Bucket List Item #45: Own a carousel horse.
Not the whole carousel, mind you, just the one horse. My place isn’t big enough for a whole carousel, and even if it was, I wouldn’t want one because then people would come over and expect free rides.
Look, I’m nice, but not that nice.
Anyway, like I said, just one horse would do the job. Preferably a metallic teal horse with a forked tongue like this gnarly dude riding the wave outside the Smithsonian in Washington DC. I’m pretty sure he is a Chinese water dragon. I could be wrong on that, though. When I google “Chinese water dragon” I get pictures of big lizards and not carousel horses, which is a shame, because, if there is one sort of carousel horse I do NOT want it would be the giant lizard variety. I don’t mean to sound discriminatory against lizards of any size, of course, but if this is making my bucket list I have a right to be choosy. No?
I think I’ll call him Larry. He will hang above my kitchen sink (he’ll want to be near the water front, naturally) and I’ll look at him every time I go to do the dishes or wash my hands or run lemon rinds down the garbage disposal to keep it from smelling like old cat food. He will just hang there and be cool all day and remind me that, “Sometimes life runs in circles, but it’s the joy is not in the destination, the joy is in the doing.”
And I’ll be all “Whoa dude, I didn’t even know you could talk with that forked tongue.”