Entertaining

I have a thing for folded napkins. Don’t ask me why or where it comes from, it just makes me feel good. My house could be in a state of filth unfit to grow penicillin with laundry piled to the ceiling and dishes in the sink…barely enough room on the table to eat a bowl of raisin bran…but, if the raisin bran comes with a cloth napkin folded up like a bishop’s hat, I feel just fine about the situation.  

I first learned to fold napkins as part of an etiquette class I attended in middle school. It used to be called Miss Patty’s Charm School but then someone said charm schools were anti-feminist so she changed it to Miss Patty’s Lady Lessons. I’m telling you, there just ain’t no stopping progress.

Later in life, my ability to fold napkins in the shape of the Sydney Opera House was one of the key deciding factors in getting me hired as a hostess in a fancy restaurant, which later blossomed into a serving position, which later turned into a weekend gig helping out with catering jobs in private homes. In all three of those situations, not one person ever commented on my ability to pour wine or dish pasta, but golly, I can’t tell you how impressed people got when they found out I could fold napkins. They would get all excited and gather around to watch me do it, making special requests and ask me “What is that amazing thing?! Where’d you learn how to do that?!”

Then I’d think to myself, Gosh, this is what it feels like to be David Cassidy.

I have been thinking about doing a napkin folding post for some time but it’s one of those things that never quite comes across in still pictures. Then I saw this gal, Maria, and her video above. She covers a variety of the basics and does it with such grace and gentleness. Another Miss Patty’s alumna, to be sure!

After my confetti mirror post earlier this week, a couple of people emailed me to ask about making homemade confetti. I had assumed, wrongly, that everyone was well practiced in the time-loved art of shredding tissue paper. I did it a lot as a kid. In part because there were a lot of confetti occasions, and in part because my parents asked me to make it when they needed to keep me busy. Note: next time you need to a few hours to prepare for a birthday party and your kid won’t leave you alone — set them in the corner and tell them to make confetti. BOOM, right there, you have three hours minimum.

As an adult, it takes a lot less time to make confetti. Ten minutes? Maybe less. I’m a lot handier with scissors. All you have to do is fold up some tissue paper, cut then 2″ fringes along the edge, then slice across. Sort of like dicing an onion. The smaller the slices, the smaller the pieces. The smaller the pieces, the longer you will find them in your carpet. Consider yourself forewarned. It’s pretty easy. Like, really easy.


Let’s take a sec to talk about scissors. In short, you need good ones. Sharp. They need not be funky flower print scissors like mine (I know, awesome much?  A holiday gift from Aunt Annie), but they need to be very sharp. Otherwise this will take forever.

Adding sparkle to confetti is hard because most sparkly stuff (like glitter) weighs much more than tissue paper, and so it settles to the bottom. I get around this by trimming the tips off tinsel garland, which is much lighter and fluffier.

Who needs confetti business cards? Yeah you do.
   

I like a big foofy floral centerpiece as much as anyone else, but there are occasions when the food needs to be the center of attention. Like Thanksgiving. Let’s face it: however beautiful, flowers look downright prissy when stacked next to a turkey carcass and Aunt JoAnna’s chess pie.

Just the same, I like a little bit of floral on the table. A little flowers, a little candles, a little bit of cloth napkins….suddenly everyone forgets who is winning the football game and is wondering what scrumptious bounty they are about to consume. Let’s give thanks!

These are called potato flowers but the potato is not required. You could use apples, pears, eggplants, tomato, pumpkins, gourds….any sort of fruit or vegetable that is independently hefty and leaks a bit when you cut it.  Use a knife to make small, deep incisions and stick the flower stems in the potato as though it were a flower frog. The flowers will stay alive for hours (sometimes days) by drawing on the moisture in the potato.

Hearty flowers like mums, carnations, roses, dahlias and status, do particularity well. One time I did this with nothing but clementines and baby’s breath. It was a weird combo, but in mass quantity scattered around the table, it worked great.  You just need to remember that the more acidic the fruit and the more delicate the flower, the faster they will fall. Lucky for us, the hearty sort of flowers always seem to come bundled together at the grocery store for cheap. Or if you are like me, there are some mums sitting out on your front steps just waiting for a haircut. While I’m out there, I also grab some fresh rosemary — it adds a fragrance and evergreen-ish texture that is just perfect for Thanksgiving.   

I learned this trick from my Mother’s friend Ramona, who learned it from her mother, who as legend has it, would make these arrangements for her bridge club using tiny red potatoes and flower cuttings from her garden. After the flowers were inserted she would wrap the bottom of the potato in a piece of ruffled bib lettuce and set it in an old-fashioned wide-mouth champagne glass. The arrangements would be clustered together on the buffet table at the start of the evening, then later when the ladies broke into groups to play bridge, the flowers would break apart and one small arrangement would be set at each table. Because they have such a small footprint, arrangements like this are especially nice for Thanksgiving (or bridge club) when you want to maximize every inch of real estate on the table.

Off topic: Why doesn’t  anyone play bridge anymore? I don’t even know how to play but I’d take it up in a heart beat if it came with finger sandwiches and miniature floral arrangements.

  You like my plaid table cloth? It’s a blanket. Got it on sale at Target (don’t buy on line if you can help it — it’s cheaper at the store).  It’s super soft and washes beautifully.

For the base, I used apples and old-fashioned sundae cups. I find sundae cups at thrift stores and garage sales for 20cents, sometimes less. I have no idea why anyone would get rid of them. I like them because they give a little bit of height, but they come in handy for all sorts of stuff around the kitchen, especially when it comes to entertaining. I should write a post on the many ways to use sundae cups. They are a seriously under appreciated!
I like it when flowers are scattered around the table instead of one clump in the middle. If it’s a small group, you can set them so that everyone at the table has their own little posy. Or if that’s too much fuss, make one for every other table setting, or just one to place on either side of the main platter in the center of the table.

 Variations on this idea: Apple Orchard Centerpiece, Gourd Decor, Camilla’s Apple Bombs. 

There is some scared cow of a rule about table centerpieces being no higher than 14″ so your guests can converse easily without obstruction.

I say screw it.

I say, keep the base short but add all the tall wispy things you can without poking someone’s eye out.

Tall wispy things don’t obstruct anyone’s view and they add a little drama. Stuff like this makes people feel special. Like they sitting down to something to remember.

I like that.

To make this, I just cut some stems off a bush in the yard. I’m not really sure what kind of bush it is, but I know I see them everywhere. They are especially popular in parking lots and along the sides of banks. Am I wowing you with my knowledge of horticultural splendor?

Bottom line is, I’ll bet you can find some wispy green branches around somewhere. Just make sure they have a firm stem.  Then, when you find them, pile up some old apples from the bottom of your pantry and make a hole in each one with a sharp knife….insert a branch in each hole and Shanana – Rama Ding Dong, you have something fabulous.

It’s like eating dinner in an apple orchard.

I like to sit in each seat for a second and adjust the branches, making sure every guest has clear eyeshot of everyone at the table.

Note the gold glitter plates. Those are coming up tomorrow. Get excited!