halloween

Sparkle Tooth Alert: Collage Clay Crystal Skull

Two things I can never get enough of: frosting and rhinestone skulls.

I needed something to coordinate with my Liberace gourds, naturally, and since sugar skulls are all the rage, this needed to happen. He’s out on the bookshelf now but I’m thinking he may need to stay out year round. Nothing says Christmas like a crystal skull!

I must give credit where credit is due — I totally stole this idea from this crystal skull I saw on Cathie and Steve’s Facebook page. I don’t think they will mind me telling you because I’m also going to tell you about their product, which is my new favorite thing: Mod Podge Collage Clay.

Materials

Mod Podge Collage Clay goes on like frosting but it’s a actually a glue. A puffy, air-dry glue. If you have ever made mosaics using tile adhesive and grout (love the look – hate the process) you are going to LOVE THIS STUFF. It comes in a tube, like frosting, with tips, like frosting, in pink or white…like frosting. Dries light weight but heavy duty enough to hold your stuff in place. I picked some up at Michael’s for $10 (now on sale in stores only for $5.99), and used a little more than half the tube to cover this basketball sized skull. Now I’m thinking of eleventyseven other things I want to make with the other half of the tube. I’m not going to say what rhinestone creature will emerge next, but it might begin with “tape” and end with “dispenser.” Shhhh.

Skull I also found this jumbo foam skull at Michael’s for about $10 (now on sale for $6.99), however, now that I am contemplating keeping this bad boy out year round, I am regretting that I used a foam base. Next time I’m thinking about getting a hollow plastic skull ($1 at Dollar Tree), filling it with sand, sealing it off, then cover with crystal sparkles, then set on the bookshelf. BLMAO Instant book end! How’s that for practical thinking? I know. You’re welcome. If you’re not into bookends, the foam is nice and light. Actually, they sell these HUGE foam skulls at World Market too, like, as big as a car seat. They go for $40 right now, but I’ll bet they will be on sale any day now. I’m thinking you could just make a huge one and mount it as a hood ornament. I’m so tasteful.

Rhinestones I’v mentioned this before but I’ll say it again, the best deal running on crystal gems is this one pound bag. I have never seen it in stores, but you feel free to hunt around. This project could also be a great opportunity to break up an old necklace and salvage the beads, or buttons, or maybe just the sparkliest crap at the bottom of your junk drawer. I’ve got 46 cents in Canadian coinage that me best destined for new and glamorous heights!

Applying the Collage Clay really is just like putting on frosting. I know I keep comparing it to frosting, and you are bored of that, but that is the only relevant comparison I can think of. Just squeeze it on and spread it out….don’t lick your fingers.

Then you stick in your gems and goodies and leave it alone. The package says it dries within 1-5 days, but I found it to be much faster. I would say it dried to the touch within 5 hours and was perfectly solid overnight. It probably didn’t cure 100% for another day, but I was free to put it on display the next morning. No coaster or special protection needed.

After the collage clay dried, I went back the following day and coated the eye sockets, nose and mouth with clear-drying Tacky Glue and laid in some more sparkles. I can’t tell what makes him look more crazy – the pink eyes or the diamond teeth. Every time I look at him I hear him singing “LET ME SEE YOUR GRILL.”

Let me see your what?

“Got da whole top diamond and the bottom row’s gold.” – Nelly

Annnnnnnnd that’s about it. Easy peasy. I’m not sure if you are supposed to use gloves, but I didn’t. I got some on my counter but it wiped off with a paper towel like….wait for it…frosting.

You knew I was going to say that didn’t you?

Also. Because this is important. I would like everybody to know that I did not stage this rhinestone skull on a field of gold sequins; it’s here laying around all the time. And by all time, I mean all week. It’s costume season and Abigail wants to be an iguana. I think she meant the iguana from Dora the Explorer but I’m going to reinterpret this as the iguana from the Solid Gold Dancers and telling myself it’s for her personal safety. Sequins are mother nature’s safety reflectors. We must keep the children safe.

Happy Halloween!

Pimp My Gourd

by aunt peaches 21 Comments

Now is as good of a time as any to tell you that I watch ice dancers on youtube late at night and sometimes I get really angry that they are not wearing enough bling. I mean, the hell? If you can’t count on ice-effing-dancers to hold down the sequin quota, who can you count on? Nobody. That’s who. It used to be the Russian contingency could always be counted on to festoon themselves in sparkles (that’s what 80 years of communism will do to a nation) but now they have all gone tasteful too. I blame Vera Wang.

Anyway. Now that the weather is cooler and it’ll be another three winters ‘til I get a decent round of icecapades, I turn my eyes to the humble bounties of the Midwest: gourds.

Here in Illinois, gourds are easy to find. Just about anywhere that sells pumpkins will sell some sort of gooseneck gourd situation. Home Depot sells small ones for a buck, and big ones for $10. Important side note: my local Home Depot also keeps a shelter cat in their greenhouse named Xena The Warrior Princess, so you know they are good people. So that’s why I buy my gourds from them. Last year I spray painted a bunch of them gold, then I let them set out in a box on my sun porch all winter thinking they would dry out and by this fall the gourds would be nice and dry. But you know what happened? One of the gourds went rotten and instead of drying it just melted over the other gourds and one day I opened the box and was like a car accident. A big, moldy, wet fart smelling car accident. So. That’s my way of saying I do not suggest you dry your own gourds. Unless you have a nice cool/dark place you can dry them without touching each other. But that’s not me. Where was I? Oh yeah, gourds.

If you have the patience to dry your own gourds for decorating next year, by all means, be an over achiever like that. I found mine on clearance at Crate & Barrel for $3 (another advantage to living in Illinois: the Crate & Barrel Factory Outlet) but you can also buy them online from farmers like this guy.

If you wanted to make these I’m guessing you pretty much know what you’ll need.

-Dried Gourds
-Rhinestones*
-Tacky Glue*
-White and/or Gold Sharpies**
-Gold glitter sparkle glue paint***

*Note on rhinestones. There are a lot of things in life I know very little about, but cheap rhinestone isn’t one of them. If you are looking to buy/use/hoard acrylic gems, the best bargain is this one pound bag from Michael’s online, courtesy of Darice. My local store sells some smaller grab bags of crystal-rhinestone-thingies, and they are great, but if you want some bang for your buck, this is it. It comes in a giant jumble bag, which I like, but if you don’t, sorting rhinestones by color is oddly soothing. It’s also a great way to occupy a squirrely kid for an hour or two. This bag runs for $15 online, but if you use one of their 40% coupons it runs less than $10. Ten bucks for a pound of happy is a good deal.

** Note on Tacky Glue. I don’t know why anyone bothers to use any other kind of glue. Just don’t. Tacky glue is THICK. And it holds stuff. And it dries clear overnight. Rhinestones deserve a firm glue. They deserve it!

***Note on White/Gold sharpies. There are a lot of good paint pens on the market, but to write on a gourd it will need to have a felt tip or the nib will get gooked up writing over the textured surface, especially if you purchase the gourd and it’s oiled. No water-based ink is going to stick. Sharpies are the best/cheapest/most effective.

***Note on gold glitter sparkle paint. I’m insane for the Scribbles brand of gold glitter puff paint. Actually, I shouldn’t call it puff paint because it doesn’t puff. It dries flat, but, the density of the glitter is much higher than other brands. You’ll find very similar glitter paints/glues in any given craft store, but the Scribbles packs a lot more punch. I use it on lot’s of projects just as tiny little dots like putting tinsel on a Christmas tree. It adds an extra layer of depth and sparkle. And it’s cheap, so you know I love it.

I like to snake a line of the gold glitter all over the surface like a snail trail or something (see wet blobs above). You’d think they’d be glittery enough without it, but no, they really need that extra punch. Trust me.

These gourds joined some of the rest of my Liberace pumpkins from previous years. Weirdly, I can’t find half my Liberace pumpkins right now, so you every well might see them making an appearance come Christmas. I don’t think Jesus will mind.

Note the giant rhinestone sugar skull on the right. I found an awesome new secret indigent on that one. Stay tuned.

PS: Further reading, unrelated yet very awesome; Collin Nissan’s “It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Mothef@ckers.”

No-Sew Flying Spaghetti Monster

by aunt peaches 13 Comments

Know what’s cuter than a cute dog? A cute dog dressed like spaghetti.

Yup. It’s happening!

Kiki’s dog Abraham is one of those dogs that never stops moving. I think it’s a terrier thing. Jumping, dancing, hugging, wiggling, kissing the mailman, barking orders at the squirrels. Weird thing – he likes wearing clothes. He doesn’t even like it when you take his collar off. I think this goes back to his time in a shelter when the only time a collar came out was when a human would come to take him for walks or give him attention. I think he associates wearing things as a public mark that says I BELONG.

Okay. That’s me projecting my Lady and the Tramp pseudo-psycology on my friend’s dog. But you know what? I know what I know. And I know Abraham loves clothes, especially the ones that make him look extra adorable.

I mean…

I’ll have to get my video camera out so you can see the spaghetti wiggle with him. It’s pretty spectacular. And the cool thing about this costume is that it was inexpensive and came together in under an hour. Sure, this is a dog costume, but there is no reason you couldn’t take this to human size. OR EVER BETTER: make one for doggy and human to wear together.

That’s not weird at all.

You’ll need…
-Red or White base coat or sweatshirt (Abe donated his old coat to the cause)
-Brown yarn
-White yarn (extra thick blanket yarn is nice)
-Hot glue
-Pom-pom maker (optional)

Have you ever used a pom-pom maker? I grew up making pom-pons and tassels the old-fashioned way (just wrap yarn around a small book or piece of cardboard) and they are great, but I saw a woman at a craft fair demonstrating how to use a pom-pom maker and I was stunned, stunned, how nice and round her pom-poms came out. These really do look like little meatballs.

I hot glued some rough spirals shaped to the coat, which is a red fleece base. If you are ever considering making a costume with this method I highly suggest pairing it worth polar fleece. It takes to hot glue like peanut butter to jelly. I don’t know why that is, but it is. Those two love each other!