Patterns

Anti-Establishment Christmas

I had to wear a coat today.

A real coat. This means I am in the middle of a raging case of PCS.

What is PCS? Good question.

PCS stands for Peri-Christmas Spirit. It’s sort of like Peri-Menopause but without the hormonal rage and unwanted hair. PCS comes with an unrequited longing for whiskey sours, evergreen branches, and buttery things that taste like hot sparkles.

I think PCS is my body’s way of fighting off my internal dread of winter. It’s trying to find something good to look forward to, like the holidays. Christmas is still months away but I find myself seeking it out in weird places. Like Pinterest. I’m on a plaid and gold pin binge right now. Not plaid and gold Christmas ornaments, just plaid and gold anything that reminds me of a Christmas ornament. And yes, there is a difference.

This mens shirt (Riccardo Tisci for Givenchy from a couple years ago) pretty much sums up what my PCS is feeling right now: loud and spiky. Studded. Sparkling. Brady Bunch seventies style Scotch red plaid. But better.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. An anti-establishment Christmas.

Just in case you can’t read the text:

“Our Post-Grad Slacks have soul. And they come in a mighty medley of plaids, stripes, checks and solids. Press-Free. Talon Zipper. From $10.00. Slightly higher in the waist. For retailers, write h.i.s, 16 E. 34 Street, N.Y. 10016”

That’s right folks. Send them a letter to find out where to get your very own mighty medley of anti-establishment plaid pants. Because, you know, the little drummer boy needs a new pair of power slacks. Slightly higher in the waist, of course.

Polka Dots: The New Chevron

by PEACHES 12 Comments

My first grade teacher, Miss DeMoulpied, was beautiful. Stunning I would say. She had big and bouncy Miss America hair with a waxy rhubarb smile that enveloped half of her face. Each morning, her classroom commenced with her at the piano while leading the group in a patriotic song, displaying the sort of enthusiastic showmanship one might expect from a professional cheerleader, or worse, a giant faux-fur mascot. With her elbows wide and flailing, we followed her lead and marched in place at our desks.

You’re a grand ol’ flag! You’re a high flying flag! And forever in peace may you wave!

Miss DeMoulpied was also short tempered, insecure, overly-flirtatious with our fathers, and far too-fond of Jessica McClintock perfume. I know that was her scent because one time she took it out of her purse and spritzed it on Matthew Hendrick’s tongue when he refused to quit eating his own boogers.

They are mine! You can’t have them! I’LL EAT THEM IF I WANT TO!

Sigh.

I loved her more than words can say.

Of all her charming idiosyncrasies, most notable was Ms. DuCharm’s fondness for polka dots. It was her signature. Not a day passed when she did not sport a polka dot sweater, pant set or coffee mug. Even her pencils had polka dots. Decades later, every time I see a polka dotted something-er-other, I sniff the object in hopes it will carry the unmistakable, powdery aristocracy of Jessica McClintock Eau de Parfum.

I’m still searching.

Polka dots have never gone out of fashion, but it appears they are coming into fashion in a big way. Patterns never die but they certainly come in cresting waves of popularity: a few years ago it was ikat, then it was ombre, then it was chevron, now I think it might be polka dots. Or at least I hope so.

There are different sorts of polka dots though. Not just any sort of polka dot will do. My favorite dots are small white polka dots on a dark background, or, what I call wonky dots–evenly spaced dots that appear to be slightly scattered off the grid. They look less perfect. A little nervous. Maybe even, dare I say, unstable. But that’s just me, I always like the crazy one. What’s your favorite sort of polka dot?

Candy Striper

by PEACHES 12 Comments

Note, this post is titled Candy Striper not Candy STRIPPER. That’s a different blog folks, different blog.

If you didn’t notice, I like stripes. A lot.

I’m very particular about what sort of stripe though –it’s almost like a mathematical formula…

Colored stripes of equal width with alternating white stripes = Good

Skinny stripes of varying width and color = Headache

Dull and neutral stripes paired with bright and vivid florals = Amazeballs

It’s like science.

Candy stripes, or as my father called them “barber shop quartet stripes” are always, always good. Some folks think they should be relegated to the holiday candy canes, but I enjoy a good peppermint stripe any time of the year, on anything I can get my hands on!

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