good. Or it lights up a dark corner. Or because you feel like having it around. There is no law that says a person is allotted one tree in life and I am not about to follow someone else’s arbitrary rule just because it is what they know to be familiar.

My house. My Christmas. My trees. All three of them.

🙂

Old Timey Mushroom Wreath

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In my ongoing effort to expand my Christmas décor with non-Christmassy things, AND learn a thing or two about new Christmas traditions, I discovered that mushrooms are an ancient symbol of good luck in many  parts of the world. Get that? Mushrooms. They are not just for pizza anymore. I also happen to think mushrooms are super cute and stuff and will look good on my door all the way through February and beyond. Double stuff woot!
I had seen red and white toadstools used as a motif on ornaments and cards at German Christmas markets, but I did not know why. So I went a huntin’. This is some of the delightfully weird information I found:

  • The red and mushrooms, aka Amanita muscaria, aka fly agaric, aka Champignon, are known for being highly poisonous and for having psychedelic properties. Eaten fresh they could easily kill you, but dry them out all winter, and, well…
  • Amanitas are almost exclusively found growing at the base of coniferous trees. Because of their close proximity, ancient pagans used the dried Amanitas to adorn pine branches to celebrate winter solstice, a practice which later evolved into decorating Christmas trees. In other words, Amanitas were the first Christmas ornament. Who knew? 
  • The tradition of using green, red and white as designated Christmas colors comes from the evergreen tree and the red and white mushrooms underneath.
  • According to Wikipedia, Santa Claus’s red and white costume is inspired by Amanita mushrooms. Warning, this part gets a little weird; “The idea of Santa Claus and tradition of hanging stockings over the fireplace is based centrally upon the fly agaric mushroom itself. With its generally red and white color scheme, he argues that Santa Claus’s suit is related to the mushroom. He also draws parallels with flying reindeer: reindeer had been reported to consume the mushroom and prance around in an intoxicated manner afterwards.  American ethnopharmacologist Scott Hajicek-Dobberstein, researching possible links between religious myths and the red mushroom, notes, “If Santa Claus had but one eye [like Odin], or if magic urine had been a part of his legend, his connection to the Amanita muscaria would be much easier to believe.” Wow. Way to be weird, Wikipedia.
There are several books devoted to exploring the ties between ancient Christianity and mushrooms. I’m not buying any of them (literally), but it’s an interesting subject. You decide for yourself. In the meantime, I’m making a wreath!
This isn’t much of a tutorial. These little Styrofoam mushrooms came with stems on the bottom that made it easy to pierce them through a wreath base. After I painted a few of them red and white, I just stuck them in and added a little silicone adhesive to help with stability. That was about it. After it dried, I filled the gaps with some reindeer moss (how appropriate) from  the dollar store. Simple and abundant.  
Where did you get the mushrooms? Floral supply places will have them, or you can get them online. I got these on clearance from The Pottery when I was in Virginia last year. A year ago, if you were within 100 miles of Williamsburg I would tell you to make the trek to shop there, but as I understand, The Pottery recently moved and lost it’s friendly-craft-supply-warehouse-with-rock-bottom-prices way. This makes me sad. For many years, it was by far my all-time favorite craft store. Sad face. Does anyone else know of a beyond fabulous craft supply warehouse worth visiting? I might need to make a road trip.