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Archives for June 2011

Thinking in Swatches

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Never thought I would get up on the interwebs and sing the praises of teal and gray. Yet here we are, a week after I took this picture, and I’m looking to insert these colors into everything in sight. Last night I started wrapping a butter yellow napkin around to my old green garden hose because they looked so pretty together. So now my hose has a stylish neck-kerchief.

Awesome.

Now, I like to think I have always been sensitive to color, but this whole ‘thinking in swatches’ is new. If I get arrested for putting pink peonies in navy blue post boxes, I’ll blame it on Color Collective.

  

Fun with Munchkins: Tea Party Paper Bowl Hats

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I love any excuse to wear a hat. Doesn’t matter if it’s a pipe cleaner tiara or an old scarf wrapped around my mangy hair; give me a legit excuse to wear a hat and I’m there. Parties are good, but parties where all people are encouraged to wear head gear are the best

 So when my friend Brendan asked if I could help with his daughter’s seventh birthday party, and it was going to be tea party themed, and the girls were all bringing their dolls, I said “I’M ON IT.”

What a perfect excuse to use up some of my craft stash and put a new twist on an old classic: paper plate hats.

If you have ever attended a bridal shower where the gift ribbons get stapled to a paper plate, you know what I got the idea for this project. Of course, when my BFF got married last year, I went all over-achiever and made her ribbons into a rose bouque, thereby missing out on all the paper plate and ribbon fun. Until now….

Materials (for each hat)

  • one paper or plastic bowl
  • two pipe cleaners
  • one headband (they sell five for $1 at my Dollar Store)
  • six strips of tissue paper, roughly 23″x10″ 
  • Fun stuff: Stickers, ribbons, feathers, etc… I suggest you route around your cupboards and empty out all the little bits from leftover projects. Hush now, you know you have some.

This makes a great party craft for a wide window of age groups, but could certainly be done on a one-on-one basis too. The flower pinching/twisting process is a pretty easy concept to grasp for kindergarten and older, although some kids, even, ahem, big kids, may appreciate a hand with a delicate touch when it comes to pulling apart the tissue paper. The best part is that every hat comes out in its own special way, and the munchkins feel special when they wear it.

Sound good to you?

Let’s get started…


Use a needle or pointy object to poke two pairs of holes on opposite sides of the bowl. Lace one pipe cleaner through each hole, leaving a loop on either side.
To prepare the base, thread a headband through the pipe cleaner loops, twisting the pipe cleaners to secure the bowl to the head band. Gosh I hope that makes sense 🙂 Note: If you are having a party, I suggest preparing all the bowl/headband bases in advance so the kids can get started with the fun part. Also Note: I like to fasten the bowl in a jaunty, off-center fashion, but many of the munchkins later moved the hat to the dead center of their head. It’s a matter of preference. Not all munchkins embrace the jaunty. Kids…

To make the flowers, layer two strips of tissue paper, roughly 23″x 10″ in size, and pinch in the middle. Use the pipe cleaners on one side of the hat to twist and secure the pinch point. Repeat on the other side of the hat.

Now for the fun part! Use the pipe cleaners to twist on just about anything; ribbons, feathers, tulle, fabric scraps, silk flowers….anything and everything you have laying around the house. Remember this is a stash busting project–a great excuse to use up all the shiny little bits you have laying around your crafty cupboards. Once complete, wrap any extra pipe cleaner around your finger to form a spring shape, and gently pull apart the layers of tissue. Some munchkins seem to struggle with the whole concept of gentle, in which case, you may want to help them out.
If you love craft foam like I do, you have a shoebox of these laying around already. If not, go get some. It’s good stuff! On this particular occasion, I told each girl they could chose ten stickers, and with the exception of one “SHE GOT MORE SPARKLIES THAN I DID” out cry, there was zero bickering over the sticker box. Everyone was far too anxious to don their new hat and get to the tea party.  
!!!!!!!! TA DAH !!!!!!!                         
PS: Anyone interested in making super unique party hats should check out this photo Kara sent me of her friend Lydia’s birthday party last month. Custom party hats at their best. Happy birthday Lydia!

Dear Tomato Plants

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Guess who is going to be getting busy in the dirt this  weekend?

I am attempting to compensate for my black thumb by leaving love notes to my garden lovelies.

Don’t laugh.

It might actually work.

Happy Weekend 🙂

The Planter Purse

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Raise your hand if you have a kooky neighbor who uses boots and suitcases as planters.

Raise your hand if you are the kooky neighbor who uses boots and suitcases as planters.

Ah Ha! Thought so.

So, I didn’t have any boots around this summer, but this cheapy old teal green faux patent leather purse had seen better days. The zipper was gone and the lining was grimy…time to try something new!

So I punched some holes, filled it with dirt, called it a day. Some leftover Styrofoam peanuts at the bottom should help with drainage, assuming I don’t kill the poor thing first.

I’m probably not supposed to say this. Oh well.

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First off, I need to tell you that the best part about blogging is forming new relationships and receiving positive, constructive feedback from people all around the world. Nothing beats a kind word from a stranger. Nothing. Sometimes I fear, well, perhaps it is narcissistic to post the things I do and to crave your responses as much as I have. Perhaps by admitting that here I can keep my ego in check.

Help me Rhonda, I’ll try….

That said, you can imagine my astonishment last December when my inbox was flooded by comments and emails that referred to one of my posts as “slanderous garbage” and called me a “white devil jew who does not know anything of people in the world besides yourself and your kind.”

That was fun.

The best was when someone was nice enough to send me a photo of a dead cat.

Sweet.

Nothing, nothing, could have prepared me for the hornet’s nest kicked up by my post Dinosaurs: A Disco Christmas in Saudi Arabia, mostly from individuals outraged at my description of the Saudi Arabian legal system, and the civil liberties of Saudi Arabian women in particular…

Back then, when I first wrote it, I expected some ruffled feathers and asked a friend to help me edit it down and add some hedging language that I thought would lessen the blow, and since the whole point of the story was about finding your own brand of faith in spite of your surroundings, well, I honestly didn’t think anyone would be offended.

Apparently not.

Some folks were still ticked. Real Ticked. From the looks of my site traffic that week, it appears a link to my story was posted in some sort of web forum that encouraged people to leave nasty comments and emails. Luckily most were in another language that I couldn’t even read and the rest were easy to delete, but the incident rattled me for months….

Until today.

I received an email from Hala, a young woman in Saudi Arabia, who informed me that one of my posts, the very same one that caused all the controversy, was circulated to her as part of the numerous social media campaigns encouraging Saudi Arabian Women to drive on June 17th. No idea how that happened, or what drop in the bucket that post might contribute, but it’s nice to know good things can come out of even the worst situations. Hala’s single email neutralized the many, many other hateful, discouraging messages from months earlier. I can’t thank her enough.

And far more important than my Stuart Smally-esque need for affirmation, Hala’s email draws my further attention to the issue at hand; the women of Saudi Arabia deserve the right to drive. And much, much more. Given the Arab Spring, all systems indicate massive change is coming to Saudi Arabia in the months and years ahead. It is my assumption—no, my wish—that those words in my post from last December becomes outdated and archaic. Until then, I hope we can all lend an ear and an ounce of support to all the ladies looking to turn the key. No pun intended 🙂

Peace be upon you.

The Fickle Kitty: For Cats Who Hate Toys

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Warning: This post is 90% gratuitous cat photos and 10% craft tutorial for people who enjoy gratuitous cat photos. If you are a dog person, feel free to click away and see what Perez is doing today. Try back again tomorrow.

So here is the thing about cat toys: not that many cats like them.

Cats are active creatures but it appears that squeeze toys and jingle bell balls don’t cut it. Cat’s are fickle. They like texture. They like smells. They like sounds reminiscent of rodent-like death rattles.

Lola hates toys. I just can’t tell you how much money I have wasted on jangly bits, only to take them home to dangle before Her Highness and be shot down with a look, as if to say, Seriously? WTF am I supposed to do with a raccoon tail on a stick? Pathetic. Don’t you have a bathmat I can pee on? Seriously? A racoon tail….HA! That’s a good one.

So a couple months ago, when I saw her take an interest in a pile of vintage ric rac I was giving away, it was a momentous occasion. Initially I thought she was drawn to the smell, but no, it’s the texture she likes. The skinny ric rak is a particular favorite. It runs through her paws and she thinks it’s alive or something. I just dangle a string and she goes at it like a prize fighter. Tape it to a stick and it gets even better.

Materials

  • Wooden dowel as long as your arm
  • Skinny rick rack trim, roughly as long as you are tall
  • Electrical tape

Do y’all really need instructions? Just get your kitty dancing and go to town.

We could do this all day.

Party math: Are you a left brain or a right brain?

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The world is divided into two kinds of people: left brains and right brians (see description).

So, I was recently at an event that was swanky enough to require me to wear pantyhose in 90degree heat. It was awful. No one was having a good time. Somewhere in the mumbles of small talk, a guest tapped their spoon to a glass and said “I have a party trick!”

You play along at home…

Think of two numbers:

*The year you were born
*The age you will be on Christmas Day of this year
Now add those numbers together.  (For example someone born in November 1982 would add 82+29)

 Have you got it? What is your magical number?

Abracadabrasiskbbombah, your magical number is 111!

Yes, somehow, everyone ends up with 111.

Right Brain Reaction: Holy cow, how did you know my number? That’s amazing! OMG I have to tweet this ASAP!
Left Brain reaction: Um, that’s a simple math problem. I thought you said there was a party trick? 

So, are you a left brain or a right brain?

A Mermaid Parade for Munchkins

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Anyone going to the Coney Island Mermaid Parade this weekend? Lucky you!

Although, if you have a munchkin at home like these little ladies, I’m guessing the answer is no. Sadly, despite its name friendly name, the Mermaid Parade isn’t exactly munchkin-friendly. Hello tattooed bearded lady! Did you paint that bikini all by yourself? 

So for everyone who can’t make it to the parade this weekend, for whatever reason, I thought it might be fun to make some mermaid hats.

I heart hats. I heart craft foam. Tada, a parade is born!

Hello, Inigo Montoya!

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Just a mock up. This frame is far too ostentatious.  

Good news y’all.

I did it.

I finally found a place in Mexico that is preserving the fine art of black velvet painting.

Their name is, and I’m dead serious here; From Scary Clowns to Republicans ~ The Tijuana Black Velvet Painting Galleries
of Indignico Inc.

Because who wants a scary clown to hang in the bathroom? Everyone. That’s who.

Do you really need an oil painting of Dick Cheney over the mantel? Shut up. Of course you do.

And here is the best part: THEY TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS.

For years, and I’m not joking here, I have dreamed of owning a black velvet painting that captures the Latin flair of Inigo Montoya, as portrayed by the award-winning and always effervescent star of stage and screen, Mr. Mandy Patinkin.

Years, y’all. And now it can be mine.

Hello, Inigo Montoya!

UPDATE: Don’t bother with that Tijuana place–turns out, the image above is a REAL BLACK VELVET PAINTING! And now it is mine!

Sort of like Twilight, except everyone kept their shirt on.

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Guys, meet Wolfy. He is a wolf in sheep’s clothing* and, as pictured above on the left, a gift from my fourth birthday. As you can see, I also got a Snoopy Sno-cone Machine** that day. It was a very good year.

Wolfy was one of the few stuffed animals I truly loved as a child and one of the very, very few that I managed to keep all these years. Cloaked as a simple lamb, his job was to sit at the foot of my bunk bed and guard against monsters and bogymen, ready to bust out of his disguise, bare his teeth, and rip apart any potential source of danger. Sort of like Twilight, except everyone kept their shirt on.

*Note, I only recently learned that the expression A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing, is a bad thing. Apparently it comes from the Bible and is something one is supposed to avoid (Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves)…Does everyone know this except me? And if so, why would they make stuffed animals of false prophets? This is slightly disturbing, but somehow, it makes me appreciate Wolfy (and Twilight) a little more.

**Speaking of false prophets, I have a critical news flash: SNOOPY’S SNO CONE MACHINE IS STILL IN PRODUCTION.  Buy it here and you can have it in hand before this blessed heat wave is over. Your welcome.