Dear Turd Burglar,
Look at you.
More important, look at what you have become.
You have elevated yourself to the rank of persons who steal craft goods.
Not cash. Not guns. Not electronics. No TB, you went for the win and used your dark talents to snag a decorative autumnal wreath. I know what you were thinking; Wait ’til the fellas down at the pawn shop get a load of this!
That must have felt good.
Well TB, do you know how I feel?
Well, I’ll tell you. Flattered. I am flattered that you took a shine to my creation.
You know, I was rather fond of that wreath too. Not to brag or anything, but it was made two years ago using an old garland and a hoola hoop. In fact, I posted directions right here. You should feel free to check them out and make your own.
Perhaps, when you are done making your own, you could un-burgal my wreath and put it back where you found it: hanging on my door.