The New 31 Flavors

The Dirty Girl Scout

“Thing is, no one really knows what smurf tastes like.”
– Overhead on the street yesterday morning.

And you know something? They are right. Nobody knows the true taste of a smurf.

This prompted many questions in my mind…Who would eat a smurf? Who would serve a smurf? Where can I buy one? Can you cut it with a fork? Does it taste like chicken? You know, they always say new and exotic meats “taste just like chicken” but then one time I ate raccoon in ketchup and it certainly did not taste like chicken. It tasted like straight up raccoon.

I no longer like ketchup.

I digress…back to the smurf….so I posted the quote on facebook, and lo, thirty minutes later, Kelly informs me that “smurf” is a flavor of ice cream.

Ice cream!? No kidding. This prompts many more questions in my mind….Which came first, the flavor or the name? Whose job is it to name ice creams? Where does one apply for this job? I love ice cream and naming things more than, oh, um, ANYTHING. Where do I sign up?

So, in the off chance someone reading this blog works in the ice cream business and is in a position to hire, I am offering up a little Whitman sampler of my boundless potential as a professional ice cream namer. Here are some of my favorite ice cream combonations with nifty new names.

The *New* 31 Flavors  o-o-o-o-o

1. Release the Kracken – Mexican chocolate fudge ripple with pretzels and roasted peanuts.

2. Jive Turkey – cinnamon French vanilla with apple pie filling, peppered with brown sugar pecans.

3. The Elvis – banana with peanut butter and bacon bits.

4. Dirty Girl Scout – dark chocolate with essence of mint and olive oil.

5. Dancing Zorbas  – frozen Greek yogurt with blueberries and mint.

6. Lady Di – rose petal mouse with strawberry swirls.

7. Pippi Longstocking  – fig with lemon zest, drizzled with warm caramel.

8. Kentucky Woman – sweet cream with a hint of bourbon and sprinkled with cornflakes. PS: I’m pretty sure someone needs to open an ice cream shop where all the flavors are named after Neil Diamond songs. I’m sort of shocked this hasn’t happened already. Pish Pish. Let’s get on it, people.

9. Bobaloo! – frozen banana custard with sweetened black beans.

10. Good Morning America – sweet cream topped with sliced bananas and cheerios. BTW: have you ever had cherrios on ice cream? It’s amazing. I’ll eat cheerios on anything. Cheerios on steak sounds pretty good to me.

11. Memoirs of a Geisha  – cheesecake with a hint of wasabi.

12. Peppermint Wizard – pink peppermint swirled with sweet cream and rainbow sprinkles.

13. The Color of money – concrete mint yoghurt with dark chocolate shavings.

OK, so I only made it to 13. Fail 🙁
Y’all chime in the comments and see if we can come up with 31 flavors!


  1. Anonymous says

    our local ice cream place has a special called the “Little leaguer” that is chocolate and orange sherbert with gummi worms. It’s gross but the kids love it!

    Also think you should name one after lola! something butterscotch i imagine!

  2. says

    How bout this…

    Tarzan + Jane –> Banana Ice Cream with Shredded Coconut, Chocolate/Caramel Swirls, and Acai Berries.
    {coconut and acai is found in rainforest!}

    Fun brainstorming activity! Ur blog is super sparkly cool!

    Love Laurie from Scene of the Grime

  3. says

    This is AWESOME, I wish I could come out of my Benadryl-induced haze to come up with something clever. I just wanted to add that cheerios on peanut butter sandwiches =epic win. Pretty freaking stoked to hear that they are also wonderful on ice-cream.

  4. Samster says

    My old roomate and I used to make GWAR ice cream by smashing up ice cream cones into rocky road (you know, like the clown cone sundaes?) We were such badasses!

  5. says

    Piggy’s Passion–pralines and cream ice cream swirled with caramel and hot fudge, reeses peanut butter cups and heath bar crunch!

  6. says

    @Katie: How about Benadryl Haze ice cream? Strawberry and benadryl flavored with maybe a touch of absinthe. I’ll share the royalties with you. 😉

  7. says

    Granny’s Delight: butter brickle with a rum raisin swirl.

  8. says

    Milky Weigh: Vanilla with chocolate, Nougat and caramel.

  9. says

    Yum-Yum (The Mikado reference anyone?): orange blossom ice cream, crumbled fortune cookies, and matcha powder.

  10. says

    Yall are making me hungry! Orange blossom? Sounds divine! Heck even Emma’s Bendryl haze sounds pretty tasty right about now! (good idea btw, Emma. I for one still love my cough drop popsicles!)

  11. says

    the neil diamond ice creamery wouldn’t be complete without CHERRY CHERRY!

    my friend tim and i wanted to open a coffee shop with a ralph macchiato-an origami crane floating on the foam…i bet you could turn that into a bitchin’ ice cream flavor…

    and my word verification ‘zonglion’ would be a butterscotch iceream with wafer cookies around the outside of the dish.

  12. says

    All of these are hilarious! And it’s kind of amazing how thoughtfully the flavors are composed…do we all like ice cream a tiny bit, or what? Peaches, your list is so delectable. You really need to create some ice cream recipes for real, for real.

    Let me see, what shall I contribute? The Bird Brain. Eggnog ice cream, with sunflower seeds and little balls of chocolate-covered suet.

  13. debra says

    Please do get these into production so that one day I can walk up to the counter at my local ice cream joint and say,”Release the Cracken! And make it a large!”

  14. Anonymous says

    Down On Me…Janis Joplin inspired peach ice cream, with granola and a Southern comfort caramel swirl

  15. says

    Most importantly, is smurf ice cream blue? Secondly, when will you be opening said Neil Diamond ice cream store? If and when you do, I will give you free advertising on my blog forever!

    xoxo Mary Jo

  16. says

    I’ll take a double scoop of Peppermint Wizard, please! Yum 🙂

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