Bramble Patch

A list of happy distractions from over the last month.

My new favorite app: SkyMotion. Tells me the snowpocalypse will hit my block in… “7 minutes.” Then tells me it will clear in… “never.”

Also, this cat just discovered snow for the first time. Heart = Melted. 

Here is an envelope idea for anyone sending valentines.

Don’t read this if you want to keep your mascara on.

A friend and I were discussing how odd it is that we hardly know any kids with daily chore duties. Now I read this list and think my parents were soft on me too.

Great writing tips for bloggers.

Fifty quinoa recipes for lazy people.

Helen Mirren twerking at Harvard.  

There was a bearded, fire-worshiping viking party in Scotland and I was not invited. The Hell?

Cheap and pretty: Copper storage baskets. This elephant necklace. This heart print blouse. And oh look, here is another.

Not so cheap but very pretty: wearable signatures.

A photo of me and my first mannequin. 

I hate the Superbowl but I’ll watch it because it’s an all-American excuse to lay down the baby carrots and dip tasty bidness in awesome bidness. My contribution to the party: crock pot chocolate lava cake.What are you making?

PS for Valentine Swappers: Watch your inbox. Google is being a nerd-hole and making me stagger my email blasts, so if you haven’t seen yours already, hold out until tomorrow. It’s coming, I promise!

A handful of my favorite distractions from the month of November.

There is now a name for people like me, PANK: Professional Aunt No Kids. Man, they have me pegged.

A holiday favorite: the diary of The Twelve Days of Christmas.

How coffee changed the world.

And for tea drinkers, this is some disturbing bidness.

Interesting: My #1 source of traffic this month has been from people google searching “how to remove wax.” I suspect it has something to do with all that Thanksgivikah candle light. Well folks, here is your answer.  

The cutest kids coats in existence. I mean seriously, what does the fox say?

Nothing like a natural disaster to makes a girl cruise youtube for survivalist  videos. Here is how to a can of food without a can opener.

A tip for keeping Christmas trees looking fresh.

This chair. This chair!

Finally, a parody songbook for Jewish cat ladies.

Y’all, can you believe it’s December already?

The best distractions from the last month.

The ten most dangerous places in New York city.

Where a bicycle is sweetly subversive.

37 Sloth items. I want all of them. All. Of. Them.

Speaking of cuteness, did someone say French bulldog dressed as a snail?

And here is a spooky facelift for egg cartons.

I’m on a podcast binge. Anyone have any suggestions? Here is my recent fav: Stuff You Should Know. 30-60 min crash courses on all sorts of things you always sorta knew but not really. Recent highlights: How Fair Trade Works, How Revisionist History Works, and What are Japanese Stragglers? Fascinating.

I totally failed this very simple test. Bet you will too.

Bizarre stuff about popular name trends. Follow the animated GIF long enough and you’ll think Jennifer is a viral outbreak.

My facebook feed appears to be filled with tow types of messages; “RIP Lou Reed” and “Who is Lou Reed?” For the latter, watch this.

Grandmas cook their signature dish.

Any woman who has bought or made a costume for a little girl should see this.

And as long as we are on the subject of women in costume, shall we take a moment to appreciate my niece Abby’s pre-‘ween adventure as Little Edie from Grey Gardens? I think so.

This is a pink church I saw in Italy earlier this month.
…and these are a bunch of awesome links I saw all over the interwebs last month. Check ’em out!

26 Things you didn’t know about The Princess Bride (thanks to Ann for pointing this out!)

Another reason why women make less money in the workplace.

This door. Hubba Hubba.

Your long-term boyfriend says “Babe, you’re like, 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring.” What do you do? Start blogging about sandwiches, obviously.

Speaking of weddings, what happened when they cancelled a wedding at one of the fanciest venues in town? Everyone wins. (Hat tip to Katie for leaving this in a comment – it’s pretty awesome).

You gotta see Dee’s DIY Birkin bag on the cheap. Love it!

This is why you will not catch me buying Barilla pasta. 

Easy wrapping-paper-turned-wall-paper project. Sensational! Sort of remind me of this project, but better.

This is why the Oxford comma is important.

The Shining continues. Tony is excited. 

Crafty ladies of Chicago unite! Let’s all pitch in a little to help make this happen. 

This is why I refuse to own Tupperware.

Yoyo Ma on the bathroom floor with a wombat. I need more of this in my life.

13 Simple steps to get you through a rough day.

Were you a fan of the documentary Queen of Versailles like I was? Check out what Jackie has done with the house lately.

19 Cases of nail art gone wrong. Whoa.

One of my favorite artists, Katie Daisy (you may know her from Lola’s portrait) is going to be featured on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday and I can’t wait to see it! Katie has such a grounded and inspiring view of the world around. I just know you will want to watch it. Tune in Sunday at 11am eastern on OWN.

Seven essential books on optimism.

The Walker Texas Ranger house is for sale. You know, just in case!

This laundry room. Mind = Blown.

Listen to James Gandolphini reading Maurice Sendak’s, The Night Kitchen. I dare to not melt.

Cheap jars. Lurve me some cheap jars!

My BFF (who also happens to be a pediatrician) posted this link on Facebook about keeping kids in rear-facing car seats as long as possible. I don’t even have a kid, but I read it and now I find myself looking in other people’s cars for forward facing babies (holy cats, there are a lot!)

Yeah, I don’t think we have talked about Carlos Danger enough. 

One of my favorite Mad Men is playing Mr. Darcy. Why, oh why, am I not in Minneapolis to see this?!

I am not big on self portraits, but I am seriously tempted to do one of these in scotch tape.

Did you know that a yellow ribbon on a dog leash means that dog needs extra space (ie. keep your dog and kid away)? Great idea. Likewise, I wish someone would start up with green ribbons so I would know that dog is friendly. (Or they could just do this).  

Overstock has some amazing ikat rugs. Even the big ones are under $300. Bargain city, yo.

According to the Royal Name Generator, my name is Lady Godiva of the Highlands. What’s yours?

Some of my favorite distractions from the last month…

The photo above was taken in March, but June is the official month for rainbows in my mind. Find the complete directions at ElizabethBanks.com

Speaking of rainbows, do you know the history of the rainbow flag? Neither did I. Fascinating. 

I have always thought Jaderbomb was the crafty cat’s pajamas, but this post took a lot of guts. I hope you will take a sec to wish her a happy birthday. Yay for Club 33!

Liberace’s house is for sale. Now all I need is a job and Vegas and a cool half mil. Who wants in on this sweet deal?

Mad Men is now over, sigh, but not before Dee spotted my wallpapered fridge. Pattern love!

Recent events in the news have brought this very famous essay back to the forefront. It’s a two minute must-read for all of us white folks who think we understand race relations. (Newsflash: we don’t.)

Anyone taking a road trip this summer? This is the app for you.

There are times when everyone with an iphone thinks they can take photos like a professional photographer. So much so, that the Chicago Sun Times recently fired their entire photography staff. One look at these two cover pages should illustrate the difference.

I found a new smorgasbord of craft ideas under $10. This’ll keep you busy all weekend!

Went to Spoonflower looking for flamingo feather fabric. Found Doctor Who toile. It’s a toss up. 

And speaking of rainbows, I am going to need some of these. All of them. 

And while I was over there, these taffy dipped safety pin bobbles are giving me a serious case of the wants.

Want to dress like a hipster? Get your tips from Jackie.

Got any plans for the weekend? This blog turns three on Monday, so I’m thinking about taking her out for ice cream. Double scoop!

Happy weekend 🙂

A quick list of happy distractions over the last month.

A snapshot from my nightly walk home.

The guy who invented plastic flamingos has been dressing in matching outfits with his wife for 35 years. This is easily The Best Thing I have ever encountered that did not come on a spoon.

A boy left his bike chained to a tree when he went away to war in 1914. He never returned, leaving the tree no choice but to grow around the bike.  Stunning.

Because I have been, ahem, short with people in recent days (no diet coke + big event at work next week = RAWR)…a friend suggested I get this book. Actually, I got the app. It’s oddly helpful. Don’t get me wrong,  I’m still in snaggle-tooth bitch mode, but it’s helpful for those times when you get wrapped up the small things and lose perspective.

Speaking of people with a great sense of perspective (#SERIOUSFACE), did you read about the goat rodeo at Amy’s Baking Company? Holy cats. I thought I was going to have to bust out the popcorn just to get through the Facebook feed.

Now let’s talk about something important: Wall Decals. I have never been big on wall decals, but this castle has me a flutter. As a headboard, perhaps? Or what about these Keith Haring table tops? Too awesome. I say, too awesome.

Windows. Nothing like a sunny spring day to make you realize your windows are covered in filth, right? But, how do you clean second floor windows on the outside without a power hose? For real, this is not a new problem for mankind but when I ask second floor people they’re all “Uh, a hose?” … Uh, WTF? A hose just sprays more dirty city water. I need a proper wash. With soap. I’m thinking this plus a mop on a stick is it. Right? Tips welcome.

Martha says these 13 paint colors are no-fail. I’m leaning toward #12 Lancaster blue for my bedroom ceiling, although they all look pretty swell. And only a couple of them are from her paint line so you know they can’t be bad.  Marge isn’t one to miss a self-promotion opp.

Speaking of self promotion; Design Sponge, Apartment Therapy, and a bunch of other random places covered my wallpapered fridge. Then Huffington Post liked the inside of my freezer. Then Alli from Misfit Isle gave me the sweetest write-up imaginable. I was having an especially rough day when I saw this. Leave it to a random act of kindness from a total stranger to totally turn around a bad day. Hooray!
 

Follow me on Instagram.

Anyone getting their Cinco DeMayo on? This quick take on the old donkey pinata has me feeling like a solid gold Frida Kahlo. I need this sucker hanging over my claw foot bathtub year round.

Thirteen mega-handy photography tips for DSLR cameras (warning: kept me busy all afternoon).

Back in 1988, before she ran an global empire, Big Martha was doing Saturday afternoon infomercials complete with synthesized trumpet sounds. Even then, Homegirl still knew how to make chickens look elegunt.

This is offensive and gives sororities a bad name. It’s also hilarious and makes me think I found my life coach. (Follow up: and then this happened).

Reading: Paper to Petal. Man, and here I thought I knew paper flowers…

Have you ever noticed how people who consume energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of crap going on? For real. I want to tell these people to calm down and drink a blueberry mojito. Or a cucumber caipiranha. Or a whiskey lemonade served in a mason jar. Or whatever, like I care, just drink anything but some mini-shampoo bottle of blue juice with Hulk Hogan on the label.

Gator earrings, you magnificent bastards you.

I am so bad (SO BAD) at watering flowers. My containers never make it past July. This trick might give me the confidence to branch out a little more this summer.

No more blisters! How to break in shoes in less than two minutes.

A simple lampshade lined with gold sequins. I’m so going to DIY the crap out of this one.

6 words: sloth spoons cat to Jason Mraz.

Speaking of musicians, I just read that George Jones has passed. I’m not always a fan of what you might call “white hat country music”, but I have always been partial to George as he wrote the theme song to my childhood tap dancing debut, White Lightening. Tonight, I hope he and Tammy Wynette are smoochin once more.

Rest in peace, Old Possum.

A list of happy distractions from the month of March.

15 Assumptions you should make today.

Thoughts on tipping and tooting.

Marbleized eggs the easy way. The secret? Shaving cream. Why didn’t I see this three weeks ago?

…I’ll also be making these leopard beauties next year. 

A beautifully made reminder to live in the moment.

Have you heard about Gizgogle? It’s a parody website that converts webpages into slang. Click here to read mine. I can’t decide if it’s funny or offensive, but it makes me feel like I’m reading an early 90’s edition of MTV Jams. I’ll take it.

Meet Edith Windsor, the hero of the Marriage Equality movement. 

Wholly Toledo, I love this gal’s Pinterest page. Talk about a rabbit hole! 

Speaking of Pinterest, for anyone who has ever pinned some judgmental “weight loss = self-love + self-discipline” type of meme (you know who you are), this article was meant for you.

New wedding trend: Granny Flower Girls. 

Want to give $25 of someone else’s money away to a person in need? Michelle has the hook up.

I have always felt hesitant about increasing my sponsored posts. After reading this post from Maegan yesterday, I am not going to let myself feel bad about it anymore. Period.

Speaking of promotions…Kindle readers, did you know you can get 18 works of Jane Austen for 99cents? Or what about Anne of Green Gables? Or 55 works of Charles Dickens? Or a host of other authors, all for just 99 cents. Woot!

Looking to expand your craft blog scope? Amy’s got 50 you should see.

Most popular post this month: Duct Tape Easter Eggs. Not everyone wants to dye eggs, go figure?

Reading: Blink by Malcom Gladwell. Non-fiction, easy, fascinating read about how people think. Why are some people excellent decision makers while others are totally inept? It’s not a self-help book but it’s oddly helpful. If you have never read his book The Tipping Point, start there first.

Watching: Game of Thrones. I used to make fun of people obsessed with knights and dragons. Now I’m one of them. What?

Munching: Buttercrunch cashews. Don’t even ask.

Listening: 1940/50’s Novelty Jazz. Slim Gillard. Carmen McRae. Louis Prima. What’s that? You don’t like Italian supper club soundtracks? Fine. Check out the ten best bands of SXSW.

Wearing: Mardi Gras beads. Came back from vacation with 25 pounds of the stuff. Pictures to follow next week 🙂

I wish someone had shown this to me twenty years ago. For anyone who has a shy kid (or adult) in their life, read this.

Cats the look like pinups. Enough said.

Have an event coming up? Consider bulk flowers at a great price.

I can’t decide: Frenchie or Pee Wee?

I am in a month-long process of removing color from my kitchen (I heart the hot pink but it’s overstimulating and never looks clean). Fickle as I am, this post is now making me think of painting the insides of my cabinets tomato red!

Anyone have a munchkin who has outgrown their toy car collection? Put them to good use.

Well known movie critic Rex Reed wrote a scathing review of the new movie Identify Thief. That was okay, but then he decided that his article would be a good time to write vile, offensive things about Melissa McCarty’s weight. Not okay. So for the first time ever, everyone on the internet got together, had a meeting, and communally decided to tear him a new one. Read the comments.

Anyone who has ever sifted through a pile of resumes will appreciate this.

My friend Vicki made the most fabulous three dimensional Valentines. I am stealing this idea for next year’s Valentine swap!

Listen, not everyone can be as talented as I am when it comes to making typos. For anyone who needs to brush up on their grammar, this is a great resource at a bargain price. It’s geared toward creative bloggers, but really, just about anyone could benefit.

Reading: Divergent by Veronica Roth. It’s like candy. Helps me get my Hunger Games fix until the next movie comes out in November.

Watching: Celebrity Wife Swap. What’s worse; that I admit I watch it or that I enjoy it?

Munching: Girl Scout cookies. Don’t act like I’m alone on that one.

Listening: Tallest Man in the World, The Dreamer

Wearing: Leopard rubber boots (see above). Perfect gear for snow soup season. I don’t see them for sale at Target anymore, but these plaid babies are running a close second.

Most popular post this month: Donna, the Disco Giraffe.