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Archives for April 2012

How to Hang a Picture Without a Hanger

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This is one of those posts I hesitate to write because this may already be common knowledge. But, I just polled a couple people and asked them if they knew about this, and both of them looked at me like I had horns. So. At the risk of being redundant, I am sharing this one. 

No recollection where I learned this trick, but I use it once a month or more (yes, I hang a lot of pictures). I sort of assumed everybody knew about it, and yet, I always see people trolling the thrift store frame section and flipping each frame and looking for brackets and hangers. If they only knew….

Materials:

  • Frame with a cardboard cardboard kickstand (allowing the picture to prop up on a table but not on a wall)
  • Scissors
  • Ribbon or Twine

I left some tails on the ribbon because I like to see it peeping out the top like bunny ears, but you could certainly skip that part. I get it. Not everyone likes bunnies.


These clowns hang over my kitchen door. The one on the left looks a little like Columbo. Then again, so does the one on the right. That Peter Falk knew how to get around.


 

Friday Flowers: Fiesta Flowers

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Festive much?

I finally got a grip on how to make tissue paper flowers. It took a while, and a lot of torn tissue, but thanks to some great directions from Vallen Queen and my friend Tracy, I finally have it down. 

Tip I wish someone told me ten years ago: When it comes to the separating and fluffing, only touch the inner 3″ of the flower. Pretend the outside perimeter is covered with toxic ooze. Did you ever jump around on the furniture pretending the floor was covered with molten lava?  It’s like that. But with tissue. It prevents tearing and tissue fatigue. Omg did I just type tissue fatigue?

Kiki let me stick them up on her doorway until they go outside. I just used a simple piece of scotch tape to stick the top of the flower to the door frame, and BAM. That’s it!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

  

$1.50 Curtain Skirt in 3 Minutes

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Bad News: My ultra fabulous thrift store skirt did not fit. I could get it on and button it up, but my hips bust out from under the pleated waistband and gave me the look of a rainbow striped Elizabethan bar wench.

Hot.

Good News: The skirt only cost a $1.50, so I didn’t mind experimenting. I cut a slit up the side, poked a couple holes in the waistband and slipped through a tension rod. TaDa it’s a cafe curtain.

I’m too lazy to hem today, so I just used my sharpest scissors to get a clean edge. As much as I like to sew, I like no-sew projects much more. This took a whopping three minutes. I feel so efficient.

Update

Katpawz mentioned a great idea in the comment section: “To cut down on the ravels – before cutting the slits for the curtain rod – place a piece of transparent packing tape over your future cut site and then cut through the tape and the fabric.” Thanks Katpawz, wish I had thought of that!

Best part is now I can see my nifty skirt/curtain all the time. It won’t be stuck in the back of a closet 363 days of the year. And, if I ever lose 20 pounds and want to wear it as a skirt, I can just yank out the tension rod, slip the side and be ready to go. Now I’m wondering how many pleated 80’s skirts are floating around the thrift store just begging to be made into cafe curtains?

Top Ten Reasons Why Barbra Streisand Is Better Than All Of Us

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From Up The Sandbox, 1972

You don’t even want to know how much I love Barbra Streisand.

 It’s sort of a weird thing. 

Not as weird as my Mandy Patinkin thing, but it’s pretty weird. 

One time I saw Mandy Patinkin and Patti Lupone in concert and I pretended the whole time that it was Barbra singing instead of Patti. 

Sorry, Patti. 
And Barbara surpasses all. 

Because today is her 70th birthday, and because it occurred to me that I never shared my love for her with you before, I thought today would be a great day for this post.
Top Ten Reasons Why Barbra Streisand Is Better Than All Of Us
1. She is beautiful without being pretty. In fact, I’ll take it further: Barbra Streisand taught me to hate the word pretty. It is the sort of word you slap on something or someone who conforms to something expected. Something convenient. Something pretty.  Newsflash: Who gives a crap? Let’s have something beautiful. Something messy. Something flawed. Let’s have something we have never seen before.  If you are one of those people who think a person needs to possess a certain sort of face shape, or hair color, or body type to be considered gorgeous, you need to spend more time with Barbra. (I suggest you start with Color Me Barbra.)
2. She hates waste. She even got rid of the extra A in her name, turning Barbara to Barbra. The Lady runs a tight ship!
3. Talented much? Babs was the first person ever to receive a Grammy, an Emmy, an Oscar and a Tony. Her Tony was a non-competitive award for Star of the Decade, which is why many people attribute this first to others (such as Rita Moreno). So lets set the record straight: Barbra came first.

4. She is stepmother to Josh Brolin, who is arguably The Cutest Professional Bad Guy Ever. He also hosted Saturday Night Live last weekend. You should watch it. 
 
5. She went to high school with Neil Diamond. I can’t even talk about this. You know how I feel about Neil Diamond.
6. She had a fling with Elvis. Actually, that’s only a rumor. Although, it is widely reported that she wanted Elvis to star with her in A Star Is Born, which, if you have seen the movie, is hard to imagine.
7. She makes long fingernails look good. The story is that Dolly Parton composed Nine to Five by running her acrylic nails together like a comb on a washboard, and I’m pretty sure Barbra composes her music the same way: talon tapping. No proof on my part, I just know these things.

8. She can cook. In fact, she likes to cook. And she used to have a kitchen wallpapered in RED PATENT LEATHER. And her White Bean Chilli Recipe will knock your socks off. No seriously, it’s good. 
 
9. She gets stage fright. She has performed in front of millions of people and still gets scared. This makes me feel better about my inability to ask strangers for directions. Yes, it’s not really the same thing, but it makes me feel better. 
10. She is a badass philanthropist. I’m pretty sure most celebrities can site their charitable endeavors, but most of them pale in comparison the time, money and devotion Barbra has invested in a variety of charitable causes. Alone, the Streisand Foundation has given millions of dollars through thousands of grants to nonprofit organizations and she has raised many millions more through her performances.
Side note: I have a friend who used to work for a non-profit organization in LA, where, reportedly, Barbra would occasionally call to ask for lists of names and phone #s of people who recently donated. She would just call them. Thank them and stuff. No biggie, just, Hey is Barbra! Thanks for making a difference. Have a great day! 
One lucky lady got a song on her answering machine. My friend said it was Evergreen but he might have been making that up because he knows I’ll start singing it upon mention. I don’t care. Still, every time I write a check or drop a dime in a bucket for a good cause, I do it because 1. It is the right thing to do, and because 2. What goes around comes around and if I have a fantasy voice mail from Barbra coming, it’s going to sound just like this:

For Rainbow Likers

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Major score at the thrift store this weekend. My haul included a Marimekko print comforter (in my all time fav Uniko pattern, no less), an ultra rad rainbow skirt (silk!), and spanking new pair of orange leather driving moccasins. Y’all, I don’t even own a car, but I think it might be a sin to take a pass on orange leather.

Grand total: $8.85. 

Dude behind the counter looked at me with his one good eye and declared “You must like rainbows. I can tell!” then proceeded to try and sell me electric blue guitar from behind the counter. And not electric like it plugs in, I mean electric like it’s Cookie Monster color. 

I may be needing guitar lessons. 

Royal Blue And Barbara Cartland Pink

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Vogue Magazine documented every outfit Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth wore for 12 months.  This is what they concluded:

Blue is royal for a reason.

Beige, not so much.


Personally, I like to see the queen in pink. Barbara Cartland Pink, to be precise.

Note, Barbara Cartland, world famous and prolific romance novelist, was Princess Diana’s Step-Grandmother, which makes Barbara Cartland practically royal herself. Sort of. If she were actually related. And Ol’ Babs wasn’t dead. But still, the lady knew how to rock some pink.

Check it. And yes, this is her singing.

Happy Weekend, Dream Lover.


Friday Flower: Tissue Pom Failure

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Confession: I cannot make tissue poms.

Also known as tissue pomanders or fiesta flowers, it’s probably the easiest and most popular, readily available craft idea on the internet, involving nothing more than tissue paper and a simple accordion fold…and yet, I cannot make them.

At least, I cannot make them nice. 

They come out squashed and torn and look like someone sat on them, or something one might use to scrub feet.

I have a similar relationship with rice. I can’t make a decent bowl of Uncle Ben’s rice to save my life. And believe me — I have tried.

Rice hates me.

And so do tissue poms.

Sad face.

But this year, with a major Cinco de Mayo kick in full swing, I am determined to make some colorful tissue flowers. I was going to share them today, but alas, they came out squished, torn and crappy.

Again.

Double sad face.

My friend Ana is a kindergarten teacher, who says she can get 5-year-olds to make them as long as she uses waxed tissue, which is sturdier than regular tissue. I’m going to pick some up later today and attempt again this weekend. I’ll let you know how it goes.  Fingers crossed.

Lola decided to inspect my work. Then she swat it down and tore it up while I was in the bathroom this morning. Seriously? Even my cat disapproves of my tissue pom making skills.

Wish me luck!

The Not-So-Somber Sombrero

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Courtesy of That Cute Site

Cinco de Mayo is just around the corner and I am fixin’ up around the house. The holiday also happens to coincide with Lola’s birthday, so obviously, it must be unparalleled in cuteness.

I’m thinking sombreros.



1. rainbow  2. sequin sombreros  3. red and green sequin 4. velvet red and green  5. straw with green trim

Wouldn’t one of these look festive hanging on the wall year round? What? Too Taco Bell?

Reading Material

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Guess what came in my mailbox?  Thank you amazon!

Now that summer reading season is upon us, the prowl for good books has begun. I need something to snack on. Any recommendations? My lit tastes are pretty diverse, so long as it doesn’t include teenage vampires or a Jonas brother.

So what do you say: read anything good lately?

Kitchen Chronicle: Bag Cache

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So here is the thing: I hate plastic baggies.
Yes, they are practical. Yes, they come in handy. Yes, I still use them from time to time…BUT…if I can get the job done with something else, or better – something snazzy, you better believe I am going to do it. And now, after years of avoidance, I have amassed quite a collection; everything from tiny paper French fry bags, to over-sized brown wax paper, to old fashioned red-and-white candy striped paper bags. And that’s just what I keep in easy reach  – you should see where I store the second stringers.
Yes, they cost a bit more than the typical giant box of clear baggies, but not nearly as much as you would think. Especially if you buy in bulk. Plus, packing my lunch is far more appealing when it looks pretty – I imagine they save me some money in that regard.
This cache (is that the term? Bag cache? Or Bag sorter thing? Or Bag thing? Someone needs to come up with a better word)…anyway, this bag thing hangs on the wall above my kitchen counter. Makes for easy grabbing, plus, I can see my beloved fancy bags at all times. They are too pretty to hide.
I made this out of a wooden desk organizer I purchased at Ikea ($14 I think?), painted it, then attached cup hooks to the bottom for hanging measuring spoons. 
That’s another thing that grinds on my nerves: stacking measuring spoons and cups. I’m always too messy to stack them neatly in the drawer, so then they scatter, so then they take up half the drawer and I can’t close it…I know, I know, cry me a river. But you guys, life has been far easier since I started hanging them. You should totally try it. You should also get cute measuring cups. Cooking with cute utensils is far more fun.
***In the family