This. This man.
This man dances with racoons.
Honestly. How does anyone get that cool? I mean, cool enough to pull off a Santa beard AND a pet racoon?
I have been known to dance to Aretha Franklin music on my porch, but never with a pet raccoon. I didn’t even know that was a thing. The only guy I ever heard of having a pet raccoon also kept a pet skunk and made beef jerky in a garbage can, so you know he wasn’t quite right. But this man. This man knows how to live.
Let’s dance!
Okay, when I say all-purpose, I mean all purpose. Hands, body, feet, counter-tops, laminate flooring, aluminum mailboxes….one time I ran out of toothpaste and used it instead. Probably not my smartest idea, and I wouldn’t advise it, but you know what? It got the job done. I probably could have made due with baking soda but that wouldn’t have been an interesting story.
Speaking of uninteresting stories; I did a lot of scrubbing this weekend. A lot. First it was the pot smeared with scorched polyester tar, then it was the grimy bits of crud along the kitchen baseboards, then it was the labels on a bunch of ceramic stuff from the thrift store. You get the idea. It’s a great way to ruin a manicure and pickle my fingers in the process. Fortunately, I started making my own all-purpose scrub a few months ago and it’s great stuff. Aggressive on dirt — soft on hands. Is that an ad slogan? I think that’s an ad slogan. Can you tell I watch too much TV? I watch too much TV.
Okay, you get the idea.
This recipes is a hybrid between my foot scrub and this one I found on Pinterest. The key here is to use a ‘soft soap’ (just a moisturizing dish soap) with some sort of oil in it. This one has cocoa butter built in and smells a bit like Malibu rum. So that’s fun. There is something magical about oil-based detergents. Don’t ask me what, but it cuts through stuff like no other soap. And yeah, it works on your hands too. Adding extra tea tree oil is optional but I use it with cleaning as often as possible — it cuts grease, prevents soap-scum (or any sort of mold/fungal-based build up), works as a pest-deterrent, and yeah, it smells amazing.
Are you a mosquito magnet? Meeeee toooooo! I used to have to spritz myself with bug repellant every morning in the summer until I started adding a few drops of tea tree oil to my shampoo. I don’t smell it in my hair but the bugs do and they leave me alone. I haven’t been bitten once this summer. This is also great for little kids who are prone to head lice. And hey, know what’s more fun than childhood head lice? Adult head lice. If you travel a lot or use public transportation, this is a legit concern. And don’t even get me started on the bed bug epidemic…
Tea tree is inexpensive (I’m still working on a $5 bottle I bought 3 years ago) and you don’t have to go to a pretentious health food store to buy it. You can usually find it in the pharmacy or grocery store in the first aid section (it’s a natural disinfectant and anti-inflammatory too). It’s also great for acne, thrush, athlete’s foot…and a bunch of other stuff.
I am going to stop talking now because I think you will assume the tea tree oil people are paying me to say this stuff. They’re not. It’s just good stuff and I feel like talking about it.
Okay…back to the mix! After it’s combined, I like to mix it in a covered sugar bowl and keep it by the sink at all times. It gets used a couple times a week, if not more. You can pick up a sugar bowl at a thrift store for a buck at any time, and for a scoop, just cut the handle off a plastic spoon. Or you fingers. Whatever. It’s your sugar bowl. Live it up!
Seven essential books on optimism.
The Walker Texas Ranger house is for sale. You know, just in case!
This laundry room. Mind = Blown.
Listen to James Gandolphini reading Maurice Sendak’s, The Night Kitchen. I dare to not melt.
Cheap jars. Lurve me some cheap jars!
My BFF (who also happens to be a pediatrician) posted this link on Facebook about keeping kids in rear-facing car seats as long as possible. I don’t even have a kid, but I read it and now I find myself looking in other people’s cars for forward facing babies (holy cats, there are a lot!)
Yeah, I don’t think we have talked about Carlos Danger enough.
One of my favorite Mad Men is playing Mr. Darcy. Why, oh why, am I not in Minneapolis to see this?!
I am not big on self portraits, but I am seriously tempted to do one of these in scotch tape.
Did you know that a yellow ribbon on a dog leash means that dog needs extra space (ie. keep your dog and kid away)? Great idea. Likewise, I wish someone would start up with green ribbons so I would know that dog is friendly. (Or they could just do this).
Overstock has some amazing ikat rugs. Even the big ones are under $300. Bargain city, yo.
According to the Royal Name Generator, my name is Lady Godiva of the Highlands. What’s yours?
Guess who decided it would be a good idea to paint the backsides of all her doors hot pink?
It’s not a very good picture. I’ll have better when I finish up in the bathroom. Right now I’m too enthralled with royal baby watching.
Hashtag: Obsessed.
Even if he is a boy, I am confident Prince George would approve of hot pink.
Last week I found out about Pittsburgh’s traditional wedding receptions featuring barge-sized tables piled with home baked cookies…AND NOW it’s a homemade sweater for Mr. Rogers.
How many ways is this amazing? Also amazing: the artist who made it.
I need not remind you of how I feel about Mr. Rogers.
I also need not mention the demon scum who decided to drag his name through the mud to flare up ratings on a slow news day. But I digress…
Let’s move on. Let’s think happy thoughts and watch Mr. Rogers learn to breakdance.
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood!
I am like the wedding camel. I can go years on end without attending a single wedding then all of the sudden BAM BAM BAM it’s Marriage-Palooza ’13!
The thing about weddings is, the more of them you go to, the more they start to look alike. Even the most beautiful and well-executed event can come off with a thud if there isn’t something special to set it apart. Obviously, the key to a great wedding is, (duh), a great marriage between two people who love and adore each other (did I actually need to say that?)…but, but, BUT, the key to a great party is to throw in something unexpected. Something whimsical. Something just-barely eccentric enough to piss off your Aunt Elmira.
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| If you follow me on Facebook you probably saw this last Saturday snapshot from the wedding of my friends John and Alexis. Is this a great idea or what?! |
A few years ago everyone and their drunk uncle had a chocolate fountain (some of us may not have waited for a wedding to purchase one, ahem)…but now, apparently, chocolate fountains have gone the way of the Macarena: Over. That’s what happens to trends I guess. They have to die out eventually.
Despite this, I am spotting some new wedding trends that, I think, are pretty darn swell.
Here are five that I’m hoping will stick around a while!
1. The Cookie Bar
It’s 10pm…the food is long over, the cake is gone, everyone is dancing, and people need something to nosh. Give them cookies and milk! It’ll take care of their munchies, and, bonus, it’ll get folks to lay off the booze long enough to join in the Cha-Cha Slide. Excellent!
Update: Thanks to the anonymous comment below for calling attention to this NYT piece on the Pittsburgh tradition of cookie tables. Whoa. This is intense! Now all I need is someone in Pittsburgh invite me to their wedding.
2. Grandmas as Flower Girls
Okay, I like a cute little toddler flower girl as much as the next person, but let’s be honest, sometimes they suck at the flower part. And it’s not their fault or anything. I mean, if a kid can’t poop on target it’s asking a lot of them to be able to handle the whole basket-petal-floor-basket-petal-floor routine. I say, give the little girls the pretty dresses, but give grandma the flowers. Granny is probably marching up the aisle anyway, so put her to work!
3. “Special Thing” Fund Registry
For a long time it was taboo for couples to ask for cash as a gift, (and yeah, it can still come off greedy if it’s not handled nicely (perhaps via an online service)), but, I for one would rather chip into something that the happy couple really wants like a house, a honeymoon, new furniture, etc…rather than, say, buying some $90 blender from a department store, especially if I know, *for a fact*, they both came into the marriage with a perfectly good blender. I mean, do I really want to push them into the Three Blender Household realm? No. Can I help cover a piece of the down payment on a condo? Yes. Sign me up!
4. Long Lasting Sparklers
Sparklers are awesome for outdoor wedding receptions, no doy. Not only are they cheap, festive and fun, they make for amazeballs photos. The only problem is the regular kind burn out in like 30 seconds. So now you get the long-lasting ones…everyone at the party can join in the fun (and the photos).
5. Non-Matching Bridesmaid Dresses
For a long time there, bridesmaid dresses were, by definition, ugly (I believe there is a shade of dusty rose nail polish called “bridesmaid pink”). For the record, I have seen some beautiful bridesmaid dresses in my time; it’s the not-so beautiful ones that give the rest a bad reputation. Picking bridesmaid dresses is a hard balance to strike, for any bride, and it only gets more complicated when considering not only the people who will be wearing the dress, but the season, the venue, the price-point, the formality of the groomsmen’s attire…it’s complicated! You just can’t please everyone. For a number of years, the thing was to pick a designer/fabric and let each individual bridesmaid pick whatever dress# they liked best. Nowadays, more and more brides just don’t give a rip and are picking a general length or color wave, if anything at all. These brides would rather their sisters and friends feel comfortable and beautiful, rather than mauve and matching. I think that’s pretty awesome!
So that is what I have to say about that. Eat your heart out, Emily Post.
Now, what say you, do you have a favorite wedding trend?
Water is wet, kittens are cute, and I love pom-poms like a fat kid loves cake.
The thing about pom-poms is, you don’t even know you love them until you see them together. One pom-pom is sorta sad…but ten pom-poms is happy…and a hundred pom-poms is like WHOA.
Shalamalamadingdong!
As part of another project, the folks at Darice were kind enough to send me some major, major craft goodies, including these hollow paper mache letters and a muppet’s weight in pom-poms. I had seen the paper mache letters floating around craft stores for a while, and I liked them well-enough, but I never bought one as I never knew what to do with one. As soon as I saw the pom-poms, I knew this had to happen.
Did you see that? At the top — that’s a coin. That’s right. Not only is it a big furry fabulous thing, it’s a piggy bank! Once again, form follows function. If you make one these and someone asks you why you have a big silly muppet letter on your desk, you can tell them to lay off, because it’s the most practical thing you have going: your very own rainy day fund.
Okay, okay, okay, you can skip the piggy bank part and just hang it on the wall. But don’t say I never give you options. If you want to convert a paper mache letter into a piggy bank (pom-poms or not), all you have to do is insert a slit at the top. Want access to your money later on (without taking to it like pinata)? cut a simple flap on the side and hot a glue a ribbon tab. It’ll stay shut until you yank on it to get your money out.
Yentl is wondering why I glued 200 cat toys to a giant letter A.
Good question, Yentl!
The morning of my 30th birthday we were driving back from a weekend in Washington DC and stopped off for a fancy birthday breakfast at The Greenbrier (aka The Mothership), in White Sulfur Springs, West Virginia. The food was superb, the surroundings impeccable, the chandeliers To Die For, and if it were not so fancy (and we didn’t have a personally-assigned butler standing over our table) I totally would have stolen one of the drinking goblets as a souvenir. I know that sounds bad, but listen, these were not just any glasses – we are talking emerald green. Anchor Hocking forest green glass to be specific.
Swoon.
I am still not over them. I told myself if I ever saw a set, I would buy them on the spot.
Fast forward three years….
I’m in the thrift store last night and I see them: ANCHOR HAWKING GREEN GLASSES. Not the same shape as the stout goblets at The Greenbrier, but more practical drinking glasses instead, which would be even better for me. It was meant to be! My heart be still, and there were ten of them. TEN! And a buck each! That’s a ten dollar dream fulfilled! Exclamation point!!!!!!!!
Without the width or arm span to carry all ten, I bolted to the front to grab a basket.
Not thirty seconds later I am back in the aisle to find THIS…
Okay. They weren’t mine yet. Fair enough.
But I saw her looking at me looking at the glasses after she had already passed them in the aisle. There is no way she would have picked them up had I not been stupid enough to show enthusiasm and then walk away long enough for her to grab the glasses and mix them in her cart with her stupid puppy puzzle and her Beanie babies. I hate her. Okay, that’s not nice to say I hate her. In all fairness, she was very nice in shooting down my plea to accept my twenty dollar bill to hand the glasses over. Whatever. I still hate her. Her and her stupid capri jeans and grabby hands. She probably won’t even appreciate those glasses. Those beautiful creatures will just go home and sit her garage with her filthy stock-pile of Beanie Babies and capri jeans. I hate her. I HATE HER.
So I felt bad about it. I went home and buried my hatred in a helping of Haagen Daz and an online search for Anchor Hawking.
….Yeah, so, I found some. Forty bucks. I figure, between that twenty I offered Lady Capri Jeans, and the other ten I would have spent to buy them, that would have come in just $10 under the $40 this place is charging online. That’s almost a good deal, right?
Yeah. Almost.
Sigh.
The emerald dream continues…
So, last night, I’m cooking in the kitchen and I’m watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey in the living room.
This scenario would all be fine, except I was doing these two things at the same time and the two rooms are 15’ away from each other.
Welp.
You know what happens…one minute I’m watching this guy call his sister “scum” for trying to destroy his marriage, next minute Scum Sister’s husband gets wind, storms in, and demands an apology (RAWRRR!!!), and next a fight breaks out between the two. Of course, to add drama, the editors at Bravo did that thing where they make screen go black but keep the sound going. Very compelling. All you can do is envision this uber suspenseful Rocky Balboa-like fight, when in reality, it’s just two short men in Ed Hardy shirts bucking around on the carpet of a rented conference room. Obviously, I could not turn away. At least not until the fire alarm went off.
Blah blah blah I run to kitchen….blah blah blah burning….blah blah blah no potholders…blah blah blah I used my scarf…blah blah blah BAD IDEA.
Well, the wadded up scarf was fine for keeping my hands un-burned. However, portions of the scarf touched the bottom of the hot pot and instantly melted, thus ruining my scarf and the bottom of the pot.
I can get over the scarf, but the pot…I really like this pot.
It’s huge and heavy. My parents bought it in the early 80’s. I have purchased a couple of different stock pots over the years, and none cook half as well as this one. This one is a keeper.
So the question is; Can it be saved?
If you had asked me a week ago, I would have assumed that scarf was 100% cotton, but the way it melted to the pot I think it must be part polyester. So how does one remove melted polyester from stainless steel? Scrubbing with baking soda/steel wool/ajax/dish crystals has not worked. Soaking overnight in a tub of sudsy water has not worked. WHAT WILL WORK?
I’m beginning to lose hope.
Does anyone out there have experience on this front? If anyone would know, it would be you guys.
Input wanted on this one.
I want my pot back.
