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Archives for February 2014

Bramble Patch: Feb 2014

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February is an especially cruel month when it comes to cold temperatures and cabin fever. Here is a handy list of distractions to hold you over until spring.

The reason for the season: Girl Scout Cookies. Here is awesome list of suggested beer and Girl Scout cookie pairings. Another good (yet obvious) combo: Thin mints and Bailey’s Irish Cream cocktails. Damn. 

I am absolutely blown away by this stationary line in Australia. This. This. This. I know for a fact some of y’all readers are retail buyers – someone needs to bring this to America (and preferably near me!)

How come nobody told me about this chain of islands in the Bahamas overrun by swimming pigs? Were you holding back on me?

NEWSFLASH: There is an entire store devoted to confetti. Oh, confetti. Dontcha just want to grease yourself up in butter and roll around in it all day long? Is that too much? …Too much. Okay. But she also has a super cute blog. And this Breakfast of Champions print is rocking my word.  

I’m so not big on the grammar snob movement, but this video features Mandy Patikin and a Godfather horn, so you know it’s got to be good. (Hat tip to Carolyn for sharing with me.)

Do you remember the movie Milo and Otis? Available for adoption in South Carolina , FYI.

Twinkle lights for my Star Wars peeps. Would also be super cute in a little boy’s room. (Or girl’s room!)
Speaking of little boys, here is a thing I love: little boys with mohawks. Little mohawks. Not the baby Dog The Bounty Hunter mohawks. Just the little ones. Here is a trick for doing it at home using frog tape.
And speaking of little boys with long hair, this (courtesy of Jennifer B) nearly ripped my heart out.
It’s T-Minus two months to Cinco De Mayo. I am totally mailing myself a donkey just to see if this is really possible. 
How Democratic is your name? (or Republican, for that matter)… “Hi, my name is Marissa and there is a 53% chance I have a college degree, and a 49.2% chance I keep a gun in the house.” Fascinating. 

Something you need to know: there is a blog devoted to stock photos of women laughing alone with salad. You’re welcome.

Also, here are a bunch of old black people looking younger than Lorde.

Also, here is my secret boyfriend Benedict Cumberbatch in a suit. 18 times! 

This lamp. Gah. 
Serious note: my Land’s End parka is the only thing getting me through this Game of Thrones style never-ending winter of doom. Seriously, folks, I don’t know how I would have done it in the coats (many, many coats) I was wearing up until a couple years ago. You don’t know how not-warm 95% of all coats are made until you survive a Midwestern winter in a truly, truly warm coat. I know the season is nearly through, but they are selling the remaining inventory half price – so if you are looking to buy for next year, I can’t recommend this sucker enough. (He also has a leopard sister). Worth every penny even at full price. Also, just to clarify, this is not a sponsored plug; this is a survival tip. Mother Nature isn’t going be less bitchy come next winter. Prepare your ass now.
Last call to lookyloo and homemade Valentines! Some of the hundreds of people who participated in this year’s swap posted the photos on my Facebook wall. Oodles of surprises and celebrity appearances, including Mr. T and The Beegees. Ooolala.

Dead valets are okay and I need an embroidery hoop.

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So this thing happened this morning wherein I stumbled into this gal’s awesome blog which led me to her equally awesome pinterest page which led me down the rabbit hole to this flaming pile of fierceness:


First of all, can we all just agree that bros before hoes is something that only a bro without a hoe would say?

Second of all, where do I get this wondrous thing and where can I find more of them?

Okay. I know.

Thing is, you don’t buy the finished piece. You buy the kit. Most are under $10 (see more on their website). Excellent Mother’s Day gift, I’m thinking.

So this leads me to the following questions…

  1. Where the hell is my embroidery hoop?
     
  2. Is it really that hard to needlepoint like this? I took Embroidery 101 in home ec (back when they still had home ec classes) and it wasn’t even that hard. I got turned off by the concept because we each had to make a 6” gingham sampler square that was to be sewn into a class quilt for babies in war-torn Bosnia, and the teacher rejected my square away it had a blood spot on it (don’t judge. I washed it first. What? You give needles to children and what do you expect). She made this big point to say IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS that those babies in Bosnia didn’t want no blood quilt, which I thought was a total crap thing for her to say because she just got through telling us people in “the formerly USRSR” were eating “cat and cabbage” just to survive and it seemed to me, ignorant in my youth, that people desperate enough to eat cats and cabbages would probably be okay with a quilt with some teensy mystery spot on it. So that’s just horsecrap. They didn’t need to know it was blood now did they? As an adult I see what’s wrong that statement but as a kid it was deeply hurtful. Turned me rotten on the whole concept of embroidery until this very day. Fuck you, home ec.
     
  3. I like the concept of ladies sitting around doing needlepoint. It’s very Jane Austen. Can we make this a trend? The knitting thing is played out. Let’s get a needlepoint trend going.
     
  4. Remember that part in Pride and Prejudice where one of the Bingley sisters is all like, “ladies of accomplishment can needlepoint and paint and draw and play piano at the same time” and Darcy was all, “I don’t know any bitches who can do that” and then he looks at Elizabeth knowingly. Or something like that. Yeah. That was good.
  5. Why don’t they needlepoint on Downton Abbey? Can Julian Fellows work that in the storyline so we can all hashtag that number and get it going? Can somebody reading this in England hook that up? I know you all know each other. Place ain’t even that big. And while we are on the subject of English doings, where do we stand now that Downton has concluded for the season? Let’s talk about this for a sec. Because I for one found the whole Rose Gets a Quinceanera storyline INSUFFERABLE. The hell? I hate her. Are there not enough pretty and interesting women on this show already? Rose. First she is being annoying, then dates the effeminate black dude just to piss off her mother, then she’s being annoying again, then she’s dancing with Prince Edward like she saved the whole damn monarchy by finding his hidden relationship love letter (ummmm…like ol’Eddy was big on putting monarchy before his relationship in real life? Riddle me that one, Julian). And why is Rose getting all the attention when Lady Edith, poor Lady Edith, is made to suffer more than Elizabeth Taylor? Can you even imagine keeping silent and watching your child grow up in the safe harbor of the local hog farmer? BTW: Hog Farmer is awesome. He’s so cool. You could tell he knew the whole time she was talking but didn’t want to rub it in her face. What grace. What dignity. Hog Farmer for mayor!!!!!! Between him and Granny Crab’s hat situation they really got me going, but then, BUT THEN, they have the nerve to put Bates back under the lamp light of suspicion when everybody knows that meat roid valet had it coming. HAD. IT. COMING. And why is Mary getting all high and mighty about not letting dead people deaths lie in peace? I got two words for you, Mary: TURKISH DIPLOMAT. And anyway, who cares who pushed the valet? Justice was served. The end. Speaking of endings – Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes. Let’s have more of that. If they will give me more of that I will get over how they torment Daisy with unrequited love. Even a scullery maid deserves to get her man. You know what I’m sayin, Jullian? Okay. I’ll stop now because my caps lock quota is up for the week, but if someone would like me to tell them what should come next season, holla. I’m available.    
     
  6. In conclusion: Dead valets are okay and I need an embroidery hoop. Happy Thursday.

PS: Anyone going through Downton Abbey withdrawal might want to consider youtubing The Victorian Garden series. Different vibe altogether but it’ll scratch the itch. Hat tip to my pal Dee for sharing this method of Downton Abbey methadone with me a few years ago. Works every time.  

 

Week in Instagram

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Sometimes bloggers do these “the week in instagram” type of posts and I sorta think they are sorta a cop-out.  I mean, who wants to re-hash something they already put out on one for of social media into yet another form of social media? Yawn. But then I get these occasional emails from people wanting to know what’s going on in the little slideshow in the sidebar and I think, Well gosh, not everyone is on Instagram so maybe I should explain that a little.

Okay. So. That said, two things;

1. If you have a smart phone and can get on Instgram, do. You can lock up your account so nobody sees it, but, I promise you, it will make you a more observant individual. It won’t make any of us great photographers, but it will make us better at appreciating beauty, which is pretty fantastic in my book.

2. If you are on Instagram, follow me then you can skip this whole thing.


So let’s kick this off with the important stuff: Lola.

My cat, or should I say, the cat who allows me to live with her, has a particular talent for situating herself in places where she looks especially fetching. Nobody does pattern mixing like Lola. Here she mixed zebra on floral or ethnic with a touch of marmalade fur. If I were British enough to call something smashing, that’s what I would say here, but as I am American I’ll call it neato and hope Lola accepts the description as fair justice (not likely).

This is more of me messing around with Waterlouge (we talked about this earlier). The photo is from a wall of ribbons at Britex Fabrics in San Fransisco. Now I’m waiting for one of my favorite printers to have an enlargement sale so I can get this sucker blown up life size.

Side note: Britex is easily the best fabric store I have ever been to. It’s ain’t cheap but it makes your regular hometown fabric store look like a common hooker. Only reason I went to Britex when I was in San Fran was because a reader suggested it — so thanks for that! Man I love it when you guys tell me the important stuff. 

 This is the Thompson Center in Chicago. If you ever have to drop some crap off at the Attorney General’s office, be sure look out at the view. Or down, I should say. What you don’t see here is that bottom floor there is actually just a giant food court and the whole place smells like Panda Express.

This is just me bragging because the guy at Trader Joe’s said I have nicest reusable shopping bag he has ever seen. And he sees a lot of bags.

I win. 


This is me too. #TBT (Throw Back Thursday). In a recent post I mentioned that I dressed up as Scarlett O’Hara not once, but twice. Wasn’t kidding about that. This is me age 11 wearing my costume, legit hoop skirt made from a bed sheet and hoola-hoops with my own two hands. BAM.

#FF (Follow Friday). This awesome lantern is by Alexa, aka Swell Designer. If you are in the mood to follow people who are in the business of making tie-dye sparkly things, she is a good one to follow. 

Friday night dinner at Noelleen’s, which was awesome, followed hummingbird cake. Noeleen is Texican and doesn’t read this blog so it’s okay if I tell you she went rogue on tradition and doubled the banana and pineapple and put Captain Morgan in the frosting. (Like I said, she’s Texican). It came out half-way to pudding, but surprisingly tasty. It’s been 20+ years since I had hummingbird cake and I am now hellbound and determined to make one myself.  This recipe from my friend Suzonne has perked up my interest something fierce.

Heidi came over on Sunday and we crafted the bajeebus out of some eggs. I know it’s too early for Easter, so I promise more on these fellas down the line. Stay tuned!

Decoupage: No Fail Tips and Tricks

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I operate under the assumption that everyone knows how to decoupage just as everyone knows how to wipe their own ass. It’s a basic benchmark of childhood development. I’m not saying they should include it in one’s Apgar scores, but I’m also not saying they shouldn’t. Everyone needs to know how to decoupage. Boys, girls, young, old…everyone. That said, you can imagine how disturbing it is to run into and adult who is unfamiliar with this art. Or worse, someone who knows how to decoupage but avoids it for fear of mess, frustration, or unpleasant results. Unbelievable.


With that in mind, I thought I would write a post of tips and no-fail tricks that yield great results every time. If you are already a decoupage fan you might as well skip this, but if you find the process difficult or intimidating or not-worth-the mess, read on!

Let’s start with materials.

Here are the essentials…


*Adhesive. You can use most any diluted water-based glue, but favorite is Mod Podge Super Gloss. It’s thinner than the regular glossy Mod Podge and seems to absorb into paper and fabrics a little better. The finish is uber glossy and if you use a wet brush, it dries brush-stroke free. Stroke marks make the difference between something looking like a handmade treasure and a homemade craft project. A smooth finish is key. Around $8 a jar, it’s great stuff.
*Origami Paper. Any sort of paper will work, obviously, but thin paper is good paper, and porous paper is best. Most thin paper is coated (think pages of a magazine) but origami paper is typically left raw to allow for easy folding. It’s super thin, super absorbent, and the patterns are glorious. Thicker paper tends to sit on top of surfaces, whereas origami paper blends into it like a new skin. Like a new and sparkly kabuki show skin. Excellent alternatives: newsprint. tissue paper, coffee filters and non-coated wrapping paper.
*Firm brush. Find something with especially sturdy bristles. Something from the hardware store or that was made for toddlers to stomp around. You need something that can shift big gloopy adhesive around with as little brush strokes as possible (see under adhesive: stroke marks = bad)
*Metal cans. The beauty of decoupage is you can resurface almost anything (I even decoupaged my kitchen cabinets), however, I find these extra large cans come in hand for all sorts of storage purposes, and there is a nifty flower trick I’ll show you in a sec.


The Basics
1. Use a wet brush to swipe a thin layer over the surface of the object.
2. Crinkle the paper in your hand. Crinkling is important because it will create cracks in the paper for the glue to sink into, and that will ward off lumps or air bubbles. Crinkled paper dries much smoother on the surface than non-crinkled paper, which seems backwards, but it’s not.
3. Use your fingers to smooth the paper to the surface, not the brush. Your fingers will do a much better job of smoothing it out. It will ruin your manicure, but that’s the sacrifice we make for art. Also, pay attention to edges. If you can help it, keep edges clean/non-ragged. If you can’t help messy edges, use some other accent paper to band off the edges in round 2. Again, this is one of those little steps that make a big difference!
4. After it dries, get out your wet brush again and wipe on another layer of adhesive (in my case, Mod Podge). If it looks streaky or gloppy, mist it with water. The water will dilute on surface and smooth things out.

BUT. Even if you do all that, the decoupage fairies may decide they hate you and your surface will dry rumply and less-than-perfect. That’s okay because there is a wonder drug of craft supplies: gold tissue paper.


Just shred the gold tissue into strips or splotches and add another layer on top. Don’t ask me why, but you can make anything decoupage look special by adding little pieces of gold tissue paper. It’ll cover imperfections, add contrast, looks great with everything. Plus, it’s gold. Gold reads THIS IS SPECIAL. You like that.

Oh, and this is why I like those jumbo 28oz tomato cans; they are the perfect size for holding 18oz plastic cups. See…


I made a bunch of these for a wedding once. The cans were a strong pattern and the flowers weren’t even flowers, just a bunch of greens. It actually pretty striking. And dirt cheap.

They make a nifty prom dress for the bulb flowers from the grocery store that last a couple of weeks.

Cute. Ness.

Happy decoupaging 🙂






The Ying Yang Game

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Thus far, I have spent half my day on the phone, on hold, with customer service. I’ll spare you the details. Sufficient to say, I may have used the term “assneck” on more than one occasion. Anyway. When I’m on hold in situations like that I like to play this game my mom taught me, Ying Yang. I don’t think she made it up but I don’t know anyone else who plays it. It’s oddly calming. Good for squirmy children and irritated adults.

The crux of it is this; you say one thing you find unappealing and the other person has to come up with something to make that first thing splendid. Or a splendid combination, I should say. For example I say “ketchup” because ketchup is the devil (THAT IS FACT) and then the other person says “meatloaf” because ketchup is actually pretty almost-good on meatloaf. If a third person in the room agrees they say “Ying Yang!” and the game starts again.  The trick is to offer up something unappealing, not something you hate. I mean, there is no Ying Yang for genocide. If you know the other person’s pet peeves, it’s a good opportunity to force them into a new outlook (like I said — it’s a good game for when you are frustrated).

 
Now, I don’t have two other people to converse with while waiting for customer service, so I just write them down for no other reason than it keeps me occupied.  As of ten minutes ago (I’m still on hold) this is what’s scribbled on my notepad…
 
dentist offices and unicorns
instant coffee and pink marshmallows
thyme and cinnamon
Sonny and Cher
tuxedos and tacos

aviator sunglasses and cats (EPIC WINNING)
denim shorts and vintage tiaras
moss green and carnation pink
Spock and John Lennon
 
cloves and basil 
bacon and chocolate (this one may not get points on the unlikeable spectrum)
pretzels and ice cream (see above)
Tabasco sauce and bananas
nursing scrubs and feather boas
olives and white chocolate
teal and espresso brown
chalkboards and cut velvet
granny floral and yachting stripes
mushroom and apricot
Nancy Reagan and Mr. T (this is still my favorite!)
Hulk Hogan and Liberace
dragons and french poodles
pointy shoes and camouflage
hairless cats and cashmere sweaters
…. and I’m still on hold. If you think of any good combos, holler!


Hump Day

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Did you ever have one of those days…

…one of those days when you can’t catch a ball, NOT A SINGLE STUPID BALL, but you tell yourself it’s okay and it too shall pass, but then it literally starts coming at you in slow motion and some asshole starts in with creepy German opera music?

Yeah.

On an upnote, it’s Wednesday and I’m having pancakes for dinner. Pancakes are easier to catch 😉

 

  

Pom Pom Purse

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For someone who runs a craft blog, I haven’t been doing a lot of crafts lately. Sorry folks. I blame it on seasonal affective disorder, but seasonal affective disorder is blaming it on me. Either way, I don’t really give a rip because it’s supposed to be 40 this week and I can already smell the rain coming. Smell. It. Whooooo!

Pair this onslaught of enthusiasm with a House of Cards marathon, this last weekend was what you might call, productive. Ask me, did I produce clean laundry? File my taxes?

No. I made pom pom purses. Priorities: I got ’em.

These are stupid easy to make, but before we do I want to talk supplies.

For on thing, don’t go out and buy a purse. Next time you want to glue stuff to a purse just go to the thrift store and get a cosmetics bag. They have tons of them. Dirt cheap too. This black and white one was 99 cents. The stripes are snazzy but this woulda looked awful swell on plain black or some funky pattern. Gold lamé ? Oh hell yes. That’s all Imma say about that. Get what you want. But if you choose to cover the whole things with pom poms, leave a strip around the zipper clear. K?

Now let’s talk pom poms. Namely craft store pom poms. I am not a fan. They sell them in giant bags at craft stores like Michael’s and Joann’s and the color combos are not exactly attractive. The poms are good but you have to buy five bags of the stuff to pull together a decent combo. I’m not knocking anyone here, but if any craft company execs out there would like me to come over and mix and match up your color combos, feel free. I’m down.

Given this, I have two favorite sources, equally exotic and inexpensive; Thailand and the Dollar Tree.

These poms from Thailand are made of little bundles of cotton yarn. The colors are so rich and vibrant. Plus, they cost $2.00 for a whole bag*, less than half what you pay for a smaller quantity at the craft store. Shipping aint cheap, but if you already buying something awesome (LIKE THIS PILLOW) they make an inexpensive tagalong.

*Ack! Sorry guys, the original link to the etsy item I used to buy the pom poms appears to be sold out (this happens a lot on Etsy) so I swapped it for a link to their supply section in hopes they start selling it again in the future. Plus they also have some cool stuff. Dontcha just want do up a whole Christmas tree with these rad tassels?

The Dollar Tree sells 80 poms in a bag for a buck. Way cheaper than the craft store. They are all the same size but the colors are super saturated and happy looking. Go get you some.

Okay. That’s what I know about that. Let’s get going on the purse.

Hot glue. That’s all. Just lay down a strip of hot glue and go to town. This sucker filled up in 20 minutes. Bam!

The tassel on the end is just a snippet of ribbon slipped through the zipper pull, followed by a small cluster of pom poms. Sure, the tassel is overkill but it takes the bag from crafty to something special.


Easy peasy, fun and funky.

Pom pom purse: It’s a good thing.




Pinterest Files: Hangers

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I have decided that the hallmark of adulthood is a decent set of matching hangers. Normally I am opposed to anything “matching” but hangers seem a logical place to start. Plus the nice lady on the Home Shopping Network had a gentle voice and tap-tappy fingernails that make me think a super-slim set of clothes hangers will make me feel better about my clothes and thereby will make me feel better in my clothes. Now I type that out and realize I may have been hornswaggled.

Dangett!

Well. Just the same. I have some extra non-matching hangers about the house. Pinterest tells me there’s all kinds of coolness to be had.

1. Drill in some eye hooks and bam it’s an earring organizer.
2. Your sunglasses deserve better than your junk drawer.
3. DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN HANG SWEATERS?
4. Add sequins and it’s a nifty anti-frame art display.
5. Add shower curtain rings and it’s a scarf rack.
6. Saw and drill up a nifty coat rack.

I can’t write anymore. That sweater hanging trick done went and blew my mind. 

Goodnight.

Valentines Day at the Movies. With Angst.

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So, last week I sat down to do a round-up post of cool Valentine stuff I saw on Pinterest– paper hearts, pink and red greeting cards, a cake topper featuring Fabio on horseback (What? Who? Me? Never.)…you know. The usual.

But then I saw this thing. It bugged me.

This pin, this photo, was a photo of a newborn baby swaddled in a wedding dress. Like a full grown adult wedding dress. Not so much wearing the dress as quasi-enfolded and peeping over the boob part. You get the idea. The caption said, “Take a picture of your daughter in your wedding gown so you can show it at her wedding.”

  1. Ewwww.
  2. No.
  3. The law clearly indicates that babies can be dressed as animals, never as adults. Baby as monkey – okay. Baby as busdriver – not okay. Baby as bride  – still not okay. Baby as train engineers – maybe, it’s barely borderline, but only if the kid can tug in the air and say “Toot! Toot!”
  4. Does this person who put the baby in the dress not realize how much pressure that puts on a kid? That little girl will spend her whole life thinking that she is/was/is expected to get married one day. It is not only expected, it is assumed. From birth. I mean, what if that baby grows up and never gets married? What if she gets married but doesn’t have a horse-n-pony show wedding situation? What if she finds love and a life partner but never has want (or legal ability) to march down the aisle? What if her concepts of love fall outside the parameters of some assumption set down by her mother years before she ever even hit the dating scene?

Yeah. Don’t be laying that kind of horsecrap on your kid. Let babies be babies. (Or better – let babies be bears!)

Look, I’m not knocking love and marriage or the riding off into the sunset with the guy/gal of your dreams. Been there – done that. It has some benefits. I might even do it again someday. Because I think, if I, or you, can find some love in this lifetime, in any capacity, we’d be stupid to not do whatever we can do to cultivate it. Because it’s pretty cool stuff. And I like that. What I don’t like is this concept that everyone, even tiny babies, are weighted down by expectations. Can’t we encourage kids to grow up and be happy, independent of the good opinion of others? Are we still raising women to think that their true purpose in life will only be fulfilled only after they fill out a bridal gown? A marriage is a relationship and relationships are complicated. Don’t put that crap on little girls. That is not okay. Soooo not okay.

So.

I can’t really get mad at the person who created that photo (or the 147 other people who pinned it) because, statistically speaking, assuming she is American, there is a 72% chance that baby in the photo will grow up and one day marry someone. And, if she does, there is also a 50% percent chance she will divorce that someone (fyi: 50% on first marriage, 67% for the second, 74% for her third). So, while it may be cute to swaddle her in a big poufy white gown, drowning in sequins and future expectations, technically, it would be more realistic to nestle that baby in frenzied pile of self-help books, off-brand chocolate, and four-figure attorney bills (PEOPLE, NOW THERE IS YOUR PHOTO OPPORTUNITY). Not that I would wish any of those scenarios on any baby, but, you know, that’s the problem with expectations. Self-prophecy has a way of biting all of us in the ass.

Damn, that was a long intro. Where was I? Oh yes, Valentines day.

In my irritation of that photo I thought, Where do people get these ideas? I mean, very, very few of the people I know are the children of happy marriages. Some divorce, some live in apathy, but not a lot of examples of “happy” endings (I use quotation marks generously). Where is everyone getting this romantic concept of, well, romance?

Romance vs. Reality

Oh yeah. Hollywood.

As someone who watches entirely far too much TV and movies, I thought it would be easy to come up with a few examples of Hollywood storylines that do not tie off with happy endings. I couldn’t. The fact that I couldn’t come up with a single movie that didn’t end in assumed marriage (or death) was far, far more disturbing than the creepy baby in the bridal gown.

So what did I do? I went on Facebook and asked some folks if they could think of any, and thank goodness, they have much better memories than me. Ha!

So. This being Valentines and all, if you are looking for a romantic movie that does not perpetuate some bullcrap concept of love=happiness=marriage=life purpose, these are a few suggestions….


Casablanca 1942
Is there anybody that doesn’t like Cassablanca? It’s got Morocco and monkeys. A smoky casino. Wartime crisis. Ingrid Bergman in all her Swedish glory. And even Humphrey Bogard, who sorta looks like a Simpson’s character come to life, is easy on the eyes. It’s a classic for a reason. Everyone knows the ending so I’ll spare you the rehash, but it leaves you wanting more (is that not amore in a nutshell?) Yeah. This has Valentine written all over it.

Groundhog Day 1993
Okay, this will seem an odd pick since we just passed Groundhog Day, but this movie holds up any time of the year. It’s about a guy, Bill Murray, who repeats one day over and over again, attempting to alter each step, manipulating it to his advantage, only to realize…well, I won’t spoil it. It’s a love story but it’s not at all Romantic. The takeaway message is Get Your Act Together (because no one else is going to do it for you) – a message we all need to hear once in a while. The films is light, not a heavy hitter, however, I once saw Roger Ebert give a lecture and he said Groundhog Day was “The best film ever written.” So I went back and watched it again, and yeah, he might have been right.

Gone with the Wind 1939
Disclaimer: I may or may not have dressed up as Scarlett O’Hara for Halloween. Twice. It was a big puffy white dress with a hoop skirt and when people asked me about the costume and didn’t know who Scarlett O’Hara was (which was everyone – we were six) I would just say “a bride.” So that stuff above about the ‘don’t dress kids as brides’ is slightly hypocritical on my part. But Whatever. This is Gone with the Fucking Wind. Let me give you the rundown: romance — death; romance — war; romance — death.; romance— she gets dropped on her ass for being a total shrew. Oh yes, and Clark Gable, that fine piece of man (even with the Hestor the Molester moustache), steals almost every scene. Throw in some sprinklings of slavery, raging pre-feminism, civil war, and setting stuff on fire, and you have the makings of one of the best films of all time. It’s hella long so you need to start at no later than 6pm, okay? Okay.  

500 Days of Summer  2009
This movie is the memoir of a failed relationship between Zooey Deschanel’s bangs and a guy who plays a greeting card writer (HELLO: PERFECT FOR VALENTINES ). The fact that it’s a nonlinear narrative (and painfully hipster) can be occasionally annoying, but the sincerity of the story makes up for everything. It’s hard to not relate to one (or both) characters at some time throughout the film. The ending is left open which is exactly how, in my opinion, a good romance movie should end – full of possibility.

Sliding Doors 1998
You can tell I like this one because I recommended it last year when I wrote a list of romantic movies to enjoy on Valentines Day (didn’t see this 180 coming, did you!). Sliding Doors stars Gwyneth Paltrow in two identities living in parallel universes. It’s like, did you ever wonder what would have happened had you said Yes to that guy? Or that job? Or that thing you missed out on because you slept in? Yeah. If you have ever wondered if you are living your destiny, this is the movie for you.

Want to read a list of more traditional romantic movies? Click here to see what I wrote last year.

Want to read a much larger list of great non-traditional love story movies, click here to read the complete list on Facebook. You guys always have great suggestions, so I would always love to hear more (not that I will be using them tonight, House of Cards Season 2 was released 3am Eastern today – a special Valentine from Netflix to all of us!)

Happy weekend Valentines!