Sequins Never Hurt Anybody

At the risk of sounding like a total scrooge, I am going to declare something controversial: I’m giving up on pumpkin carving.

*Wave of festive horror goes here.*

I know. Don’t be ticked. It’s not that I don’t appreciate a beautifully carved pumpkin, it’s just that I would rather leave it to the professionals. Sort of like electrical installation or septic tank cleaning. Sure I could handle it, but it wouldn’t turn out well. And I might do some harm in the process. I mean, why risk it? 

Plus, pumpkin carving smells bad and I always end up bleeding. Why do I keep on going back to the well, year after year?

If eating cereal smelled bad and made you bleed, you would give up cereal, no?

If listening to Freebird smelled bad and made you bleed, I’m thinking you would give it up, along with Lynyrd Skynyrd in general. Am I right?

Of course right.

I’m sticking a carrot in the nose and calling it a day. Leave the fancy crap to the professionals and I’ll stick to my sequins.

Sequins never hurt anybody.


  1. Kathy says

    The pumpkin looks perfect exactly as you have it! And if man hadn’t invented sequins I’m almost sure that God would have changed raindrops to look like them! So tell any nay-sayers a big “So There”!

  2. Kathryn says

    I like looking at others neat creations, but have never been good at pumpkin carving and we used to get the little pumpkins that were 2 for $1 and paint them, but Iike the idea of adding glitter too. Glitter makes everything better.

  3. Glo says

    Oh, no, don’t give up! Next thing we know, you’re wearing elastic waist jeans and driving a minivan!!!

  4. nutbirds says

    Oh, my…. Pumpkin carving has evolved into a real art form. It is probably best to bow out unless you have little kids that will be impressed with any effort.? The best pumpkin I ever saw was a small one. A second grader took an old handkerchief from her father, cut a hole for the stem, cut two holes for eyes and made a pumpkin ghost. It won the prize, beating out my son’s pumpkin that was a good impression of the principal.

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